Are you friends with anyone famous/extremely wealthy and do you find it hard to stay friends with them?

[Bellasblankexpression]

This isn't a humble brag, it will probably come across like one though.

I have a good friend who is very well known. We met as kids then I moved back to my home country but we stayed in touch over the years/visited a lot as we got older and have stayed good friends.

I've always found the shiny famous side of his life bizarre, it's so far removed from who he actually is, and I can't take it seriously when I see him on TV or whatever, but it's never really affected our friendship before, maybe because I knew him way before all the famous stuff.

Lately though, I've finding myself feeling incredibly envious of everything he's got and how easy it all is for him - he can still zip about on a private jet etc because he has the money, Covid quarantine costs etc aren't an issue, his house is like some kind of epic luxury hotel so it was hard to stomach when he was a 'bit fed up' with lockdown.

He's a really nice guy, so he's not a twat with it and incredibly generous, but it's almost like I can't stomach his success now? I've always been proud and happy for him, but I recently lost a lot of work, I'm self employed, but managing to stay afloat just, keep having problems with DS being sent home from nursery due to temp and struggling to keep hold of the few contracts I've got because of it, feel like life is stressy chaos....we mainly chat nonsense on whatsapp, but when actual life/what have you been up to stuff comes up I'm finding it difficult to not be a bit of an arse to him.

DH is surprised it hasn't happened sooner but I'm just a bit sad because we've been friends for so long! It's never been an issue before but the pandemic seems to have brought out the green eyed monster in me.

I just wondered if anyone else has managed to maintain a long-standing friendship with someone who lives in a world that is polar opposite to theirs? I'm kind of thinking this might be the point where we just grow apart and it makes me really sad, especially since I'm the one causing it.

And the reason I've mentioned that he's famous and high profile is because it's relevant - his life is SO SO different to mine, like could not be more different.

When my DC were small both DH and I were out of work and really struggled to make ends meet over a period of a few years.

During this time I found it very difficult to be friends with lots of people due to the gap between our lifestyles and situations. I struggled with one woman particularly, she's not super wealthy but certainly comfortable. We'd get together with our DHs and DCs and I'd have a moan to her about being broke and she'd say stupid stuff like 'Oh I know, we've taken too many holidays this year, I really should cut down on spending' etc. At that stage, we couldn't afford a holiday, or any clothes, we were using credit cards to buy our supermarket shopping! I felt so resentful for her for not understanding me or listening to me properly.

Oddly the much wealthier friends we know didn't ever say anything insensitive! But I'd always feel very very envious of them when we went to stay at their house, and I felt self-conscious about our poverty, car, clothes, lack of holidays etc in comparison to them and others. I felt like the poor family at my DCs school and hated feeling that way.

Fortunately, those days are long gone, but now I'm comfortable financially, I try and be sensitive to others who don't have the same luxuries I'm able to enjoy. It's tough though, inequality breeds envy.

@headlock

Is it Lewis capaldi?

Ooh - that was going to be my guess!

I have a friend who is married to a very very rich and famous ish bloke. Well known business type.
They are lovely and it’s never been an issue. I sort of feel that his reflected glory bounces on us all as his friend! Proud to know them I guess.

Not me, but DH had a friend who is extremely wealthy. They were in a group of best friends since primary school so good friends for 25 years or so. He’s not famous but has a number of very successful businesses. He just turned into a complete asshole once he became rich - cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes and ripping people off. I think the power went to his head and he just became a total dick. Every time DH’s friend group would meet up he blew them off. Eventually they stopped trying with him because it became clear he had no more use for them and moves in different circles now. I could never stand the guy but DH insists that he was a good guy growing up and from a very nice, down to earth family.

I have a relatively new friend, we were just getting to know eachother before Covid but we have met up once recently.
She doesn’t know that I know her husband is a famous comedian/TV presenter - at least I don’t think she knows I know.
She has a different surname and not many people know he lives round here when he’s not in London but she has said he works in Televsion, his first name and the fact that he spends a lot of time in London.
I am not sure if/how I should tell her I know who he is or if I isn’t how to react when/if she does tell me. Should I go for
Never heard of him
Didn’t know he was your husband
I know but I didn’t want to say anything

I am actually quite a big fan of his but didn’t know he was her husband until we had met up a few times

If your friend is an actor then he is in a very fickle business. The competition must be extraordinary, the pressure to keep up, look a certain way, all of the stuff that goes on with the tabloid press. I think that is an industry that could make someone very insecure. I bet he really values your friendship.

My OH was close friends with someone very famous and very wealthy before their success. We were at each other’s weddings. I never liked this person much so we drifted apart . Said famous person tried to her back in touch when going through a hard time. We weren’t living in the same country any longer and it just faded out. They have met a few times years later but not for much in common now! I sometimes think I should have encouraged their friendship !!

I'm not rich or famous
But my best friend of 25 years recently told me she feels a gulf between us, and she feels she can't 'keep up' with me in terms of finances etc.
To put things in perspective I'm a nurse and a single parent to 2 DDs! So nowhere near loaded!!
Money is relative isn't it but can cause such rifts in friendships.

@Bellasblankexpression He sounds like a lovely friend, OP. I think you're just at different stages of life at the moment and so it's emphasising all the discrepancies. I imagine this will pass and if you're good friends then there will always be something to connect you.

Perhaps the American aspect makes it hard. I thought they might not be British based on what you said. British famous people get so much negative press and intrusion which embarrasses them that it never seems easy. It is less acceptable here to be very rich: something of people pulling you down, perhaps, and liking stars to be overtly unassuming.

In America, to be very wealthy and relaxed and able to do ordinary, slobbing out things that are just more comfortable, seems attainable. They have the good weather. We have damp drizzle , which no amount of fame can negate.

I bet its more normal for American stars to help friends - a different approach. Also, maybe easier, because of the bigger population, and bigger scale of everything, to make serious money, seemingly effortlessly.

As I said, we've known personally people worth between £10 - £100 million. It's not my idea of extremely wealthy; but it might be to some people?

There’s always one 😂😂

Actually I know someone else who is very wealthy and well known. It does amuse me because she comes across on SM etc as absolutely lovely and I have never read a critical comment about her. However I know she’s a head case and very unpleasant when it suits her, as a family member is closely entwined in her life.

I have a very wealthy friend and it surprises me how unjealous I am of her. Mostly because she is lovely and not at all flashy. But also because she has problems too, money doesn't make things perfect it just removes a number of worries. Big houses, private ed for kids, plush holidays....all nice, but I personally wouldn't swap. There are a number of aspects of my life that I prefer to her set up, so it makes me feel content with my lot (I am comfortably off, but compared to her have extremely little!)

That’s a very interesting point @Diverseopinions

He is a very good friend and I hope we stay friends, I’m definitely going to try and make my peace with my feelings and make the effort to see him if I can. I think the poster who said seeing him again in person will probably help a lot.

Fortunately the fame has never really gone to his head - apart from the fact he is now much more confident about picking up women, probably because he doesn’t actually have to do anything except stand there and breathe bit different to the scrawny nerdy boy I first met and had a crush on back in the day - so that’s never been an issue. As soon as he’s home or among friends he’s the same as always, so I’ve never felt lesser or like he looks down on me in that respect.

It’s all my own projecting I think, and a little bit of the Covid humdrums thrown in for good measure especially with the stresses I’ve got going on at the moment, not major but enough to wear you out!

There’s also the pathetic vanity of me that feels dumpy and tired and old after having DS and that I can’t possibly go visit him when he’s all shiny and surrounded by his shiny friends and work which again is ridiculous because he’ll be slobbing around in sweatpants, but I feel so far removed from that world! See, projecting all my insecurities!

@Bellasblankexpression

That's understandable. He brings a little glam in to your life and there's a thought lurking in there that you could have had more with him but chose a better (in your mind) option? And now it doesn't seem so much better?

Grass is definitely greener syndrome.

Sophie Turner was from humble background. She is now self made multi- millionaire. Yet, from her and her bestfriends's instagram accounts. She is still remain bestfriend with her childhood friends who are also from humble background like her. She is also very generous towards her childhood bestfriends. Luxury vacations, private jets, etc. Reading your post made me think of her childhood friends. Are they also jealous and resent her like you towards your friend?

I definitely think it’s just covid and the lockdowns - I have felt similar feelings whereas before I have been very happy with my life and unbothered by ultra wealthy friends. I just think this situation has done two things (1) our own lives are suddenly sucked of lots of joys that used to fill them up and (2) the ultra wealthy are having a better time (eg with family “business interests” in exotic locations while we are all completely stuck at home) and suddenly the comparison is a lot more stark and hard to take. I would just hold on to the friendship and try not to ponder it too much at the moment.

Envy is a very first world problem. Bothering about someone else's success is not going to improve your own or affect it, so should be easy to rationalise this feeling.

I think it’s different when you are genuinely friends with people because you are similar. When you are friends that have similar ways of thinking, shared childhoods or ideas. It could easily be you couldn’t it?

I am friends with some who are both rich and famous. Rich as in billionaire status and famous as in most of the world will know of them. One was a president. Four appear in the top 500 richest people (Sunday Times). One was once the leading sports person in their game. One appears as subject matter on this site from time to time. All came to me for professional help and all have become friends over time. Each is driven to continuously succeed and assist others. The money is a red herring.

The funniest moment was when one of these was on my lawn with their spouse and children and the postman striding up to a door did a double take, halted on the spot, jaw dropped, then said "Are you............ *?"

My brother and SIL both earn a lot and have inherited millions from her family too. While not famous, it is quite a divide from us to them - I don't work and husband earns a good but modest salary.

He is very generous but totally understands we can't reciprocate in the same way nor do all the things they'd like to do with us - holidays/big sporting events etc.
It doesnt feel any different to me but he is my brother, not a friend. I occasionally have a wry smile to myself when he tells me about a smaller than usual bonus but think everything is relative in our own worlds!

It's very hard. Babies take up so much exhausting time. Maybe just go primed to listen and to empathize. He probably welcomes having somebody caring to talk to about his experiences and feelings. It might be better than you fear, once you actually go there x

It sounds like he has it all except the one thing that he does want.

Don't forget the pandemic won't last forever (hopefully!) and you can go back to normal.

I'm not usually jealous, but there is a woman I went to school with who made loads of money doing forever living and bought a big house and land from it. She now considers herself a 'business coach'. I think it pisses me off more than anything haha

I used to be friends with a couple of people who have become very well known (one spectacularly so) and as their fame grew they completely shut down things like FB which is how we contacted each other. I know both their mums though, and I keep in touch through them.

One I knew through a mutual hobby, but he's moved to another part of the country and I don't see him at that any more. He's rarely at home anyway and is - covid permitting - often away for days at a time filming. We keep in touch by email about once a year or so.

Another will become a well-known face in a few weeks' time but I can't tell you about that.

@Smurfsarethefuture he definitely brings the glamour that’s for sure. I’ve not really had the what if feeling there’s never really been any of that, the crush was short lived and we’ve always been happily in friend territory ever since - DH has definitely got a man crush though!
I adore my DH and have been with him for donkeys years now and don’t have any regrets there.

I think it’s more that his lifestyle feels like an escape from life to me, even though it’s his every day, and it’s that I’m a bit envious of.

Plus I’m feeling very insecure about my appearance at the moment which is total vanity but makes the idea of hobnobbing with his work circle if I went to visit totally unappealing. Pizza and sweatpants in a hotel room, I could manage

That’s lovely @Twattergy and how I normally am, or have been all these years.

Cryptic @MustardRose I’m sure I’ll have an “aha!” Moment in a couple of weeks when it clicks

@Diverseopinions thank you. :)

@Heartofglass12345 yes you’re right. He’s happy with his lot but I think he does wish things had been different in some ways and that he had settled down and had children by now. I think I also find it a bit hard when we chat about what he’s been up to and he’s doing amazing work, and I’ve been… doing the washing, scraping a few hours of copywriting in, playing diggers with DS…