Are you friends with anyone famous/extremely wealthy and do you find it hard to stay friends with them?

[Bellasblankexpression]

This isn't a humble brag, it will probably come across like one though.

I have a good friend who is very well known. We met as kids then I moved back to my home country but we stayed in touch over the years/visited a lot as we got older and have stayed good friends.

I've always found the shiny famous side of his life bizarre, it's so far removed from who he actually is, and I can't take it seriously when I see him on TV or whatever, but it's never really affected our friendship before, maybe because I knew him way before all the famous stuff.

Lately though, I've finding myself feeling incredibly envious of everything he's got and how easy it all is for him - he can still zip about on a private jet etc because he has the money, Covid quarantine costs etc aren't an issue, his house is like some kind of epic luxury hotel so it was hard to stomach when he was a 'bit fed up' with lockdown.

He's a really nice guy, so he's not a twat with it and incredibly generous, but it's almost like I can't stomach his success now? I've always been proud and happy for him, but I recently lost a lot of work, I'm self employed, but managing to stay afloat just, keep having problems with DS being sent home from nursery due to temp and struggling to keep hold of the few contracts I've got because of it, feel like life is stressy chaos....we mainly chat nonsense on whatsapp, but when actual life/what have you been up to stuff comes up I'm finding it difficult to not be a bit of an arse to him.

DH is surprised it hasn't happened sooner but I'm just a bit sad because we've been friends for so long! It's never been an issue before but the pandemic seems to have brought out the green eyed monster in me.

I just wondered if anyone else has managed to maintain a long-standing friendship with someone who lives in a world that is polar opposite to theirs? I'm kind of thinking this might be the point where we just grow apart and it makes me really sad, especially since I'm the one causing it.

And the reason I've mentioned that he's famous and high profile is because it's relevant - his life is SO SO different to mine, like could not be more different.

I think you know yourself, you are just going through a hard time and think his life seems nicer and simpler than yours right now. It just shows how NOT money orientated you are, the money has never bothered you before, but now things are very stressful, money could ease that stress for you so of course you are a bit envious. Small children, especially sick ones are a huge responsibility.

There were times when my son was very young when I thought prisoners had it easier than me, their life seemed so simple, I was hoping to get arrested by mistake just for one night sleep like them lucky prisoners... I really thought that!!

in summary, this is nothing to do with your friend, it’s to do with you, you are going through a bad patch and things are not easy. Don’t dream of losing the friendship, he is the one person who could probably help you, go for a break away, get some peace and enjoy a luxury day with your old friend and then when you come back to your real life, you will appreciate all the things he doesn’t have that you do, and NO WAY would you trade.

You just need a break, things are hard right now but won’t be forever. Your friend is the same as he always was and I hope you stay friends with him forever. All the best.

Not famous but extremely wealthy, yes. Quite a good friend, unfortunately died less than two years ago.

We had a good friendship. I suppose if my friend had been famous it might have been difficult, paparazzi etc, but that wasn't the case.

I was quite happy to be the 'poorer' of the two of us, never really gave it much thought.

@pinkhousesarebest a charming vet type?

He has offered to help with various things over the years but I’ve never taken him up on it as it’s never been about that. He has helped my parents previously, again without being asked, just heard about their difficulty through his folks and acted. He’s incredibly generous with gifts, and has set up something for DS which we are eternally grateful for, even though I think DH struggled with accepting it initially. Which is why I’m finding my own feelings so distasteful!

I know what you mean @Bluntness100 without being a dick, there is something lovely about knowing the true him when so many people who watch him think they know who he is.

My husband went to school with a very well known actor, they played rugby together, have stayed in touch constantly and we all meet when possible- we met his new girlfriend a few months ago who's just a massive bitch. He's lovely, very generous and a good person but so vain it's off putting. Not just about his looks but about his image- the character he's known for is buff and he's a bit of a poser in real life too. Not envious of his life- he may be rich and famous but he's had multiple stalkers, paparazzi in his garden and house and next to no privacy. It's difficult to be friends because he can't really go out in public and fame has definitely gone to his head.

@3luckystars has it, Op. Good advice there :)

We have a very close relative who has been in a relationship for about 15 years with a guy who is a multimillionaire...ie big birthday on Royal Yacht Brittania ,sadly he has not shown any interest in getting to know us whereas the relative has spent many holidays with his family...it’s fair to say that my children do resent that their close relative only has time to spend with her partners family! So yes it is bloody hurtful and I have tried really hard to paper the cracks over the years!

Hmm my friend who's quite well known (even has her own stalker!) is no different and I don't envy her success. Not sure how wealthy she is - she's making more money than her old job (which is how I knew her) but not millionaire lifestyle I don't think.

Does sound like it's your issue. He sounds like a good friend. He can't help being rich and successful and it also sounds like he has been generous to you. I don't really understand what you want. Money isn't everything and it sounds like there are elements to your life he could choose to be jealous of.

Friends with someone famous ish. Literally never even think about it. Kids occasionally do. That's about it.

@anotherday235 I don’t really know what I want either. I think I’m just being a brat.

@3luckystars thank you that’s lovely advice. DS Has been teething for what feels like forever and I know that’s not a huge deal but it’s affecting everything. Sleep, nursery, my work is taking a back seat because he keeps being sent home from nursery with a temp.. so I think you’re right in that I’m feeling a bit fed up and lost and weary and that’s why the comparison is suddenly creeping in.

One eye wateringly wealthy friend. He has made 100s of millions. It has never really affected our friendship but we became friends through a hobby when he was already wealthy. So I guess there isn't that sense of starting from the same place. And the hobby means that we have a level playing field most of the time when we hang out.
I don't really envy his wealth because I can see it hasn't made him happy. And actually is quite a burden in a lot of ways.

The only time it has grated slightly is when his suggestions would be to "just" do something/buy something, and he was oblivious to how out of reach that was.

I don't want his life. He is a lovely person but deeply unhappy and troubled. I think that makes the difference. Normally I feel sorry for him rather than the other way round!

It really is a different world for some people isn’t it.

Off to do the lottery..

Desperate to know who it is......please op, at least give us a clue!

Back to the issue, don’t feel too bad. I think most people in your situation would at times feel a bit envious.

Is it Lewis capaldi?

The only time I've resented a rich friend was when she went on and on about buying cheap white t-shirts.

I get why people who don't have a lot of money can't shop fair trade or whatever but if someone is rolling in it then I think it's shitty to buy cheap clothes at the expense of workers who no doubt have rubbish conditions and wages.

I'm not having a pop at ordinary people who shop at Primark, I'm talking about an uber wealthy woman.

Her money, her choice but it made me think a lot less of her.

My friend is a close friend with an extremely well known singer ie Britts and he is the most lovely ,unassuming guy ! He has never dismissed his school friends and has a house in the local town and they regularly go there for a jam and party....he really is a lovely guy.

No not Lewis Capaldi. He’s American and an actor. That’s all the vague info I’m
giving sorry!

I actually feel better for posting, I expected to be flamed so thanks for all your kindness and advice. I think I need to not lose sight of the person and while I’m feeling a bit run down and weary it’s very easy to feel envious about things.

@KeyboardWorriers

One eye wateringly wealthy friend. He has made 100s of millions. It has never really affected our friendship but we became friends through a hobby when he was already wealthy. So I guess there isn't that sense of starting from the same place. And the hobby means that we have a level playing field most of the time when we hang out. I don't really envy his wealth because I can see it hasn't made him happy. And actually is quite a burden in a lot of ways.

The only time it has grated slightly is when his suggestions would be to "just" do something/buy something, and he was oblivious to how out of reach that was.

I don't want his life. He is a lovely person but deeply unhappy and troubled. I think that makes the difference. Normally I feel sorry for him rather than the other way round!

Same with the person I know. Having been to a few family bbqs etc the family dynamics are shit. Diverces, resentment, the daughter (his sister) HATING her father. Ita awful and the family wealth has caused it all.

OP I reckon its just a phase you're going through. Maybe be a bit distant for a while, then when you remember why you're friends in the first place and that you miss him, pick up where you left off. It'll be good for your friendship I reckon.

I have a famous friend. We've been friends for over 30 years.
I'm really proud of him. His success. His ambition.
We speak almost daily and the wealth gap has never been a problem.
He stays at my house when he needs a break from it all .
We talk, watch films, listen to music and eat pizza.
We are the same people we were 30 years ago,when we are together.

I don't have any wealthy friends OP but can understand where you're coming from. I never used to be a jealous person but throughout lockdown I have a friend living in a country where they have had very little regulations for the last year. I did find myself becoming so jealous of her normal life and felt I had so little to contribute to our relationship throughout lockdown.

Your friendship sounds great. Try to ride ride this period out. Your baby will sleep again and you will feel back to yourself and glad to still have this friendship.

I am literally the poorest person I know.

I have semi-famous friendS and very wealthy friends.

I am a SP and have what would normally be considered an OK job, but I am literally poor compared to all my friends.

Still, I am very happy. I don't resent anyone their path in life, mine is just different and is what it is. I am still proud of myself when I make it through the month, feel content I have a roof over my head and my kids are happy. I also get invited to the most amazing parties and seem to be a very welcome party guest at al the fancy do's.

I think it all starts with you - the feelings you get about others definitely come from how you feel about yourself - annoyed that you haven't done something etc. But in saying that, I am convinced luck plays a larger role than is acknowledged. A lot of my friends have genuinely just had amazing luck - right place right time. Such is life...no one ever said it was all fair - you just crack on and deal with what is in front of you.

Mine's a slightly different example. A girl I was at school with, friends with even as we had very similar interests, has done very well with an academic career and then more recently got a nationally important job in the country where I grew up. While she's probably on a very very good salary with this, it's the element of "success" that brings out the green-eyed monster in me. I've let my career wander off the rails in various ways even though I was every bit as academically capable - or even more - than she was. But I wasn't focussed (interested in and good at too many things!), she was - her honours year project led to her PhD led to the research field that earned her a professorship young. I'm glad I don't still live in that country, because I'm not sure what the dynamic would be if we met up, she was always very good at talking herself up when we were younger. There were reasons we drifted apart at university, even when for a while we were studying in the same sub-department.

You know what makes it worse? I can't even turn it around and remind myself that well, yes, but you've got children who are doing fabulous things etc. Because she has 3 children (including twins!) just slightly older than mine, also doing fabulous things (my facebook is more or less reserved for keeping up with schoolfriends, that's how I know). I have to remind myself that her husband has probably put less priority on his career, and that at least one if not both sets of parents will have given them an awful lot of help.

I did have a weird realisation not long ago though. Both my children are personally known to (different) people who have worked with royalty in a professional capacity such that they would be known to senior royals. Puts "6 degrees of separation" in an interesting perspective!!

Having met a lot of rich families via work, I think people much more enjoy making money more than spending it. Being born into massive wealth can fuck up kids. Thank goodness mine won't need to worry about that 😂

£10 - £100 million. It's not my idea of extremely wealthy

Oh give over!

I know, what a dick