Trapped toddler parents: Inspiration and support needed through the summer hols!!

[PinkDaydreams]

Following on from the previous trapped toddler thread!
Sorry for rubbish title!

@Chocolatetrifle they look really good. My DD loves Dinos and more indoor activities are defo needed.

@squishymamma good news that DS got on well at nursery. Sounds like it gave you a wee bit time to relax too.

Had my 2nd covid vaccine yesterday, so been feeling a bit rough today. But it could have also been from a rubbish sleep. DDhas kept busy though.

My friend asked if we wanted to go to soft play next week. Can’t decide if I’m ready for that yet (also with the potty training going on). The prices have also shot up. Is it same everywhere else?

@PinkDaydreams, ah, shame about the Costa trip, perhaps you can go another day. We had the heavens open up here too. Torrential it was.

@BeHereNowx32, we've been to soft play once since they opened up. It was ok but I wouldn't rush back. My DS2 didn't like it at all, although he sat happily in the cafe. DS1 loved it though. Think the price increase was due to them limiting numbers at that time, although it still felt as though there were a lot of people there. I think you either love them or hate them. I'm a bit in the last camp, would rather be outside if possible, plus we all got I'll afterwards,but that could just be a coincidence!

How's everyone's day?

dS2 has found anew hobby, climbing onto the toilet and flushing it .

😱😱😱😱

Bedtime tonight just hell on wheels. I actually cried DT2 got out of bed and into DT1 bed about 7 times. I really lost it and sort of hissed furiously at her DD1 was calling through from the other room asking what was happening.

Feel like such a shit parent.

Just catching up as have been away for the week to Tenby. It's been wonderful.

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff you aren't a shit parent. Just a normal human like all of us. Tomorrow is a new day and clean slate.

@Motherofmonsters that sickness bug sounded hell on Earth so I hope your bodies have got a good immunity to it now.

Still raining here today. Going to try to set up a room divider using large plastic storage boxes so DD can play with her playmobil one side without DS endangering his health eating it (he has a playpen but just the sight of it makes him cry). DH away on a stag weekend (not missed those) but I am away next weekend so trying to deal with it cheerfully.
@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff you are doing an amazing job having the patience you do with the DTs bedtime. One day (hopefully soon!) they will be over this phase!
Very interested in any tips you may have about enjoying family holidays in the uk @footprintsintheslow! We did a week in Somerset in July and it was just exhausting!
Best of luck with the return to work @squishymamma!

Evening!

@BeHereNowx32 hope you're feeling good now after the vaccine. We have never been to soft play...it's crazy expensive here, and gives me anxiety if I'm honest because of COVID. But I would like to try!

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff sorry to hear you had such a hard time last night. Hope it goes better tonight! You're 100% not a shit parent, it's that annoying age period where they have to test every boundary and don't care about anything but their own feelings and authority...as @Lostthetastefordahlias said it will pass! Sending support until then

We had a 5am wakeup today, which meant DS then had his nap ridiculously early...so had another one at 4pm. He still seems tired now (DH in the middle of bathtime) but not looking forward to bedtime. We went to PIL today and had a lovely time, always relaxing when others are around to help with DS!

Hope you all had a good day!

Evening everyone, hope you are all ok and had a decent day.

@footprintsintheslow, glad you had a nice holiday, a change of scenery can work wonders.

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff,. How is bed time going tonight? You are definitely not a bad parent, dear god, the little cherubs know how to push our buttons and test us to to the end of our limits. We have all been there. Hopefully tonight is a bit easier for your tonight.

@Lostthetastefordahlias, how did it go with the room divider? I had to put one up when DS2 was born. It's such a good idea to give them each a bit of space until they can interact together (aka be next to each other for very short time until the snatching starts!).

@squishymamma, hope DS settles after his afternoon danger nap.

We've had a decent day despite the rain for a change. We just went into town really early and boys went on the little rides they have there. They went on about 8 and it passed an hour. It was swimming this afternoon so that passed the time too.

Hope everyone gets some sleep.

So DS1 was at preschool again this morning, he went in crying and then when I collected him they said he had been sick after crying so much . Part of me is quite annoyed they let him get in such a state that he was sick but not sure if that's me bring over emotional. He seems to cry on and off every time he's there.

Can anyone tell let me know if you have had any experience of this with your DC (hope not!) and how you dealt with it? He will will be 4 in October so not starting school until next year. His teacher who he started to like is off until September. The other ladies do seem lovely but they say he needs an adult with him and won't start to play with the other kids himself. I feel really sad but I guess it does just take longer for some than others. I am hopeful he will settle eventually once his other teacher is back and seems to structure the activities better. I can't bear knowing he is crying there at all but guess I just need to take it one session at a time?

Ps how is everyone?

I'm sure he'll settle in soon @chocolatetrifle, I think changes at school can have a big effect on them. Could reading stories about going to nursery help?

I've had a bad few days and a couple good days. I've been really struggling with DS and his behaviour, I just don't know how to help him. PIL came to take him out and he was messing about and I just totally lost my cool, shouted at him and then cried in front of them. They've been amazing since, they've had DS this weekend so I can have a break. My friends came down from Kent so we had a lovely catch up this afternoon

@Chocolatetrifle it's always horrible to hear your little one has had a rough time when you're not there. I'm surprised they let him get so wound up too, but I guess we don't know the whole situation. Sending support and hoping it passes soon is it the being away from you that's upsetting? You can maybe tie an "invisible string" around his wrist and around your wrist, and tell him he can tug on it if he misses you and know you're still connected. Saw that on yet another Insta page and thought it was clever, as long as they believe you

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear you've had a rough couple of days, but hurrah for the PIL - so good to have some support! Hoping you figure it out soon, though I feel like just as I figure out DS he changes...

We've had a good few days, my first day back at work was nice and easy and DS is still doing great at nursery. The head of our institute (I'm in research) has said he wants us all to transition back to the office through August and September and I'm a little nervous about it, even though things are looking promising in terms of infection rates etc. Plus I've become so lazy since I started WFH I'm sure it will be a shock to have to get in on time and actually work all day

Hope everyone has a good evening!

@Chocolatetrifle
My daughter cried for the first three weeks. It was awful fro everyone but it doesn't sound as intense as what's going on for you all. I was told she'd cry sporadically throughout the session but she would stop. She's never been sick there.
She has cried until she's been sick at home though and it didn't take her long to go from zero to vomiting.
I'm also a reception teacher so I've seen many children cry and I've never known one that didn't settle eventually. It's awful for you I know.
Have you tried someone else dropping your little one off? So maybe your partner or a relative?

@Motherofmonsters sorry to hear about your bad few days but I'm glad you've had support. Maybe the PIL could do a regular slot for you, even if it was once a month? Then you'd have light at the end of the tunnel regularly.

@squishymamma great news about work. Well done. Scary office news though. I'm dreading having to get anywhere on time now.

My news is I'm sooooo tired. I'm really exhausted and on my knees. Holidays really do me in. Plus we had no washing machine in the accommodation so I came home with stacks of clothes, blankets and towels and 3 sets of bedding. It's been intense this weekend getting on top of everything with it raining and no tumble dryer. Anyway moan moan moan

@Motherofmonsters, thank you so much for listening. That is such a great idea about the books. I've just found a couple off Amazon and ordered them. Sorry you've had a bad couple of days. I lost my cool earlier today after DS2 threw his lunch on the floor. I threw the TV remote at the wall ( not in front of the DSs' and it broke). Terrible, terrible parenting and am very ashamed.

Glad you've had your in-laws to help you out and that's great you had a good afternoon seeing your friends.

@squishymamma, yes, he just wants to be with me, god help him . That's a lovely idea, perhaps I might give him something to take with him. That's hard to think about heading back into the office. Try to phase it so much that you won't he in much before finishing for maternity perhaps?

You might fine you enjoy it once you get back into the routine of the office again @squishymamma I like the low level background chatter on my office days (makes a change from DH watching sport). But mainly I love my lunchbreak, a whole hour to myself with a fancy sandwich, a cappuccino and a book. Most relaxing bit of my week!

I'll join you on the sooo tired front @footprintsintheslow. I think I'm more mentally weary than physically tired - my DC seem to tag team random illnesses/isolations every fornight and I can never relax because I'm thinking "who'll be ill next". Luckily everyone is back at nursery/holiday club today. We are all happier out of the tiny flat!

for @motherofmonsters and @Chocolatetrifle I made this yesterday and wish I could give you both a big slice with a cup of tea. Kids are exhausting. DS1 has picked up a brilliant vocabulary lately - keeps calling everyone "idiots" and "weirdos" because he knows it's naughty (picked up from 101 dalmations of all places!)

@footprintsintheslow, thank you for sharing your experience. I know he will settle eventually but in the meantime it feels horrible. DH is going to take him on Wednesday.

Hope you get sorted with the washing. Can you try for an early night? I know it doesn't mean you get much of an evening but even bed before 9.30 for me means I can sort of cope with the night and next day.

@Camomila, cake looks delicious and thank you too for the support.

Hope everyone has a decent night x

@Chocolatetrifle good advice for an early night. I'll go ASAP.

You may just find that someone else dropping them off will break the pattern. Let us know how it goes. How many days a week do they go?

@footprintsintheslow, he currently goes Mon, Tuesday, Wednesday 9 until 11. From September he will go Mon to Fri 9 until 12 with lunch. They seem to think he will settle better when he's there everyday. I thought I was doing the right thing settling him slowly! Fingers crossed we will get there at some point I'm sure

Hope you got an early night.

How is everyone today? What is everyone up to? Boys are currently grating carrots!

Sorry it's Mon, we'd and Thurs he currently goes!

@Chocolatetrifle sorry to hear that your DS is finding things tough. It must be so hard. It would upset me, if it was DD going though this. I used to work in childcare, and a lot of children do find it upsetting leaving their parents at first. Does DS have an all about me book or photo album in the nursery? You could put in photos of yourself and other family members, let him take in a comforter (like a cuddly toy if blanket). It can take time for them to settle sometimes, but it is good that he is just there for a couple of hours at a time. For now anyway! Hope he is ok soon. Hopefully when he knows for sure that you always come back!
Do you follow mrchazz on Instagram? I’m sure that he had a story about children starting new settings. They had made up a book with photos of the setting eg. Nursery. It obviously I can’t find it now!

X

@Chocolatetrifle I'm exactly the same. My dd went two mornings a week as a rising three. All the staff said she's crying as she's only doing two days. But I honestly believe if a child is going to be a cryer they will cry wether they go full or part time.

I feel they can do a short sharp shock and cry everyday full time and they get over it in a few weeks or they go part time and cry for more weeks. Either way they will settle and part time suits my requirements right now.

@Chocolatetrifle also have you tried going into the nursery. Not sure if that's allowed at all? Made a big difference to my eldest who wouldn't speak for the first few weeks.

The other thing someone told me to do is draw a little heart on the palm of my hand and the child's hand. Then when they feel sad they can press the heart gently and be with mummy. Something like that anyway and I never tried it to be honest.

What worked in the end was chatting to any parents I could find and get my dd to walk in with the other kids. I told her one of them was always looking after her and it made her feel better. I had one mum and child over for a week lay date and arranged park dates with others. But most of all time helped. Just letting this emotion and change run it's course.

FIL has just messaged to say he's got the bug we had last week, that's a nice reward for him after looking after DS all weekend. I cant believe it's still going! That's MIL, SIL and BIL all getting it as they live together.

We've had our shopping delivered this morning and then going to my mum's house later. DS seems to be part foghorn today, literally shouting constantly.

Hi everyone, thank you all for being so lovely and for all of your great ideas, you have given me lots to think about. I'm going to try some of the things suggested definitely.

We have been out this morning to Gregg's (!) and boys loved it, it's a large one with a cafe so they had a little snack and drink, thought it was amazing, then we went to the library so feeling better about things today.

I just have to prepare myself for it being a long settling in process I think. Hopefully going everyday will help and I'm sure when the teacher he has clicked most with is back, it will be better. He likes the Cook too. I will voice my concern too about any other incidents like yesterday as it really didn't sit right with me, he should not be sitting alone crying then getting sick, surely one of the Teachers should be helping him to integrate more but I know it takes time for them to mix and make friends.

I was feeling guilty that because I'm at home (I work part-time, self - employed (legal profession)) and because of all the Corona lockdowns, as he's not been to nursery before now and his toddler groups stopped that I have set him up to struggle. But up and feeling more positive today and am going to crack this and he is going to know that I am on his side and will sort it for him and speak up for him.
Thought that a little reward chart/incentive thing might help too.

Sorry for long indulgent post and thank you all .

@Motherofmonsters, oh heck, poor FIL! It's awful when the illnesses go around everyone. Hope he is feeling better soon.

Good evening!

@footprintsintheslow I haaaaaaaate washing too. We don't have a tumble dryer either and it takes an eternity to dry one load. Plus it's hard to find places to put double sheets...

@Camomila really good point, I might create a haven of peace and quiet when I'm back in. Still not allowed to eat in the canteen with others so I'll be eating on my own anyway! Can I have some of that cake too? Looks amazing

@Motherofmonsters oh no, your poor FIL! Impressive that the bug managed to survive so long. Hope they get over it quickly.

@Chocolatetrifle you definitely have not set him up to fail, all children are different and some need a little more adjustment time than others. It's normal and right for us parents to be the most important people at this point in their lives, some just find transitions easier than others I think. He'll settle in eventually

Another day of work down, DH dropped DS off at nursery today and apparently he was crying and clinging desperately to DH, poor thing. Was fine pretty fast after he left though, and was in fine spirits when I picked him up. We walked home and then to a playground, tired him out so much he spent the rest of the evening alternating between whining and sitting there zoned out.

We also passed by a little stall with 2 kids selling things they'd grown in their garden. They couldn't have been more than 8 years old, we paid the equivalent of £1 for 6 berries it was either that or a very stunted carrot for 20p, and I didn't see how few berries there were until I had paid...but it was worth it to encourage their entrepreneurial spirit

Hope everyone has a peaceful night!