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Original poster

How long would you leave a 13yo DS at home on their own for?

128 replies

crummyusername · 03/07/2021 23:22

DH and I are in disagreement about this. I won't say what he thinks and what I think, so as not to bias it... but it would be v useful to get some outside views... and especially any links to information on this (I know what the govt guidance is, which is fairly vague).

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 03/07/2021 23:24

I left mine for several hours when we went out in the evening once they were of secondary school age. So from 8 till midnight.

FortunesFave · 03/07/2021 23:25

I've left mine for about 6-7 hours. She won't go to a babysitter and sometimes her older sister isn't here when I work on Saturdays. Her Dad also has to work some Saturdays so she's alone.

She knows the rules, she usually enjoys it. She can make a toasted sandwich/noodles etc and I make sure there are plenty of snacks available.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 03/07/2021 23:26

All day is fine.

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Clymene · 03/07/2021 23:26

All day or all evening. I wouldn't leave them overnight

FindingMeno · 03/07/2021 23:27

Depends on how far away you're going and if it's daytime or evening.
I would say about 4/5 hours in the daytime if you're not far away, unless there is someone else who wouldn't mind a call if needed.
Evening probably a couple of hours and only if they were completely comfortable.
I would be ringing to check on them also.

CatsArePeople · 03/07/2021 23:28

All day is fine, with a list of tasks to do. Otherwise just be gaming all day.

DrDreReturns · 03/07/2021 23:29

I've left mine alone all day at that age.

Wimpund21 · 03/07/2021 23:30

Any amount of hours during the day...not overnight though.

FortunesFave · 03/07/2021 23:30

As you can see OP, a full day is normal. But there are 13 year olds who would hate it and some who can't be trusted....what's your story? Is your DH the one who doesn't want to leave him or you? What are the reasons?

GreenClock · 03/07/2021 23:31

All day or all evening ok at that age. Not overnight.

FawnFrenchieMum · 03/07/2021 23:31

My DS stayed home all day while I worked at that age. He was fine, barely left his bedroom. Left pot noodles, beans & toast or bread fro sandwiches for lunch. He has a phone and would text occasionally during the day. The rules was he must always text me to tell me if he was going out, when he was back and if any of his friends were coming over.

AlexaShutUp · 03/07/2021 23:32

Assuming they're sensible and capable, I think all day in the daytime is fine as an occasional thing. It's far too isolating to leave them alone all day every day though. And personally, I wouldn't have left mine for longer than a couple of hours in the evening at that age.

AlexaShutUp · 03/07/2021 23:34

And yes, I'd keep in touch with them by phone, and I wasn't ever that far away.

Cushionsnotpillows · 03/07/2021 23:35

I'm not following the mn line on this. We didn't leave ours for longer than about an hour at aged 13. He's sensible, we live in a quiet village with nice neighbours and also have a barky dog who would scare anybody off from entering the house, but even with all that, we didn't feel right leaving him for longer. Just our preference. It depends on you, the teen and your circumstances.

Seasidemumma77 · 03/07/2021 23:37

Ds often home alone for my entire 10hr shift. My work is within walking distance, if he needs me, and lots of my friends around if he ever needed urgent help.

Elverybaby · 03/07/2021 23:38

Depends on the child and the area/circumstances.

AttaGirrrrl · 03/07/2021 23:42

week if you were my parents, circa 1990…

Now? A day or an evening definitely, overnight if they were super (super!) sensible.

PenelopeP1tstop · 03/07/2021 23:42

Well mine is 14 and I'd leave him for an entire day if I had to and it was not day after day. He only really needs me for providing snacks and meals and drinks these days Grin I could leave him every day but A I don't need to as I work from home and B I'd prefer. It to anyway

At night, I'd be comfortable with going out for a meal or to the cinema so an evening of maybe 3-4 hours.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 03/07/2021 23:42

All day or all evening but not both and not overnight.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 03/07/2021 23:43

Wish I could edit to add - My DS is 13.

PenelopeP1tstop · 03/07/2021 23:43

@AttaGirrrrl you'd really leave a 13 year old overnight? That's not great tbh

Grainjar · 03/07/2021 23:47

I wouldn't leave them 8 hours a day for 5 days a week whilst I worked. I think yes to a couple of hours after school. Neither would I leave them late at night where they might get scared or worried. But I would go shopping for a few hours in the day.

tiredanddangerous · 03/07/2021 23:48

Mine was home alone for 5 hours today. I'd happily leave her all day.

Original poster
crummyusername · 03/07/2021 23:49

Thanks for replies so far. DH is actually exDH and we are separated, and can’t agree on many things around the kids, this being one of them.

DS is perfectly happy being home on his own and would just watch TV. (Usually this is due to me taking his younger brother to an activity, as I’m WFH at the moment).

ExDH says he can’t be left for more than 30 minutes. I think a couple of hours is fine, and can call and check on him if need be. Unfortunately exDH is very stubborn so I’m trying to get a sense of whether he’s being as unreasonable as I think he is.

OP posts:
Lockdownbear · 03/07/2021 23:55

Couple of hours is more than reasonable. Remember 16 they can basically do their own thing.

30 mins is nothing, I'd consider leaving a 10yo unattended for 30mins.
Mid 80s I had a key at 10 and was home alone for 30 mins until my sibling got home.

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