My husband died 2 days ago

[ghostmouse]

Mr Mouse sadly lost his short battle with cancer 2 days ago.

I am absolutely heartbroken and lost and missing him so badly.

Will this pain ever stop?

So sorry for your loss @ghostmouse

So sorry to hear this ghostmouse

So no sorry to hear your sad news. I read your first two threads and was so happy for you that you had been able to marry Mr. Mouse. You have been through so much in such a short time. I wish you strength for the weeks and months ahead.

I am so sorry about this. Thinking of you and your children. It was obvious how much you loved him. x

I followed your other threads and hoped you’d have a bit more time. I’m truly so very sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort in knowing how many mumsnetters care about you all x

I'm really Really sorry

I'm so sorry Mouse. Please be very kind to yourself.

Really sorry. Sending you hugs.

So sorry xx

I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband Ghostmouse. I think the love you shared was so very special and we are with you in your journey. I am a very similar age to you, I only got married myself a couple of years ago, I can’t imagine what you are going through but hope your love and your children and the memories you have of your time together can carry you through. You had something really special and carry it with you still. Others with greater experience have put forward wise words. I just want to wish you all the best and much love tonight x

I'm so sorry you have lost Mr Mouse.

Thank you all for your comforting words

I feel so lost

I have so many strange and conflicting emotions and right now this morning I feel like so lonely.

It's worse in the morning when I know i have to wake up and face another day.

My house is a mess I haven't unpacked any of the hospital and hospice bags I took.

I'm struggling to cope with how his body looked and the fact he couldn't walk or barely move because of the swelling.

We married a 10 days ago and I didn't get a chance to change my name. Am I still married? Stupid bloody question I know.

I'm angry, sad, scared, angry
Angry with the doctors etc for missing his cancer twice, not giving us answers when we needed them. Not being straight with us.

My poor kids, who are struggling as they adored him even though we were together for 3 years.

I've had a look at way. Ive joined but it's pending approval. My married name doesn't match up with the name on my bank card so I might have problems there

I'm having a look at ball in box grief now.

I'm dreading the funeral so much. Sorting out so much as well.

Grief is love with that has nowhere to go

So sorry @ghostmouse

You are at the very beginning of this difficult journey ghostmouse. I have been there and know how it feels. So much to sort out and not the heart to do it all; not just funeral and belongings, but changing your name after your marriage. So many people who need to be informed on top of all the emotion.

Are there family members who can take some of the practical burdens off you? Take all the help that is offered.

Lots of people are here ready to support you in any way they can.

My heart is with you.

I’m so very sorry for your loss, I have been reading your threads and I hope you are comforted in a small way that your mumsnet pals are all thinking of you. I wish you could have had more time with your Darling Husband.❤️

Sincere condolences 😔

Another one following your previous threads, so sorry to read this update.
I am 10 years on from similar. A day at a time at this stage, you'll learn to function, then to cope and eventually to live and smile again. Mr Mouse would want you to keep going, for you and for the kids. He'll always be with you.

So sorry for you

I'm so sorry for your loss. The speed of it all unfolding must have been a terrible shock for you all. Can I suggest Winstons Wish for support for the children if that might be helpful when they feel ready. www.winstonswish.org/

Yes, you ARE married. You will always be Mrs DH unless you decide otherwise.

I agree to asking for help, dealing with banks etc can be really difficult; they won't be able to make changes on your behalf, but at least use speaker phone, and they can help you carry on the conversation.

Take each hour as it comes.
Write down all the practical things you need to do/ wonder about, just as things pop in your head.

Put an asterisk next to the 2-3 things you think are probably most important.

I'm sorry, I can't do anything about the awful experience you're going through, but these are the practical things I find useful in this situation.

In the same way we wouldn't expect to feel 100% happy for the rest of our lives, neither can we expect to feel 100% unhappy for the rest of our lives either. It is both a curse and a blessing that life always, always carries on.

This too shall pass x

Mrs mouse- so sorry. I have been where you are right now and it is the most terrifying and lonely place. You will feel lost, nothing can prepare you. However trite the saying is, one day at a time. Do not let anyone else tell you how to feel or behave, only those who have been there can begin to understand. Hold your children close, be honest and proud how resilient and brave they are. I think everyone needs to grieve in their own way, but one thing I would change is letting DC see how very upset I was. I thought it would allow them to understand it is okay to be upset but it freaked them out a bit. They worried about not upsetting me. Early days- you will survive because you have to. I am sorry, I have no advice about how to take away that raw, primeval pain and anxiety right now. Just sending love and hugs x

Sorry Mrs Mouse, reading that back- obviously it is okay to be upset around DC. I just took it a bit too far! The things I really struggled with was the house feeling totally different, the daily routines changed and even shopping. Seeing DH's fancy coffee on offer destroyed me because usually I would treat him. People tend to forget that we still have to get up, do the school run, shop, do household chores and that the other person who did this with you is gone is huge. It is not just grief for the person you loved but for the life you lived and your dreams for the future. All of this is normal.x

@ghostmouse I've had a look at way. Ive joined but it's pending approval. My married name doesn't match up with the name on my bank card so I might have problems there

If you have any problems, please contact me xxxxxxx

I’m so sorry
I remember you saying recently that you’d just got married and I was hoping you’d get a decent amount of time together

Just heartbreaking
No words but a virtual hug from me