Are you friends with anyone famous/extremely wealthy and do you find it hard to stay friends with them?

[Bellasblankexpression]

This isn't a humble brag, it will probably come across like one though.

I have a good friend who is very well known. We met as kids then I moved back to my home country but we stayed in touch over the years/visited a lot as we got older and have stayed good friends.

I've always found the shiny famous side of his life bizarre, it's so far removed from who he actually is, and I can't take it seriously when I see him on TV or whatever, but it's never really affected our friendship before, maybe because I knew him way before all the famous stuff.

Lately though, I've finding myself feeling incredibly envious of everything he's got and how easy it all is for him - he can still zip about on a private jet etc because he has the money, Covid quarantine costs etc aren't an issue, his house is like some kind of epic luxury hotel so it was hard to stomach when he was a 'bit fed up' with lockdown.

He's a really nice guy, so he's not a twat with it and incredibly generous, but it's almost like I can't stomach his success now? I've always been proud and happy for him, but I recently lost a lot of work, I'm self employed, but managing to stay afloat just, keep having problems with DS being sent home from nursery due to temp and struggling to keep hold of the few contracts I've got because of it, feel like life is stressy chaos....we mainly chat nonsense on whatsapp, but when actual life/what have you been up to stuff comes up I'm finding it difficult to not be a bit of an arse to him.

DH is surprised it hasn't happened sooner but I'm just a bit sad because we've been friends for so long! It's never been an issue before but the pandemic seems to have brought out the green eyed monster in me.

I just wondered if anyone else has managed to maintain a long-standing friendship with someone who lives in a world that is polar opposite to theirs? I'm kind of thinking this might be the point where we just grow apart and it makes me really sad, especially since I'm the one causing it.

And the reason I've mentioned that he's famous and high profile is because it's relevant - his life is SO SO different to mine, like could not be more different.

@Halliabaloo

Not had much luck with women, you say! Want to pm me his number?

@Diverseopinions no there are definitely a lot of things about it that aren’t easy. But you can’t deny there are other things that make life inherently more comfortable and easier with that kind of status and wealth.

I won’t go into too much detail but we met when I was 12 and our families also became friends so we all stayed in touch when we moved back, we were pen pals for a bit (seems very sweet now, I wonder if kids still do that kind of thing?!) and our families would visit each other for holidays. We ended up living near each other again when we were older (before he made it big) and became closer friends and that’s how it’s stayed.

[quote Bellasblankexpression]@Polkadots2021 aw thank you that’s such a lovely post.

@monkeytenniss yes he’s not showy at all, has stayed at our modest house before no problems, he’s a very normal guy when you know him. I think he would be really bothered by it if he knew I was feeling like this 😳[/quote]
He seems like a really nice guy then if he’d be bothered to see you upset about this. Maybe some distance and perspective is needed. Hopefully, it will all back to normal

No I am not friends or know anyone famous, the only well know person I see is our local MP around our town, he is very well known as he was a cabinet MP and appears on Question Time quite often, in fact he was on the programme last night.

I know it’s not easy but don’t be jealous of your famous friend, everyone’s life is different and we all make our own choices.

@BillyBearSpam

Is it Ed Sheeran??!! I don't know why, but that's what's screaming at me!

Anyway, I have a couple of friends who are married to millionaires, so not the mega rich but still "considerably richer than yowww" and I do get the green eyed monster regularly, even though we have a very comfortable life and live in a beautiful house in a beautiful place.

The grass isn't greener, even though it feels like it is.

First person that came to mind for me was Olly Murs!!

@Intercity225 I can't believe anyone would think being worth 100 mill would make someone extremely wealthy either.

Bunch of peasants on here.

One of my closest friends is, OP and another old friend became very wealthy through music. I was very close to him before he was successful and knew that he wanted more than friendship at the time but I didn't. I wasn't jealous of his success but did feel as though I could have achieved what he did and did feel frustrated that his line of work was so lucrative compared to mine. Confided something very personal though and I don't envy his grief. You don't know what is around teh corner for this man or what keeps him awake at night. I wonder if he values your friendship as it has history and is genuine and perhaps he is now in a world where everything is money orientated.

And if he wants children but hasn't yet then he doesn't really know how much his life will change when they come along and whether he wil be happy or not.

Yeah. My brother. It's not the money, actually, it's his lifestyle. To be honest we just don't really have much common ground. It's all very well saying they're still the same people etc.....but they're not. He's now lived his high-profile lifestyle for half his life- whereas I've spent half my life as a teacher. We really don't have that much in common any more. It's sort of the same with my other relatives, to be fair.

I think, even though he's lovely, he does believe he's special and better than us- which is is, really, and he has doily evidence of that because of other people's acclaim. It's quite difficult to find things to chat about at a BBQ in those circumstances!

I wonder if your family could give you insights and thoughts on how to look at this - as they know him too.

I do agree with you in one dimension - friendship is meant to be caring. If somebody has £ 50 - 100 million ( I think that was the range mentioned and you agreed) then they could lose £50,000, even £100,000 of it without batting an eyelid. So why wouldn't they - hypothetically do it? It's because of society's etiquette.

We know, it's unlikely that if a person were really struggling with the mortgage, that a really wealthy friend would give a substantial amount to them. And yet in real terms, it is almost not interested or not caring to never think of helping with money. But money is the big taboo.

If it wete a very rich sibling, we would expect a loan or a hand. And friends can be as important emotionally as family. I think that knowing that the taboo over money will mean a very wealthy friend won't ever share can sometimes cause a kind of resentment, as it seems bad taste to talk about your own financial bad luck, because on some warped level of what society dictates, you will be embarrassing the rich friend. But you would just be bring truthful. It's hard. You have to play a game.

So, I think your feeling is natural , as it does stymy the friendship as you are constrained from speaking openly and naturally about your life, as society would think or say you are hinting for a hand out and wealthy friend might back off from hardship talk in awkwardness.

It's hard.

I know how you feel to an extent. We have a couple of separate friends who came above the queen in the times rich list. They are very lovely, not flashy, humble …. They have worked hard but no harder and in similar fields but there was a huge element of luck and right time and place.

It’s not even really about the money, which probably doesn’t make sense with everything else I’ve said. If I had any trouble with anything he would be there immediately offering to help, I wouldn’t need to ask. I’ve never felt jealous of his wealth before, it’s almost been a source of bemusement for both of us, and I can’t take it seriously when I see him on TV or in something because it’s like a whole other person not the one
I know.

I think the posters who’ve said it’s more about me than him are right, I’m struggling a lot of with balancing career and baby and I’ve talked about that to him a lot - and he could be feeling slightly resentful about that towards me as he really wants a family. So I’ve probably been a bit tone deaf there as well.

I don’t know really. I don’t really know what I wanted from this thread either but there has been some great advice.

I think I need to work out my own struggles and the things that are getting me down then I won’t feel like the grass is greener so much - I’ve known him long enough to know the darker side of it all so I should know better.

I think I just need to embrace it like a PP has said, have my sulk, then get on with it and go visit and remind myself why we’ve stayed friends this long in the first place.

@OnlyMsLonely surely Olly Murs isn't worth over ten million 😬😀

I’m struggling a lot of with balancing career and baby and I’ve talked about that to him a lot - and he could be feeling slightly resentful about that towards me as he really wants a family.

He could be so envious of this esp if he wants a family and hasn't got one yet.

@Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons

I think lockdown has massively magnified the differences in people's lives & this is just an example of that.

Would it help to remind yourself that whilst he has had lots of money & space over the pandemic he hasn't had a family to share it with?

Same storm (very) different boats & all that jazz!

I would try to spend some time with him, you may find all the resentment melts away when face to face with another flawed human. Could you spend time as your family plus him so it's your special thing that is being shown as well as his?

I completely agree with this.

You're not awful Op, so don't beat yourself up.

@Smurfsarethefuture yeah, I’ve been so busy feeling envious and sulky that I hadn’t really thought about that, which is nice of me.

DH has suggested I go for a weekend alone and we can have a proper catch up if friend can get the time off, which is lovely of him, but I’m not sure I want to be away from DS at the moment as he’s having a rough time teething and keeps getting temps which is obviously dodgy at the moment due to isolation rules etc.

Maybe I’ll just wake up next week and feel better about it all and stop wallowing in ridiculous self pity

@paniniswapx3 thank you, I feel like I am!

I know the son of landed gentry. His fanily home has been passed down through many generations. Theres paintings of his ancestors around the 'house', if you can call it that. We've been riding (horse!) in the grounds of said 'house'. Think Downton Abbey set up. Hes currently in a job that he doesnt 'need' and hes playing at really until his Dad retires and he takes over the estate. The title will pass to him on his Dads death. I dont think hes particularly cash rich, but he is very, very wealthy.

Hes lovely. We've had him over to our modest house. Ive met his gf who is equally wealthy (from New York) and equally lovely. It doesnt really factor into our relationship tbh.

I do not normally follow celebs, etc on social media but for work reasons I started following someone famous and at times, I have to give myself a reality check as to some little things that are revealed. I don't envy the lifestyle but think when we go through difficult times it is really easy to see rich peoples' lives as uncomplicated. I wonder if the genuinely wealthy people feel they can't complain because they are supposed to have it all/recognise their privilege and can't share/reveal the extent of their loneliness/isolation/fears.

I’ve got a well known friend who earns a similar amount to me. We don’t talk about the showbiz part of their life often but it’s never got in the way of our friendship. I’ve got another friend who is incredibly wealthy (owns property in LA and NYC). It’s never got in the way of our friendship and she is probably my closest friend.

One of my younger siblings is extremely wealthy. Works for one of the tech giants in California. Owns 3 supercars, an enormous house in a gated community and will retire in 5 years with multi millions in the bank.

They’re a big fish in LA but when they come home to the UK they’re just my sibling, what they’ve got in the bank or their job is irrelevant.

If they’re behaving like a tosser they get told.

I’m thinking charming vet type.

Yes, I have a close personal friend who is one of the richest men in the uk. He is, I think, just approaching billionaire level. If not there already He is a business man.

But I like him and he me. We talk a lot, he has very very few friends, people are either scared of him or want something from him financially it upsets him.

Sometimes he tries to big himself up, which is endearing and amusing in equal measures. But I’ve known him a long time. Over two decades. He used to always say shania Twain’s “that don’t impress me much” reminded him of me.

I don’t know, it just works, we are friends. We text. We meet up a few times a year for Lunch or dinner or drinks , we talk on the phone, simply we are friends and his money, success, means very little to me. If anything he tries to impress me and I never try to impress him. I tend to raise an eye brow or snort with laughter when he gives it large. I react with empathy when someone asks him for money yet again and everyone else forgets his birthday..

It’s an odd relationship that makes many people raise an eyebrow, but it’s innocent and a genuine friendship. Our individual financial status is really irrelevant. But I’d be the first to understand why everyone is bemused by our relationship.

However I will be honest. If I call him and he’s in a meeting he walks out the meeting to take my call. When he walks out they stop the meeting, There is an element of power there that I quite enjoy. I shouldn’t. But I do.

I think your friend sounds like a lovely person Op! I would just enjoy having him as a friend and getting a little slice of the fairy tale!
If he is that rich though, does he offer to help financially? I find it so odd that the pocket change of the rich and famous could literally change the lives of so many ordinary people. A friend of mine killed them selves over 8k’s worth of debt, it’s crazy how a celeb wouldn’t even notice that!! But it’s all relative I suppose.

I’m good friends with one of the wealthiest people in the country and a few millionaires too. I’m used to it now though, I’m not jealous, I accept life has dealt us all different destiny’s. I just wish I could win the Euro Millions because money makes life a hell of a lot easier, there’s no denying that, or they all chipped in and gave me a few mil 🤞🏼🤣😂

@SandysMam

I think your friend sounds like a lovely person Op! I would just enjoy having him as a friend and getting a little slice of the fairy tale! If he is that rich though, does he offer to help financially? I find it so odd that the pocket change of the rich and famous could literally change the lives of so many ordinary people. A friend of mine killed them selves over 8k’s worth of debt, it’s crazy how a celeb wouldn’t even notice that!! But it’s all relative I suppose.

....because these people arent cash cows