Bedroom too hot at night, husband doesn't care

[noairandstuffyatnight]

Been together 20 years and this is an ongoing problem. Dh insists that the bedroom door is closed overnight and that the place is in pitch black, so blackout blinds and curtains are up. The windows are open a crack, but can't open much more as the cat would climb out. If I shut the cat out overnight, she'll cry and scratch at the closed door. The room gets hot and stuffy quickly and I hate it. I'm menopausal and can't sleep and my sinuses get blocked as well. It's awful and I hate going to bed. I can't wake up in the mornings because there's no natural daylight coming in. He won't let me use a daylight alarm as he says it's too bright.

Dh says he can't have the door open because of noise from the other bedrooms, but the dcs are older teen/adult now and there is no real noise. Dh says he can hear buzzing and whatnot. I think he's over reacting. I can't put my mini fan on overnight because of the noise. What am I supposed to do? We have no spare bedrooms.

All I want is the bedroom door open a couple of feet and the en suite door open likewise so some throughput of air can take place.

It's your house too! You're entitled to be comfortable. He doesn't get to dictate to you like this.

Get a cat window protector and then you can open the window wider.

And say no to the blind because that will lessen air flow, either blackout lining on the curtains or he wears a mask.

I would tell him you're using a fan, end of discussion. What a prick. Nice to know the fucking world has to revolve around him and his wants.

Get him ear plugs and open the door.

He sounds like a selfish twat who doesn't give a fuck about your happiness.

If he was a nice man and good DH, I would suggest an eye mask and ear plugs, or perhaps separate bedrooms if possible.

But as he isn't a nice man and has form being a selfish arse I think i would getting a separate bedroom in a separate fucking house!!!

I've googled cat window guard and several things come up that look like a good idea

If your sleep needs are completely incompatible can two of your children share a room? Move them into the biggest room and you and your DH take the two smallest? Or could you set up a sleeping area downstairs?

I'd love a separate bedroom.

Ear plugs as the poster above said and also Get him to wear an eye mask, saves the need for blinds

Aw poor Dh, he doesn't like the light, he doesn't like noise, he doesn't like the fan. Well tough shit, you're menopausal so that now trumps his wants. Tell him to invest in ear plugs and an eye mask or he's welcome to the couch.

Also, if you have older DC/teenagers in the house he needs to be setting a better example of what relationships should be like ie kind, caring and considerate of each other's happiness.

A selfish, unkind and unpleasant partner who always puts himself first and won't compromise is a shit role model.

A woman who doesn't put up with that behaviour is a very good role model however...

Tell the selfish prick he can use ear plugs and an eye mask or sleep on the sofa.

The dcs are too old to share. I have slept in the lounge on an ikea mattress before when the bedroom has been unbearable. It's just where to store it during the day because the house is very small.

Can you sleep somewhere else?

Fly screen on the window if he will tolerate it open? You may get street noise and the blinds and curtains may block most of the breeze so may not help.

I'm like your husband. Having the door open does let different noises in. My husband doesn't insist on it being open though so that's all good. My husband likes having a fan though so I let him have one and turn it off once he is alseep so then I can fall asleep. Could your husband do that too?

That sounds horrible OP.

Perhaps a fold out bed, a good one, could be your main couch during the day? You could take it in turns to sleep there?

I’d also recommend acupuncture for hot flushes and night sweats. Mine are almost gone now. From one s hour 24hrs a day to perhaps two a day. Big difference. My sleep is better to. Expect to pay £50 upwards for a session. So relieved I got sorted. What a difference it has made. Will go back next month for another treatment if needs be to keep it at bay.

What happens if you don't do as your told op?

Can you divide the room so he has a bed away from the window with a blackout curtain up or something? Like people divide rooms for two children?

What about a cat flap so cat can come and go as he pleases and you could open windows wider?

I’m like your husband. Door shut, blackout blinds on window, window closed.

Only difference is, I sleep alone so I’m not affecting anyone else

He needs to compromise

Sorry, cat is a she not a he

Are you on HRT? Might help too.

yep ear plugs and mask.