DH doesn't recognise this as racism

[Lira91]

DH and I passed a stall on the way home selling England goodies for the final. DH decided to buy a few things to take in to work for him and his co workers since he'd be at the workplace during the match. He asked if he could get a deal since he was buying quite a few things for about 7 people (CF I know but it's the Asian in us ). The guy running the stall said "you wouldn't see me walking into your restaurant and asking for a discount on a lamb bhuna, would you?" DH agreed brushed it off but I said to the guy that he was being racist for assuming that because we're South Asian (should add that DH has an accent), it means he would work at a restaurant. DH thinks I'm over reacting but it always starts with small things like this and I just get fed up around football season when these kind of "you're not really one of us" comments roll around.

The irony Is strong with this one

' (CF I know but it's the Asian in us )'

And you are asking about racist stereotyping yet doing it yourself

Does he work in a restaurant?

@LuluJakey1

' (CF I know but it's the Asian in us )'

And you are asking about racist stereotyping yet doing it yourself

Doing it to themselves

Yeah that's a racist comment I'd not be happy.

Of course it was racist stereotype and you were right to challenge it. The stallholder might think twice next time.

If he'd mentioned your husband was only asking for a discount because hes Asian would you be unhappy? Probably. But you've just said the same thing about you and him.
Id have been on your side if you hadnt used a racist stereotype yourself.

To be honest I couldn't get worked up either way. Most my clients were Asian in my last job and some were incredibly racist and derogatory towards me, but asking for discounts was a particular bugbear (we had a tariff, everyone paid that tariff!) Other pet peeves were asking to speak to my boss (I was the boss despite being female) refusing to look at me, shaking my assistants hand not mine etc. I'm a woman and don't accept race, cultural norms or religion as an excuse.

In this case it sounds like you asked for a cheeky discount, he gave a tongue in cheek reply. When my clients would joke with me about not shaking hands etc I never minded as much as the rude ones, banter is fine

No he works in IT.
I'm not sure where the irony is? It's true that this happens more when there are big events, and as POC we're made to feel like we don't belong here.
@LuluJakey1 I guess the sarcasm didn't come across well when typing it out.

Yes it’s racist, as are those that are saying you started it. 😡

Yes it's racism.
I'd stop making comments like this though:
CF I know but it's the Asian in us as that's also a stereotype/generalisation.

He was racist.
You are racist.

I guess the sarcasm didn't come across well when typing it out.

Is racism acceptable if it's sarcastic?

Some vast double standards there.

The guy was obviously thinking in stereotypes.

Of course it's racist. But as pps have said, I'd stop making joky comments about yourselves that bolster ethnic stereotypes. I've had depressing amounts of xenophobic ignorance and prejudice shown towards me in the UK down the years, and it really doesn't help when I object, and the person says 'Oh, but my friend who is from Y is always saying Y about himself!'

Often POC make derogatory comments about themselves as a form of protection. Getting the racist dig in themselves could be seen to head off further racist comments towards them.

PPs accusing OP of racism need to think a little more critically.

You mention a racist stereotype that you apparently like to play up to (and it's not one I've ever heard of) - but you dont want anyone to racially stereotype you?

Righty ho then......

”You wouldn't see me walking into your restaurant and asking for a discount on a lamb bhuna, would you?" That’s racist stereotyping. I would never say that to or about an Asian person.

CF I know but it's the Asian in us That’s also racist stereotyping. I would never say that to, or about, an Asian person.

For an Asian person to say that about themselves is obviously different, but if you don’t want others to stereotype you, it’s probably best not to stereotype yourself.

PPs accusing OP of racism need to think a little more critically.

That's being charitable. Personally I wonder if they're just on the thread to have a dig at someone who has had the temerity to use the R word.

Yes it was racist.

And I am guessing that your comment about ‘the Asian in you’ was tongue-in-cheek ironic as in ‘you know what we’re like, asking for discounts as we stock our corner shops and serve lamb bhuna ’.

I am white and asked a French (in the UK) stall holder yesterday ‘what would be the price for 2’ about an expensive item (£45, made there in his workshop) yesterday. (He knocked off £5 and carried then to my car).

(CF I know but it's the Asian in us )

I recognised that as racist straight away.

I dont consider it racism but then you'd know better than me. I'd just think he picked a random example where asking for a deal wouldn't be tolerated.

I think it's racist. Or at least a microagression.

He was rude to ask for a discount and although not ok, people do respond negatively to rudeness.

Also it's offensive to make generalisations about South Asians. Just because he's a rude cheapskate doesn't mean all people from that area or background are.

He asked if he could get a deal since he was buying quite a few things for about 7 people (CF I know but it's the Asian in us blush )

Maybe to spare your blushes, you should stop promoting racial stereotypes about Asians.