DH doesn't recognise this as racism

[Lira91]

DH and I passed a stall on the way home selling England goodies for the final. DH decided to buy a few things to take in to work for him and his co workers since he'd be at the workplace during the match. He asked if he could get a deal since he was buying quite a few things for about 7 people (CF I know but it's the Asian in us ). The guy running the stall said "you wouldn't see me walking into your restaurant and asking for a discount on a lamb bhuna, would you?" DH agreed brushed it off but I said to the guy that he was being racist for assuming that because we're South Asian (should add that DH has an accent), it means he would work at a restaurant. DH thinks I'm over reacting but it always starts with small things like this and I just get fed up around football season when these kind of "you're not really one of us" comments roll around.

Yeah the guy was racist and I know what you mean that during big national events racism can tend to flare or be more on show. I’m sorry, it sucks.

It’s racial stereotyping, however he is a stall holder likely to be working class and running his own business therefore unlikely he meant it in a derogatory way.

@Bringithome

Does he work in a restaurant?

Stereotyping your own culture is ok lol It’s hardly the same as a white bloke making an Indian restaurant joke to Asian people

The racism seems equal on both sides. You implying that all south Asians are after a discount and he by assuming you work in an Indian restaurant.

I can't get too fussed about it. If the comment had been unprompted, then yes absolutely, but it wasn't.

@sykadelic

I dont consider it racism but then you'd know better than me. I'd just think he picked a random example where asking for a deal wouldn't be tolerated.

It’s not though It would be if a white person said it, don’t you see the difference?

@Mintjulia

The racism seems equal on both sides. You implying that all south Asians are after a discount and he by assuming you work in an Indian restaurant.

I can't get too fussed about it. If the comment had been unprompted, then yes absolutely, but it wasn't.

Asian people making a jokey comment stereotyping their own culture isn’t equal to white people making sarcastic comments stereotyping Asian people

You can’t be serious

That is really racist! I wouldn't have been able to help myself and asked him where you get lamb buna's in an IT dept

You were asking for a discount ffs not a judgment

Where they white?

It was racist but please don’t let it spoil the football for you! This is national moment for everyone in Britain, not just racially stereotyping white men. He would have said that racist comment regardless of the item you DH was buying.

Lighten up a bit everyone please, how sophisticated and thought through do you expect banter with stall holder to be?

Wow, I'm Asian, so I must be CF, right?

Yup racist

@Lira91 isn't being racist about herself - you are allowed to take the piss out of your own customs / culture / looks etc., isn't that why us British have (we think) such a good sense of humour, because we make fun of ourselves?
He was out of order to the throw the Indian food comeback at you. May be it was meant at "banter", but not my sense of humour.

sounds like the guy behind the stall was being racist, but you are also stereotyping too.

It’s racial stereotyping, however he is a stall holder likely to be working class and running his own business therefore unlikely he meant it in a derogatory way

how sophisticated and thought through do you expect banter with stall holder to be?

These are horribly classist comments.

@markmichelle

Lighten up a bit everyone please, how sophisticated and thought through do you expect banter with stall holder to be?

This is incredibly rude

What might the stall holder have said to a white person?

I'd guess something like "No chance, mate. Trying to make a living here."
Because the guy wouldn't have a handy stereotype in his mind to 'banter' with.

Yes, it was a racial stereotye but as you used one against yourself and, by your own admission, played up to it, maybe he was just countering one racial stereotype with another.

It’s an ignorant and racist comment

@FridayNightByCandlelight

Yes, it was a racial stereotye but as you used one against yourself and, by your own admission, played up to it, maybe he was just countering one racial stereotype with another.

Do you not get the difference between an Asian person mocking their own cultural stereotypes and a white person doing the same about the Asian stereotypes??

Do you not get the difference between an Asian person mocking their own cultural stereotypes and a white person doing the same about the Asian stereotypes??
Exactly. Yes he was racist op

Is it racist? Just a stereotype really. You’ve likely been raised to think of these things as racist but your DH is right, it’s not. If he’s from another culture (as per your OP) then he’s probably seen real racist shit and this petty stuff doesn’t register

@Lira91

DH and I passed a stall on the way home selling England goodies for the final. DH decided to buy a few things to take in to work for him and his co workers since he'd be at the workplace during the match. He asked if he could get a deal since he was buying quite a few things for about 7 people (CF I know but it's the Asian in us ). The guy running the stall said "you wouldn't see me walking into your restaurant and asking for a discount on a lamb bhuna, would you?" DH agreed brushed it off but I said to the guy that he was being racist for assuming that because we're South Asian (should add that DH has an accent), it means he would work at a restaurant. DH thinks I'm over reacting but it always starts with small things like this and I just get fed up around football season when these kind of "you're not really one of us" comments roll around.

And yet I have just taken my dog for a walk, and walked past a group of children who I assume had asian heritage (I live in an area where there is a large Asian minority) playing football singing its coming home really made me smile.

I think it’s all about perspective. The stall holder’s idea of a good off the cuff metaphor was course and insensitive, but your husband’s attitude to just blow it off and roll on with life was probably the right one.

Yes it was racist
As for people saying that you were being racist about yourself too that’s rubbish. Quite a few of DDs Indian friends make jokes at school about hiding their Mums shoes when they get less than 90% in a test but she wouldn’t dream of doing the same .