Does anyone else have really old fashioned parents?

[Spoldge45]

My mum & dad are both 71, so not that old, but honestly, I feel as tho they are in their mid-eighties. They dont seem to have embraced anything post 1995.

They still take their camera film to the shop to be developed
They don't use the internet/have never brought anything online.
They don't have mobile phones (even tho not using one has caused issues in the past like last year when my mum fell over whilst out walking, & she was badly injured but had no way of contacting anyone. so had to wait to be found by a passer-by)

I'm just curious to see if this is so rare or if others have parents in a similar situation, who just refuse to embrace any form of technology.

My uncle gave my mum a mobile, but she wont use it. We brought them a tablet a few Christmases ago & spent ages showing them how to use it, but it just gathers dust.

As they are getting older I feel technology could be really useful to them. I worry about my mum going out alone without a phone as she has some health problems & is very unsteady on her feet, but despite my best efforts she wont use a mobile.

Is anyone else in a similar situation & do you have any tips? Thanks x

I'm 63, DH is 80. He was using email and programming computers at work in the 70s (government.)

We got our first home computer in 1985 (an Amstrad CPC 464) and were straight on to learning BASIC and a bit of machine code - DH (45 at the time) programmed a draughts programme and other games, and various other stuff.

Soon after that we got an IBM clone pc and I configured a primitive fax-modem to access the internet via compuserve in the early 90s. I got an online bank account in 1990 (First Direct) and was making a weekly Tesco order when the service opened in 1995 ish.

Since then I've built all of our home computers from parts and maintain them all software/hardware wise.

My daughter and son-in-law (32) come to me when they need computer help. They're very savvy with their iPhones/Apple watches but to my eyes they just click icons and it works...

My generation was the one which BUILT computers, invented the internet and were the first to use mobile phones, so I goggle at all the MN posts talking as if anyone over about 50 is just so so slow and dim at using these wonderful new-fangled devices they seem to think only the young can master

My mum just turned 60 and she’s a total nightmare. She has an iPhone but doesn’t understand apps, how to update it etc. I often wait days for her to respond to a text and she will inexplicably not take her phone out with her or take it and then never look at it or answer my calls.

I think the technology resistance is pretty much explained by her rigid thinking and paranoia. She has recently got rid of her bank card and started using cash only so this is the level of tin foil hat crazy. Anything new (not just tech) is met with feigned shock and bafflement and then a stubborn ‘no’ response.

@Spoldge45

My mum & dad are both 71, so not that old, but honestly, I feel as tho they are in their mid-eighties. They dont seem to have embraced anything post 1995.

They still take their camera film to the shop to be developed
They don't use the internet/have never brought anything online.
They don't have mobile phones (even tho not using one has caused issues in the past like last year when my mum fell over whilst out walking, & she was badly injured but had no way of contacting anyone. so had to wait to be found by a passer-by)

I'm just curious to see if this is so rare or if others have parents in a similar situation, who just refuse to embrace any form of technology.

My uncle gave my mum a mobile, but she wont use it. We brought them a tablet a few Christmases ago & spent ages showing them how to use it, but it just gathers dust.

As they are getting older I feel technology could be really useful to them. I worry about my mum going out alone without a phone as she has some health problems & is very unsteady on her feet, but despite my best efforts she wont use a mobile.

Is anyone else in a similar situation & do you have any tips? Thanks x

FFS, it’s “bought”, not “brought”.

Oh yes my DPs are a similar age.

DMs not so bad- she can use WhatsApp and take and send digital photos (but mostly emails them!).

But they both still only watch live TV. She asked me recently if she could get a box which will record a whole series for her, in case she misses an episode/ so she doesn't have to stay in to watch it!!!!

She still uses a camera which confuses the DC's no end that you can't see the photo straight away!

DF can text one word answers but that's it. He doesn't email. Neither use social media. Neither use internet banking or buy online.

They don't have apps and have never used Uber, just eat, Amazon, eBay, iPlayer etc.

It was a big deal recently just getting DF to not use his bricks and mortar insurance agent and use a comparison site instead for his car insurance renewal. He was quite stunned that he saved over £100!

They would never Google the answer to something.

DM will insist she doesnt have a recipe for X food/cake the DC's want - she has now once got an online recipe after I suggested it.

My dad is like this. No internet, does everything in person, regards banking bill paying, no smartphone. Ironically he was the first person I knew in the 90s to get a mobile phone, he still has the same number, with a 7 added many years ago.

My mum isn’t too bad, she won’t have internet though.
My aunt and uncle have the old style Nokia phones, basic but can you used for texting and phoning.
Agree, we all survived before this technology so it’s not the end of the world if they really don’t want to embrace it.

....

Not read all the posts but, @Spoldge45 take a look at Lifeline tech or similar - simple alarms people can wear about their neck or person, so that if they fall they can press a button and help will be sent.

There is technology out there to help protect the techno-phobic elderly but you need to hunt for it a bit and some of it cN be pricey. Worth it though.

Wow some real ageism on here, but clearly that’s ok on MN
I expect some parents were too busy to learn about technology because they were looking after grandchildren, working to find children’s university/card/flat deposits/house deposits etc.

It's strange as my eldest brother who is late 70s orders shopping online and can use a Smartphone, he's pretty savvy tech wise. Im late 50s and very glad I learned to use a laptop and a smartphone. The online banking was valuable during the height of the Pandemic. I'd never have been able to keep contact with family without my phone. I did learn how to use the laptop at a free course run by my council. (Pre-Covid).For my smartphone I'm fortunate my adult children are tech savvy. They were very patient helping me learn the smartphone and have told me to ask for help with it when needed. Im really glad I learned as feel I would have been left behind and very isolated. You have to move with the times. Im not saying mistakes weren't made, but that is part of learning. Re scams, that is a bit more difficult but I ask my family if Im really not sure about a text or email.

My parents are 70 and 71 and very old fashioned in their minds. They dress very modern so look much younger than they are especially my Mum. Their house is very modern, not to my taste but very grey and white with lots of ornaments with diamonds on. Latest furniture. You get the gist. My sofa is currently 15 years old.

Where technology is concerned it's a no. They don't have wifi have a very basic phone each. My mum texts everything in CAPITALS as she doesn't know how to turn it off. No smart phones, iPads, internet etc. My dad goes to the bank once a week to check his balance. He does drive but my mum doesn't.
They still use their house phone to make and receive calls. My mum had to have some blood tests recently and she phoned the doctors and they said she needs to book it online. She said she can't. They said it's the only way. She called me to ask me to book it for her. Then couple weeks later I had to do same again. I booked their covid vaccine online too.

@Fairyliz no. My parents have never looked after my children or given me a deposit for a house or paid for my university.
They are early 70 and just not tech savvy. My mum has never worked and dad retired 5 years ago

In laws are late 70s and are brilliant. Fully embrace the latest tech.

Parents are late 80s and it's an entirely different matter. Dad is deaf and we suspect early dementia, so mum is having to do life afmin tasks that's she's never had to do before. Gave her an ipad a few months ago and despite an initial enthusiasm, she can barely turn it on.

They make a trip to the bank every week to pay bills, and withdraw cash (don't trust atms), which is arduous for them.

I think part of the reason is a fear of being scammed (understandable). They only started using direct debits about 5 years ago.

My parents are mid 60s and still working part time. So not sure they could get away with this. It sounds hard work op!

One thing I do wonder with people who are like this is how they survived in the world of work? I assume they didn't retire in the 90s? Would they not need to use tec like email at work?

Also my grandad is 87 and has a tablet and mobile with our family what's app. I often send pics or updates and him and my grandma do see them. Even if they do call it what's up 😂
They use amazon prime too.

So as pp's say its doable but I do think it is attitude. He was a miner from 14 (I know) so definitely didn't use tec in his work life.

My DP are similar (despite Dad working in technology when he was younger). Prior to lockdown they had very basic mobile phones that are switched off unless they were using them and although they had broadband internet they wouldn't use on-demand TV or shop online.

Dad is at extremely high risk from Covid so they started shielding before it was official policy and only started seeing anyone else once double vaccinated. They found their lack of understanding of technology made things even harder than it needed to be. We managed to talk them through setting up lots of things (internet shopping/catchup TV/Whatsapp video calling etc). They tell me that they felt scared of the technology as they were not sure how what could go wrong and were scared of accidentally running up a huge bill. We've set them up with a prepaid SIM on a smart phone so they know they won't overspend (although they are still wary and often ask me to check what they've used) and the plan is that once they feel safe enough for us to see them more frequently the DC will give them technology lessons!

Mine are the opposite. They’re well into their 70s and have iPads and phones. They do online ordering, download books for the Kindle, book flights and accommodation, use Messenger video to call us, do group chats, post pics of themselves out drinking coffee. I’m quite jealous of their lives 😂

My in laws are/were like that (we lost my FIL a few months ago)

No internet banking - would only deal face to face

No mobile phones - until we persuaded them at 80 that having one would be useful when out at medical apps

Very regimental with routine timings

Gosh I really miss my FIL , but he was stuck in the dark ages!

BIL is nearly 70 and has got a mobile phone for the first time this year.
He only uses it for calls.

I might not be completely tech savvy but I will have a go with uploading things in pdf and cropping photos etc but I couldn’t be without the internet or a few apps I use.

Just wish I was born 20+ years ago not 50+ years ago as I think technology makes life so much easier.

My mum is probably more tech literate than my younger sister but my dad, although he uses a laptop (mostly to buy shit off ebay that he "needs" but will never use) only grudgingly uses a mobile phone and goes about as far as calls and the odd sms.

I think it's very unusual too, though I do know someone younger like that, but they are a bit barking mad & think technology is there to tract their every move & spy on them

Thankfully my 85 yo DF as did my DM embrace technology & had no problems learning how to use it

My grandmother, who died 15years ago, had a mobile phone. They aren't exactly new!

My DM is only late sixties, but has eyesight issues. Technology helps her so much. My brother scans her knitting patterns and blows them up for her. Kindle books can have bigger text. Her Echo has a Spanish dictionary, to help with her Spanish classes. WhatsApp and Zoom keeps her in contact with her family all over the world.

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@Spoldge45 same here. My mother refuses to use a mobile and wont go near the Internet. She still writes cheques and goes to the Council Offices in person “to pay the rates”. She won’t accept an automatic prescription renewal and insists on getting a paper prescription from the GP. It’s extremely frustrating. She is ripe for the picking for any half decent scammer.[/quote]
She’s far less ripe than if she was using technology she doesn’t understand. I’ve got a smartphone and very rarely take it out.

My parents are in their 70s and have embraced all of this stuff. My dad still works, my mum still likes going out and enjoying life. My mum gets ideas from Instagram for her house, it's bright, fresh and modern.

My PIL on the other hand are the same age and like a pair of old dinosaurs. I do think of them being 20 years older than my own parents. Their house is really old fashioned (net curtains, ornaments of ladies in dresses and hideous dogs etc). They sit indoors all day watching repeats of things like 'On the Buses'. They go on holiday to places that are basically just Brits abroad. Never try new foods etc. My MIL has dressed like a little old lady since her 50s when I met her. They are just very old and set in their ways in their attitudes to everything. It's depressing TBH.

Mine are fine with technology but very odd with attitudes. They will never come to my house (or siblings) without an invitation. DM often drives past my house but would never pop in or even text beforehand to ask if it's suitable. She gives off a lot because dsis phones her around her dinner time on her way home from work, "who on earth would phone another person at dinner time!" so every time I phone I have to ask if the time is suitable 🤔. I could never call into their house without a prior appointment. They are very good in some ways but the dynamic has become so formal. They are only mid 60s but have morphed into Victorians.