Are you friends with anyone famous/extremely wealthy and do you find it hard to stay friends with them?

[Bellasblankexpression]

This isn't a humble brag, it will probably come across like one though.

I have a good friend who is very well known. We met as kids then I moved back to my home country but we stayed in touch over the years/visited a lot as we got older and have stayed good friends.

I've always found the shiny famous side of his life bizarre, it's so far removed from who he actually is, and I can't take it seriously when I see him on TV or whatever, but it's never really affected our friendship before, maybe because I knew him way before all the famous stuff.

Lately though, I've finding myself feeling incredibly envious of everything he's got and how easy it all is for him - he can still zip about on a private jet etc because he has the money, Covid quarantine costs etc aren't an issue, his house is like some kind of epic luxury hotel so it was hard to stomach when he was a 'bit fed up' with lockdown.

He's a really nice guy, so he's not a twat with it and incredibly generous, but it's almost like I can't stomach his success now? I've always been proud and happy for him, but I recently lost a lot of work, I'm self employed, but managing to stay afloat just, keep having problems with DS being sent home from nursery due to temp and struggling to keep hold of the few contracts I've got because of it, feel like life is stressy chaos....we mainly chat nonsense on whatsapp, but when actual life/what have you been up to stuff comes up I'm finding it difficult to not be a bit of an arse to him.

DH is surprised it hasn't happened sooner but I'm just a bit sad because we've been friends for so long! It's never been an issue before but the pandemic seems to have brought out the green eyed monster in me.

I just wondered if anyone else has managed to maintain a long-standing friendship with someone who lives in a world that is polar opposite to theirs? I'm kind of thinking this might be the point where we just grow apart and it makes me really sad, especially since I'm the one causing it.

And the reason I've mentioned that he's famous and high profile is because it's relevant - his life is SO SO different to mine, like could not be more different.

It's just I always had the option of telling anyone to go fuck themselves anytime I wanted

Now that I do envy you (but not in a mean way).

One of my American relatives is in a very famous band, they’ve been famous for decades now and their success was pretty fast so he’s been a multi millionaire for most of that time and they still do stadium tours etc and release high grossing albums. He is quite discreet about what he’s worth though and doesn’t splash it around, still lives in the same city albeit in a very nice house, doesn’t do private planes (just first class lol). I would say though that it seems to have caused distance between him and his siblings who have not been so financially successful, and maybe from the rest of the family too- he doesn’t usually go to family events etc and people tend to be like “oh it’s because he’s famous”. He probably just has a very busy and interesting life though!

Oh that’s really sad @redlorryyellow my friend is very close to his family that’s one thing that’s stayed constant so I think he’s been lucky there

Mine is kind of the other way around: a colleague's wife is a famous Hollywood actress. I've seen her on the screen for years, then met her when I started my current job (which is not remotely related to showbiz!). We've become very friendly, and I've enjoyed getting to know the lovely, sweet person inside the glamorous woman on the movie billboards. Through her I've met some other stars, and once again know them as people (although less so).

@MynahBird this is how it’s always been really - because I knew him before the fame he’s always just been him. The other stuff has always been a kind of bemusing thing that comes with that.

So it shocked me when I started feeling envious etc as this has never been a thing between us

I feel a bit less like it since starting this thread as it’s made me see it’s more about me that him - he’s the same as he’s always been.

@newtb

Nearly 20 years ago dd was in a class at her independent primary with the daughter of a family who figured on the Times rich list. They were a national haulage firm.

The mother was really nice - she even had French manicure style acrylics on her toenails and her dd at 5 wore Burberry skirts. Which personally I thought was a complete waste of money given the speed at which 5 year olds grow out of their clothes. Anyway her cash, her choice.

There was another mother that told me about their wealth in an ott arse-licking way. Wasn't impressed.

Anyway some years later, sadly tragedy struck. The grand-daughter of the founder received a souped up mini Cooper for her 17th or 18th birthday. She didn't have the maturity or skill to handle it. After a night out with friends but not drunk she hit either a brick wall or a tree on a country lane between Hale and Knutsford known locally as the Tatton mile at speed. I've known people do 100mph down this road.

She died instantly, her heart-broken grandfather sold the business to Stobarts.

The family members that I knew were really nice and ordinary. It was other people's sycophantic attitude that got me.

Another mum gave a toy BMW to the school for a raffle prize, she was chosen by the head to be class rep and her dd bullied dd mercilessly. The school did nothing at all and this woman controlled all the others. She treated me as if I were a prostitute from the bus station in the centre of Manchester because I worked.

Another mother knew her school in Alderley Edge and it staked its reputation on teaching girls to be able to get out of a car without showing their knickers.

She's probably moved to Prestbury now...

My late cousin ran a venture capital company in the Caymans, heaven knows how much money he had. His dw in 1971 had the biggest solitaire I'd even seen. She went back to California and got a Californian divorce, probably cost him the gdp of a small country.
He was a complete slimeball. He sidled up to me at his df's funeral when he was old enough for sheltered housing. Apparently the night before he announced that he'd decided that, in future he wouldn't look at any 'girl' older than half his age. My df had him sussed and I think scared the shit out of him. He came and had a chat to me, didn't stay for long. I must have given the subconscious impression that he was a lazy sleazy entitled twat, albeit a rich one. He was spoilt rotten by his mother, brilliant but lazy. Got a 3rd in maths from Kings in the 60s as he spent all his time at Somerset House doing family tree research, and scraped into a job as a maths teacher at a minor public school. He then decided his DM should fund a second degree in medecine - he was probably thinking of a Harley St abortion clinic. She said no, he'd had 1 chance. He had a tantrum and left the country.

His little brother is wealthy having worked for the IMF and the Bank of England. Not particularly clever like his dm but a grafter. Got redundancy and full pension, skipped off to a city firm as a specialist, then its MD and now an emeritus professor at LSE. For 60 years he's been as jealous as hell of me, because as an innocent 6 year old I was shown his maths homework and as I liked numbers I read it, understood it and found it easy. Put myself right in the shit, it was only his bloody Cambridge preparation homework. I have absolutely no recollection. He told me about 2 years ago. I pissed myself laughing and told him I couldn't believe he'd borne a stupid grudge for such a long time.

Human beings are a funny lot, me included and I'm off my head on Tramadol due to sinus pain at the moment.

I was thinking this was a but nuts until I got to the end and it really made me laugh.

That was my reaction too @Polkadots2021 😂

I would hate to be famous. I value my privacy and anonymity so much that I genuinely feel sorry for anyone in the public eye.

And there is no amount of money that would be better than having dh and dc in my life (although if I could swop for a day now and then I wouldn’t say no). It must be terrible to have so much money that it creates a wedge between you and people you love.

There are many things that society tells me I should envy - beauty (it’s a much smoother passage to be plain), youth (I’d rather the self confidence that comes with age), talented dc (I’d rather my average dc who can enjoy a normal childhood), a bigger home (I like that everything happens around our kitchen table and I don’t need to pay strangers to keep it clean)

I’m aware I’m speaking from a place of immense privilege - we’re not worried about paying our bills or feeding our dc. Everyone has struggled with lockdown; not always in ways we can see.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t let it steal a friendship.

@thelegohooverer

I would hate to be famous. I value my privacy and anonymity so much that I genuinely feel sorry for anyone in the public eye.

And there is no amount of money that would be better than having dh and dc in my life (although if I could swop for a day now and then I wouldn’t say no). It must be terrible to have so much money that it creates a wedge between you and people you love.

There are many things that society tells me I should envy - beauty (it’s a much smoother passage to be plain), youth (I’d rather the self confidence that comes with age), talented dc (I’d rather my average dc who can enjoy a normal childhood), a bigger home (I like that everything happens around our kitchen table and I don’t need to pay strangers to keep it clean)

I’m aware I’m speaking from a place of immense privilege - we’re not worried about paying our bills or feeding our dc. Everyone has struggled with lockdown; not always in ways we can see.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t let it steal a friendship.

You speak sense!

@thelegohooverer I love your username and pp is right you speak wise words. I love this man, he’s been a constant throughout the whole of my adult life and a brilliant support to me and DH when we’ve needed it. And that’s what I need to remember

Can understand it though, Bella. I put a post on here months ago about dating someone very wealthy and known. I completely freaked out and got a good talking to from people on here about my own clear low self esteem. I’ve done a lot since then to work on that and it’s a good focus to have. It’s easy to overthink these things and be thrown by superficial stuff like money when as others have said that’s not what life is about. Your friend sounds as though he knows that. Mine did too but I was the one who was momentarily thrown.

@Bellasblankexpression I've not got any wealthy friends, but reading your post I thought it might help your relationship with him to keep in mind that there's a whole host of reasons why people might feel distanced from each other or misunderstood/jealous. Relationship difficulties/illness/unemployment/difficulties with children/disabilities etc all make us feel different from others who we think don't struggle like us. And perhaps he doesn't in some ways, but it doesn't mean you can't have a meaningful relationship with him. It sounds like his friendship is really important to you - sometimes just recognising what you find hard about the relationship can be enough to help you accept it and move past it.

@Smurfsarethefuture oh I didn’t see your thread! How’s it going with them are you still seeing them?

@sausagerole thank you :)

No, no contact at all since then strangely enough. Know him through work projects, very wealthy background and I kind of freaked out at the thought of something more happening. It really brought home to me how sidelined I’d let myself become in my own life - I just imagined this very gla and exciting side of his life with beautiful women, etc and how could I compete with that when that isn’t me at all (and I have experienced that glam side independently and chose to be someone different). I just needed to get back in line with the values that mattered to me a bit more and I haven’t actually thought about him much since then.

and I have experienced that glam side independently and chose to be someone different)

Thats come out wrong!!! I just meant I have travelled in some upmarket places too and I am a studious, quiet nerdy type not really glamorous or ‘exciting’.

@Smurfsarethefuture I know what you mean I got photographed with him twice over the years and his fans ripped me to pieces online as they thought I was his girlfriend and clearly wasn’t pretty or skinny enough!

@Smurfsarethefuture ah just seen your other post that’s a shame nothing came of it

I couldn’t be doing with any of that stuff. Privacy and anonymity, as someone said upthread, are priceless.

Agreed I wouldn’t be able to cope!

How are you feeling this morning, OP?

Any clearer?

@Smurfsarethefuture a little thank you for asking. I’m more focused on looking forward to seeing him and having a bit of a break as I haven’t been anywhere without DS since he was born apart from one day. I think, because of Covid it’s going to be even more low key than usual so we can just chill and catch up, so I feel relieved about that as well. Less chance of me being photographed with him as well which is a bonus as my confidence is shot after having DS - I lost a lot of weight through anxiety and although that sounds like the dream, it’s left my face looking haggard and old! I don’t think I could hack that now.

He’s booked the weekend travel for me and sorted all my tests etc so I’m leaving on Thursday this week, fingers crossed.

I’m looking forward to it but weirdly nervous as well.

I’m also a bit anxious about leaving DS but he’s going to be going to his grandparents who he adores, with DH, so DH will get to have a break as well as they will make a fuss of them both.

I’m only going for two nights as well, as then he has to start work properly, and I didn’t feel like I could do any longer away from DS

I hope you have a great time.

Hope you have a lovely time and it puts things back into perspective for you!

As I said, we've known personally people worth between £10 - £100 million. It's not my idea of extremely wealthy; but it might be to some people?

Oh, absolutely cringeing for you

(although, perhaps hypocritically, I can't imagine why anyone would consider French manicured acrylics to be 'really nice', much less French manicure acrylic toenails shivers)