Not consenting to child in public photos at school

[redheadonatractor]

Hi,

When my child started school we ticked the box to say we do not consent to them being photographed for public use - ie on the school website and on promotional materials, leaflets and what have you. We did consent for them to be pictured for internal things (we had to choose one, both or none). So we're fine with child being on group photos for things like Tapestry and similar that are only seen by other parents, but not on the website or leaflets that are put out for the public. This is for safety reasons, but we didn't have to specify why.

Now since then (YR) I have been contacted twice by the school office to ask if my child can be used on a group photo for the website, with the picture sent to me. I have said no both times, we don't consent and that her face is clearly visible on the photos.

Now I've been contacted by the office again, saying that our child is starting to notice that she's being asked to step aside for photos and can we explain to her why. We can't explain to her why. She's five years old and the reason why would worry and scare her. I've explained to the school (just that, no further detail) and said that could they not just stand her at the end and then not get her in the picture or crop her off? They've said this isn't really possible. Apparently she's the only child in the school that doesn't have consent. They also take 'children at play' photos - I've said if they're doing that can they not distract DD with something else for a moment and take the photo without her in it?

I'm not sure where we go from here. Once child is older we will be able to explain more, but she has additional needs and resulting anxiety as it is. She also has 1-1 TA support at all times so surely it shouldn't be hard to distract her in the moment it takes to take a photo? It is a very well staffed, small class (ratio 1:5) so I really don't think I'm being unreasonable, but perhaps I am so I thought I'd see what other people think!

Sorry, that was a reply to @Bitofachinwag - app doesn't seem to have quoted properly!

I work in a school and the children absolutely notice. Many children as they get older request to be in photos and subsequently permissions from the parents have changed in line with the child’s wishes. Clearly that would be a worry for you as she gets older so you need talk to her now so she can begin to understand. It’s sad but it is necessary.

You just need to tell DD that you don't want her in photos that might go on the Internet. No need at the moment to give her any more explanation. If she points out that other people’s parents let them then just treat it as anything out that Other People's Parents allow - you are my DD and I make the decisions that I think are right for you, their parents make the decisions they think are right for their children.

If there is a safeguarding risk behind your decision then consider removing consent for all photographs, or for all except those of only DD that evidence her learning. Given that other parents might upload photos containing your DD, allowing one but not the other minimises the reasoning behind your decision.

@Oakmaiden

Do you actually have a specific reason why your child can't be in these photos, or is it just a generalised "stranger danger" type reason?

This

From personal experience I would say that kids notice and it seems fair to give them an age appropriate reason.

However the school is being RIDICULOUS.

@FelicityPike

Can they not just put a smiley face sticker thing over her face it the photo? That’s what our school does.

This is probably the easiest option and what is ask the school to do. I can think of at least two safety reason that a child couldn't be photographed that you wouldn't want to discuss with a 5 year old. DV that you'd fled or a foster child who would be endangered if her birth family knew where she was.

Just read your comment re blurring. Cropping her out or distracting her really isn't that onerous especially given she has 1-1 support. Who are you dealing with at the school in relation to this? If it's not the principal/head I'd be escalating this and asking why the school isn't able to meet your needs on a safeguarding issue. What you're asking for isn't unreasonable.

@Bitofachinwag we don't have any children at school whose parents refuse all photographs. They're all happy for them to feature in learning journals / in school displays / school photographer pics etc, which is why I encourage teachers to snap away. They all want a year book full of photos when they leave, so you can't have it all ways!

It's generally posting online or on social media which parents withdraw their kids from, which is fair enough.

If anyone withdrew all consents we'd obviously respect that, but it's never happened. We have a detailed photo consent form for parents to complete when they join us which covers lots of scenarios.

I'm in the same position as you and the school takes an extremely lax attitude to my request. Making out I'm a nuisance for stipulating it. There is good reason for not wanting my child in photos and they know exactly why!

Stick to your guns, tell your child that you don't want her to have a digital footprint. And leave it at that.

You aren't being unreasonable at all to not have photos up, bit I don't think it is unreasonable to expect you to have a conversation about why with your dc. If you don't talk about it you leave her to conclude the school are choosing to exclude her, and that is not in her beat interests.

When my dc were young I was in a job that involved contributing to parole reports and some threats to find and harm myself and my family. So I didn't have photos of myself or the dc on anything that linked to places to find us. I explained that to them as "some families have to be extra careful not to have photos on the Internet so they can be safe." Could that work for you?