Does anyone else have really old fashioned parents?

[Spoldge45]

My mum & dad are both 71, so not that old, but honestly, I feel as tho they are in their mid-eighties. They dont seem to have embraced anything post 1995.

They still take their camera film to the shop to be developed
They don't use the internet/have never brought anything online.
They don't have mobile phones (even tho not using one has caused issues in the past like last year when my mum fell over whilst out walking, & she was badly injured but had no way of contacting anyone. so had to wait to be found by a passer-by)

I'm just curious to see if this is so rare or if others have parents in a similar situation, who just refuse to embrace any form of technology.

My uncle gave my mum a mobile, but she wont use it. We brought them a tablet a few Christmases ago & spent ages showing them how to use it, but it just gathers dust.

As they are getting older I feel technology could be really useful to them. I worry about my mum going out alone without a phone as she has some health problems & is very unsteady on her feet, but despite my best efforts she wont use a mobile.

Is anyone else in a similar situation & do you have any tips? Thanks x

My mom is 76 and has a mobile but never takes it out with her, she won't buy anything online but asks me to do it for her, she won't do a weekly shop online but will give me a list of things to fetch for her and the time I persuaded to use an online car insurance company I didn't hear the end of it, it was over a hundred pounds cheaper but she moaned that she didn't have a paper copy, even though it gets put in a folder and not looked at again for a year then shredded.

She won't do online banking, her bank has closed lots of branches and the nearest one is almost 10 miles away, she moans everytime she has to drive there and each time they offer to set up Internet banking.

She does have a laptop which she uses for playing games and is an intelligent woman but seems to almost enjoy making her life harder and complaining about it.

Thinking about this thread.. I think I know more people my own age (so say 30’s - 40’s) who have grown up around technology, desperately trying to keep their dc as tech free as possible. Resisting smart phones for teens and so on. Even going so far in one case as to buy an old fashioned typewriter! Than I do older people 70’s+ who deliberately refuse to embrace new technology. (Not judging.. just an observation.)
And re photographs.. I have an app that will turn any photo I take on my phone into a postcard, and send it wherever in the world.. it’s called TouchNote if that helps anyone.

My mum is mid 70's and she's stuck in the 1950's, god it's frustrating

My mother will never embrace technology. At the age of 83 she has never learnt to drive, used a mobile phone, computer in any form or the internet, never had a debit or credit card or written a cheque and never owned a microwave or even a steam iron. It took lockdown for her to accept me setting up a direct debit for her council tax. All other bills are paid in cash and require walking to a place where it can be paid in.

I'm early forties and so saddened by this thread. It's made me determined I will never get left behind with tech. Life must be so bewildering otherwise.

My parents are only mid 60s. My dad has embraced tech and has a smart phone, laptop etc and buys lots of stuff online. He needs to be computer savvy up to a pining for work.

My mum refuses to use anything. She was in hospital recently and had no way of contacting anyone. Luckily I work in the hospital so I brought her in my old iPhone. Showed her how to use it etc. She used it for the duration of her stay, I said she was welcome to keep it if she’d keep using it. She said she would, but I don’t think she’s turned it on since she’s been home!!

DHs parent’s are older. His mum is late 70s and can use a smart phone and send emails. I know a 99 year old who uses a smart phone. My mum just likes to be different!!

My parents are 71. They both live about a hundred miles away.

Mum loves her iPad, FaceTime and WhatsApp as they’re great for keeping in touch with our large and scattered family. In other ways though she is cautious about tech - won’t use a cash machine or online banking, or buy anything over the internet - which as she gets older I think could be problematic. My brother who lives abroad is her tech support and is good at persuading her to try new things.

My dad by contrast is completely the opposite - not helped by my stepmother who refused to have a toaster, microwave or answering machine in the 90s so the internet has had no chance with her! Dad has an email account (largely used for emailing his sister in America), will buy stuff on eBay but refuses to FaceTime or take any opportunity of tech bringing him closer to my kids. Not gonna lie, I feel sad about it. He is quite a distant figure to them.

My nans in her seventies and my ds at around the age of 3 taught her to use an IPad she now has an iPhone and can call out and send texts my mum started using internet banking last year and is now really good she can do most things now from zoom meeting to Moonpig etc… although my Nan still has a basic bank card you cannot use in shops just in the machine but they’re catching up quite well.

Sometimes I feel it is all a load of bollocks and stereotyping. Our local community centre keeps advertising groups for seniors. Number one on the list is basic computer skills. Really? If you have been in the workplace any time in the last 25 years surely you have had to use a computer.

Please provide watercolour painting lessons instead.

MIL 83 is like many described in this thread. She's got a basic mobile but can never remember how to use it which can be frustrating when DH takes her to hospital appointments and he's not allowed to wait inside anymore and she can't remember how to call him to let him know she's ready despite being told how and DH writing it down for her. A few years ago her phone provider rang and persuaded her to sign up to broadband - she hadn't got a clue what it was and DH had to cancel when he found out.

If you have been in the workplace any time in the last 25 years surely you have had to use a computer.

A surprising number of women do jobs, often part time or on a self employed basis, that don't require a computer.

Surely it’s up to the individual whether or not they wish to be savvy with modern technology? I find it rather sad that some elderly people are being denigrated because of the choices they make. If they’re happy living without mobile phones etc then that’s fine.
My parents, well into their 90’s flatly refused all offers to help, didn’t have broadband, smart TVs or phones, iPads etc yet managed pretty well until a few months before their deaths recently.
Their basic mobile phone sat in a drawer, was never used to my knowledge.
I must admit that dad lamenting he no longer had ‘his’ bank manger used to make me smile; he definitely struggled with the lack of personal services he’d had for most of his life.

I had a phone conversation with my mum today in which she mentioned that her phone might need replacing. She wants one like the one she has. I suggested to her that she won't be able to find one because phones have changed and moved on, just as cars have, and you can no longer buy a Model T Ford. She's not happy.

My dad in his mid 70s is like that too.
Retired bus driver , only technology he experienced in work was the old ticket machines. Has a very basic mobile for texting and phoning , but no data for Internet or anything. Has a stamp book for paying his water bills , and goes to the post office to pay rent . I tried to encourage direct debits in lockdown , but he wouldn't do it. Has never had a computer, and doesn't want to . He's happy as he is , and everything gets done , just not in the efficient technology based way.

It is unusual. My grandfather is 92 and whatsapped me a selfie from hospital the other day 😂 He thought he'd never be able to use an ipad but learned pretty easily to do a few basic things, and now he's away! Chatting to distant relatives on Facebook, watching YouTube videos on history and motorbikes etc. Its given him a new lease of life tbh. Could you really lay it on the table with them about needing it in an emergency? Or point out that they're probably not getting the cheapest deals on utilities etc because the best deals are online if they're motivated by money for example?

My in-laws are like this. It's like they totally resent tech and think they're making some kind of point by refusing to use it. My father in law had a heart attack (he's recovered) last October while they were out and they had left their phones in their car! They are a worry.

My Nan is 80 and uses her mobile, iPad, online banking, drives etc.

My grandma is 85 and has a very basic mobile that she turns on once a week and does a "test call" and that's it. Doesn't even take it out with her. The DVD player is too technical for her and she gave up driving a few years ago.

I think there are all sorts of factors to take into consideration when looking at whether the older generation can use up to date technology. My mum (mid 70s) learnt how to email when I started working overseas (quite a long time ago), this then led to a digital camera and being able to attach photos and send them. Since then, she's learnt how to use what she needs... which to be honest isn't much but she manages and does show an interest. Dad, on the other hand.... can barely use the microwave, has a mobile that he forgets to charge/use etc.... saying that though he dies have a kindle and can actually use the Echo I bought them a year or so ago.
I think when there are grandchildren around they tend to show more of an interest and are happy to be taught, otherwise gaining that knowledge and experience can be more difficult.

[quote MondeoFan]@Fairyliz no. My parents have never looked after my children or given me a deposit for a house or paid for my university.
They are early 70 and just not tech savvy. My mum has never worked and dad retired 5 years ago [/quote]
Ditto!! I could have written exactly this!

@Nc123

My parents are 71. They both live about a hundred miles away.

Mum loves her iPad, FaceTime and WhatsApp as they’re great for keeping in touch with our large and scattered family. In other ways though she is cautious about tech - won’t use a cash machine or online banking, or buy anything over the internet - which as she gets older I think could be problematic. My brother who lives abroad is her tech support and is good at persuading her to try new things.

My dad by contrast is completely the opposite - not helped by my stepmother who refused to have a toaster, microwave or answering machine in the 90s so the internet has had no chance with her! Dad has an email account (largely used for emailing his sister in America), will buy stuff on eBay but refuses to FaceTime or take any opportunity of tech bringing him closer to my kids. Not gonna lie, I feel sad about it. He is quite a distant figure to them.

I totally get what you mean about 'distance' especially after the 18 months we have had my parents have become extremely distanced from my daughter, their unwillingness to engage with any form of technology hasn't helped

DM is 70 and newly retired. She was Director of IT at her firm and she puts me to shame. She makes ME feel old fashioned!

PIL are very different though. MIL has no bank account at all, FIL refuses to have a debit card and will only withdraw money over the counter. They are early-mid 80s and this state of affairs is a wifework nightmare waiting to happen. Reading with interest, thanks for starting the thread OP.

@Neondisco

My parents are mid 60s and still working part time. So not sure they could get away with this. It sounds hard work op!

One thing I do wonder with people who are like this is how they survived in the world of work? I assume they didn't retire in the 90s? Would they not need to use tec like email at work?

I'm not sure they did survive in the world of work. My dad became quite senior in his fairly large organisation as he had been there years and years since it was a very small family-owned company, but absolutely refused to engage with technology. He used to ask for print outs of sales figures and check them that way. He would at least use a calculator. I did some work experience there after university and was sad to see that he'd been given an office out of the way, barely looked at the computer I don't think and was clearly just waiting to retire.

He was in hospital recently for a couple of weeks and wasn't allowed visitors. He was quite cut off really compared to my mum who is much more open to technology and does online banking & shopping, facebook, whatsapp, researching insurance etc. It's part confidence and part total refusal to engage: "What do I need that for?" then they moan that they can't do this, that or the other....

Weirdly, my dad likes tech in the car. I think we were the first family I knew who had a car that was fitted with a phone (pre mobile). When Carphone Warehouse actually meant carphone.