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What did you do for Father's Day for your OH?

52 replies

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 21/06/2021 00:41

My original plans were very weather dependant and foiled by the forecast of heavy rain today. I didn't have anything else planned, but I thought we could just go out for a nice walk to the big park and playground nearby our house. On Friday I mentioned to my husband that I'd not made any lunch / dinner reservations because my original plan was to have us travel somewhere and we would have had food there, but since the weather was looking shit we likely wouldn't be able to do that, so I could either try and make a reservation somewhere locally or I could do a roast dinner (we never have roast dinners aside from holidays). He said we could do a roast dinner because we had some things in the freezer we could also use up like pigs in blankets, potatoes, etc. Yesterday we went to M&S and he chose a big organic chicken for today.

Then this morning I had the kids give him the couple gifts I got for him and their cards. He wanted to go to the gym, so he went and didn't get home for 2hrs which by then it was already late afternoon. I got myself and the kids ready and he had lunch and the. We walked down to the park and playground. Bumped into some friends and he sat on the grass with his friend while I took the kids to the playground. Then got home at 5:30 - much later than we originally planned (last night we both agreed we wanted to try and have dinner at 5) so I didn't get the chicken in the oven until 5:45. I got the rest of the dinner prepared - pigs in blankets, roast potatoes, green beans, asparagus, and homemade cauliflower cheese. Everyone including the kids enjoyed it and had seconds. (I was worried the kids would be so tired and hungry they'd act up but they gobbled it all up and had seconds). I was feeling positive about the day like it had gone well.

About half an hour ago I was trying to joke around with him and had a circular piece of plastic I was going to throw in the bin. I joked and said I got him a new ring for Fathers Day and he didn't look impressed. Then he let it out that he’s disappointed with his Father’s Day because I’ve not made it special enough and haven’t shown our appreciation for him enough today. He said he doesn't think he's been given the respect he deserves for being such a great dad and doing everything that he does. (He literally thinks he does more than any other dad in the world).

So now I feel shit. Not because I think he deserves more - he's a big fucking baby. But just because I was feeling ok about the day, but now I feel a sinking hollow feeling in my chest that just makes me want to hate myself.

Anyways, I just wanted to know what other people do for their husbands? Do you go all out? Above and beyond? Did I really make such a shitty effort? 😕

OP posts:
DonnatellaLyman · 21/06/2021 00:54

I worked all day, left the house at 7 and got home at half 10 leaving him with a toddler and a baby with gastroenteritis. I Deliveroo’d a McDonald’s breakfast and gave the presents the kids at made at nursery, a card and another present.

Your day sounds great OP, your husband sounds like a bit of a prick, sorry. Hope you enjoyed your roast, bet it was delicious.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 21/06/2021 00:58

He sure does sound like a bit of a prick. You did so much! I didn't do anything apart from remind the DC (but granted they are teenagers). I also drove when we went out for lunch so he could have a couple of beers. But that's it.

Out of curiosity what did he do for you for Mother's Day?

Mediumred · 21/06/2021 01:02

Christ, you are right, he is a big fucking baby and a great dad would be chuffed he’s had a lovely day with his kids and partner. Sounds like his day had everything, some pressies, a little time to himself, seeing a friend then a delicious meal! You sound great BTW, don’t let him pull you down, he is totally out of order.

I had booked lunch out but our DD is isolating due to a case at her school, she has mental health issues so I felt it would have been a bit mean to leave her. She made DP a card which he was chuffed about, I got him one from the dog too, I took the dog out for a couple of hours, I’d bought stuff for bacon sandwiches which he made for him and DD, when i got back he and I had Buck’s Fizz and coffee in the garden. I was working in the evening but I organised a takeaway for him and DD and he apparently watched the Wales game. He had a great day. No pressies, no huge fuss but he was happy.

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Auntienumber8 · 21/06/2021 01:05

DS bought DH his favourite chocolate, we had stir friend duck for dinner. We had a short walk and watched some tv. He spent about 2 hours with us, he didn’t have much time as has a deadline in two days so couldn’t take much time off. DS painted the garden fence while I did some pruning and tidied up the garden shed.

Your DH is rude and childish.

MinnieMountain · 21/06/2021 06:56

DH and I were away this year. DS has made him a card and I’ve bought some chocolates on DS’s behalf. He’ll get them when we arrive home today. Next Sunday DH is having a long bike ride, then we’ll have supper at Pizza Express.

Your DH does sound like he’s had a tantrum.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 21/06/2021 06:59

he is not your father, it is not up to you
he sounds spoiled

RattyMcgrew · 21/06/2021 07:03

How old are the kids? May be worth reminding him that he’s their dad, not yours. If they’re old enough to have any say on what they wanted to do on the day or buy as a gift, then you just facilitate.
I have one toddler. We got stuff for a nice breakfast, made a card, painted a mug and bought a gift voucher.
The only thing we did together was watch some tv and visit family for an hour Confused
I think your DH if being quite ungrateful.

justanotherneighinparadise · 21/06/2021 07:03

Cards, presents, favourite dinner 🤭

Melitza · 21/06/2021 07:07

Neither of my adult dc sent dh a card.
Dd messaged him and ds rang.
Dh was quite happy.
I took dh for a coffee and he watched football.
Quiet day.

Your dh sounds ridiculous.

RevolvingPivot · 21/06/2021 07:08

I sent him a card not seen him for 4 months

lemonsyellow · 21/06/2021 07:11

We didn’t do anything special. Not even a card. Father’s Day is not a thing for us.

KizzyWayfarer · 21/06/2021 07:13

Homemade cards from the kids, box of chocolate. Which is all we usually sort for each other for Mother’s / Father’s Day. Unfortunately this year due to wider family / bereavement / work issues, he had a crap day. But appreciated the cards and chocs.

otterbaby · 21/06/2021 07:16

Urgh, how annoying. What a baby. It sounds like a nice enough day to me!

I made breakfast and coffee while DH got an extra hour in bed. Then we went to a local farm with the baby. Tried a new pizza place for dinner. Gift wise, he got a card, a cheesy mug with DD's photo on and a book for them to read together. It was his first Father's Day so probably went a bit OTT.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 21/06/2021 07:17

I got up with the little ones. They brought him his presents and I brought him coffee and pastry for breakfast. I forgot to get him a card.
He went to to work and when he got home I made us an all day breakfast for dinner.
He’s very happy with his lot.
You husband sounds like a spoilt brat.

Out of interest, what did he do for Mother’s Day?

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 21/06/2021 07:18

Sausage bap for breakfast, card from DS made in school, went for a walk which is one of our favourite family activities, he also went for a run.
Had roast dinner with my cantankerous DF which is always fun, not.
DH admittedly has low expectations of me & these Days, but still, your DH over reacted I think.

ladyvimes · 21/06/2021 07:18

Made him breakfast and the kids gave him cards and a small present. We went to the pub for Sunday lunch. He was chuffed.

Yutes · 21/06/2021 07:18

...and did he pull out all the stops for Mother’s Day?
Plus, he wanted to go to the gym for 2 hours. That’s fine. But I think it is unreasonable to have everyone sitting waiting to fawn over him when he returns.

He received some gifts. Got some time to himself. Had a nice dinner cooked for him. It’s not a birthday. I’m not sure what more he could want?

Medievalist · 21/06/2021 07:20

Nothing - DH is my husband not my father.

ilovebagpuss · 21/06/2021 07:20

My DH usually has brekkie in bed like bacon sarnie but he had that Sat. DD’s gave him a card and a big Toblerone I bought.
That’s it he gardened I did house jobs nothing else. I cooked dinner but I do that mostly anyway.
I think it’s a bit ridiculous what some people expect probably social media again. I couldn’t be with someone so self absorbed and actually really unkind running your day and making you feel bad. He will probably do that to you the rest of your life ruin a good day at the end with a spiteful comment.

AdelindSchade · 21/06/2021 07:21

Dd took him breakfast in bed and a card and then we went for a walk on the beach and then to the supermarket. So fairly normal Sunday really apart from the breakfast in bed. This would be similar to mothers day for me.

ShinyGreenElephant · 21/06/2021 07:22

What a nobhead. I went for breakfast with my dad, visited my grandad then went to the park for a bit with my husband so he could play with the kids. Gave him chocolates and home made cards. Got my dad a nice bottle of whisky and my grandad socks. Job done. Your husband sounds like an absolute twat

ForkedIt · 21/06/2021 07:24

Got a card from the 2 year old and wrote in it that we would go for lunch at a place that he likes at some point.
For Mother’s Day he got me a card and a box of chocolates that he ate as I’ve been pregnant this year and have hyperemesis in my pregnancies. Grin
Not a big deal in our house.

I guess if he takes you to Paris for the weekend with use of his black American Express card every year he might have a point but even then he sounds like a dick.

thelegohooverer · 21/06/2021 07:26

Next year, get up early so you can head out and leave him to bond with his dc for the day.

Our special days run to a formula - breakfast (tea and toast) in bed with cards and gifts and hyper dc.

Lunch out or cooked by other adult, and dramatic declarations of “no no! I’ll make the coffee. You sit down! It’s fathers/Mother’s Day”

Otherwise we get on with the normal things that need doing every day regardless. It’s really just performance art for the sake of the kids.

I think you did great. Your dh needs to grow up.

Bagelsandbrie · 21/06/2021 07:36

He’s being an ungrateful idiot.

My dh got cards and chocolates/ sweets from the kids. That’s it! That’s all we ever do for fathers / Mother’s Day.

Makegoodchoices · 21/06/2021 07:41

Made him bacon and eggs with the DC for breakfast in bed. Gave presents and card (choc and beer, nothing extravagant). He took DS off for sport until lunch, then did some house jobs. He had a nap and I cooked a dinner he likes. Watched a (terrible) film with DC.