Not consenting to child in public photos at school

[redheadonatractor]

Hi,

When my child started school we ticked the box to say we do not consent to them being photographed for public use - ie on the school website and on promotional materials, leaflets and what have you. We did consent for them to be pictured for internal things (we had to choose one, both or none). So we're fine with child being on group photos for things like Tapestry and similar that are only seen by other parents, but not on the website or leaflets that are put out for the public. This is for safety reasons, but we didn't have to specify why.

Now since then (YR) I have been contacted twice by the school office to ask if my child can be used on a group photo for the website, with the picture sent to me. I have said no both times, we don't consent and that her face is clearly visible on the photos.

Now I've been contacted by the office again, saying that our child is starting to notice that she's being asked to step aside for photos and can we explain to her why. We can't explain to her why. She's five years old and the reason why would worry and scare her. I've explained to the school (just that, no further detail) and said that could they not just stand her at the end and then not get her in the picture or crop her off? They've said this isn't really possible. Apparently she's the only child in the school that doesn't have consent. They also take 'children at play' photos - I've said if they're doing that can they not distract DD with something else for a moment and take the photo without her in it?

I'm not sure where we go from here. Once child is older we will be able to explain more, but she has additional needs and resulting anxiety as it is. She also has 1-1 TA support at all times so surely it shouldn't be hard to distract her in the moment it takes to take a photo? It is a very well staffed, small class (ratio 1:5) so I really don't think I'm being unreasonable, but perhaps I am so I thought I'd see what other people think!

It's just a really, really tiny school. Under 100 children in total across all year groups

My Dc went to a school around this size for a while (btw that is not really, really tiny ) and I was a governor, this was discussed when the school set up a facebook page and it was agreed that it as others have said that it was easy to take lots of photos and simply not use the ones with the affected children in on the website/social media.

There was always loads of photos up on the walls in the classrooms that included all the children. It sounds like your school isn't really making any effort to find a simple solution

You need to explain to your child why she can’t have her picture took no need for details. ‘ mummy has decided it’s better if you don’t get photos taken at school’

But she can have her photo taken at school and used internally its just that the OP quite rightly doesn't want these photos used online.

The school should be more than capable of finding some images of her classmates to use online and with a ratio of 1:5 plus having her own 1:1 it would be very easy for an adult to take images without her even noticing other children were being photographed.

I understand it is difficult, but you must not give in to this persistent questioning by the school. I think you need to talk to the Head Teacher and make it crystal clear why. Is it the LEA who should then be contacted about lack of safeguarding?

We choose not to have our photos on the internet can be an adequate reason. Yours is even greater.

My DD isn't allowed in school photos but knows why and as soon as she sees a camera in the classroom or on a school trip she steps out of the way and says why. It does make it easier that she knows why (adoption) and I think that actually reduced the stress on her, if she just kept being moved out of the way I think it would upset her.

I am aghast that the school are pressuring you on this. I am a teacher and its easily- very easily solved.
How dare they! I'm angry for you and your daughter.

I’d expect the school just not to take any public photos of the entire class if they can’t do it sensibly - how many photos does a school website need?! If it’s not advertising material but for parental consumption then they should have a password protected area of the website if they really must. But honestly I wish school would take considerably fewer photos of children and just get on with the activity. As a parent I don’t need to see regular pictures of a verbal child who can just tell me they were collecting and counting acorns or whatever. If you were in my kids class I’d happily join a mass withdrawal of consent if it stopped your child being unnecessarily singled out.

I am surprised that your child is the only one in the school who cannot be photographed - even in such a small school. Are there no other 'looked after', adopted or at risk children there?
Even if it is only your DD, the reasons for children not being permitted to be photographed are usually sensitive ones, and the school should be far more sensitive to their needs rather than seeing them as a nuisance.

This is your schools issue and not yours. Whether or not you have a good reason is beside the point as you have said no.

However, I find it hard to believe this is the first time this issue has come up for the school - surely they have strategies for working around it. Have their never been LAC children in your school who can't be published either? - Maybe a request to view the policy that supports this to see what their guidelines are would be useful - if they have no policy or guidelines then maybe the school needs to come up with some. Because they are clearly not managing the issue well at the moment.

Is this the very small school with ridiculously high ratios that’s also totally rubbish dealing with a persistent bully? Or are there just lots of these schools? Because if it’s the situation and school I’m thinking of I’d say they’re just a bit obstructive, crap and are doing a nice job of making you feel uncomfortable so you leave. I hope I’ve got you mixed up with someone else.

The school are wrong, you are right.

I taught an older child who had to be kept out of photos (and I think they knew why; I knew why), and they always just stepped out of the frame for a couple of seconds while I took the photo. It would have been difficult to make it so this child didn't notice as they were Y6. But with your child, it would be v v easy for them to take photos not including the child without the child noticing. They could just take a couple of photos of a group with the child that aren't going to be used on the website, and then a couple of photos of a different group without the child, for goodness' sake! Child is aware photos are being taken of them like everyone else, but doesn't know they aren't going to be used on the internet, problem solved.

School are being very off here. They should understand how important it is that some children are kept out of photographs. I'm sorry they're not being more understanding.

@Oakmaiden

Do you actually have a specific reason why your child can't be in these photos, or is it just a generalised "stranger danger" type reason?

It really doesn't matter.

I really don't know why schools take as many photos as they do. There's really no need for it.

@Deadleaf29

Is this the very small school with ridiculously high ratios that’s also totally rubbish dealing with a persistent bully? Or are there just lots of these schools? Because if it’s the situation and school I’m thinking of I’d say they’re just a bit obstructive, crap and are doing a nice job of making you feel uncomfortable so you leave. I hope I’ve got you mixed up with someone else.

No, this isn't me thankfully!

No, this isn't me thankfully!

Ok, I’m glad! Hopefully they can resolve this photo issue sensibly, it really shouldn’t be this kind of big deal.

I work in a nursery and we have had a handful of children over the years are who are not allowed their photographs used- not just on social media and the website but also on videos or photos posted to other children's learning files. It is difficult at times- the child in question is sometimes so excited to join in with an activity but because it's being filmed and photographed for another child's file, they have to be kept away. Distraction works sometimes of course but other times they'll be crying to go and join in, so it's hard not to feel sorry for them. (They do of course get to join in as soon as possible.)

Even so, we always follow parents wishes no matter what their reasons are.

The school are being deeply inappropriate OP. We have a child in my daughter’s class who is never in photos. It’s not difficult to achieve! Every time a photo is taken of the class engaged in an activity, the child is either facing away from the camera or just out of shot. There is no way he would feel ‘left out’ of photos. If your child is starting to feel left out, the teachers are not doing a god job of taking discreet photographs.
I also agree with a pp that schools take too many photos these days anyway.

I’m not sure I’d recommend the blurry or sticker face approach unless in an extreme circumstance. Even though the face will be hidden, if your child is the only one in the school with a sticker face, it will draw attention to the fact. Better that they just aren’t in the photo at all. It took me a while to realise that DD’s friend wasn’t in any photos, but it would have been obvious immediately if the school had chosen to hide his face with a sticker.

yanbu
and a good schools would work with you and not exclude your child.

School is being totally unreasonable - we have a similar situation in a small village school and a Head, with a bigger ego than he should have, who tries to bully parents into doing things his way.

We decline permission for external photos to feature our son as we are an adoptive family and it’s a safeguarding issue. School are very good re this. They don’t feature any whole class photos externally and what they do use are shots that don’t show faces. I’d address it through the safeguarding lead as it sounds like they need training!!! They are making it an issue for your child. Our school also announces ar plays, school performances etc that any parents who take photos must not post on social media etc. They should be proactive in protecting children’s confidentially not just reacting (badly) when they have a specific case. I can’t believe your child is the only one they’ve encountered! Maybe they are saying the same thing to the other parents who’ve not given permission. They need a photograph policy, as part of their safeguarding / confidentiality/data protection procedures

There is absolutely no reason why the school can't take a photo of your child in a group situation so she feels included BUT they would not be able to use that particular photo for public use. They probably take several of the same activity anyway; some would include her and others wouldn't. So the school is being ridiculous. They don't have to pointedly pull her out of line to take a photo. Tell them you will report them to Ofsted for bullying as you have repeatedly refused permission so they don't need to keep asking you to change your mind. If you were in a witness protection scheme, would they still ask!!!!

I guess it's just hard because she's the ONLY child in the class that can't feature on external photos. Even an emoji or blurred out face is still going to attract attention and children just want to be the same as their pals. I'm guessing it's an adoption/fostering issue but there must be an age appropriate way to explain to her. Also as pps have said, perhaps if school knew the reason they might be sympathetic to your request. I appreciate you may not want to tell them and they should just take your word for it but it might just help....

@FelicityPike

Can they not just put a smiley face sticker thing over her face it the photo? That’s what our school does.

Agree with this. There are several kids in my DCs school who are not allowed to be in photos, the school either cuts or blurrs them out, it’s really not hard.

I’d also be still trying to explain to my dd in terms she understands that it’s you who dosnt want her in the photos not the school.

Whilst you may not want to tell the school the reason why, it's probably the best way to get them to take it seriously, and would ensure they don't inadvertently put her at risk of outing on other ways.

You are also at the very start I'd a long stint within a very small school. Keeping on good terms and a decent relationship will make the next 7 years more bearable.

Interested how many posters are saying explain to your child in an age appropriate way. As an open adoptive mum of a child who understands a lot about birth family and reasons for leaving there’s no way id plant the seed in his head that he could be unsafe now if birth family knew through photos what school he went to / where he lived. School ask for permission and you’ve not given it. They need to manage the situation and lots of schools handle with no problems.

It's not an adoption/fostering issue. Adopted children generally these days are told they're adopted.

It's an issue that there is a person out there who is and will remain a danger to my child and I need to know that they don't know where they go to school.