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Original poster

Not consenting to child in public photos at school

160 replies

redheadonatractor · 11/06/2021 13:05

Hi,

When my child started school we ticked the box to say we do not consent to them being photographed for public use - ie on the school website and on promotional materials, leaflets and what have you. We did consent for them to be pictured for internal things (we had to choose one, both or none). So we're fine with child being on group photos for things like Tapestry and similar that are only seen by other parents, but not on the website or leaflets that are put out for the public. This is for safety reasons, but we didn't have to specify why.

Now since then (YR) I have been contacted twice by the school office to ask if my child can be used on a group photo for the website, with the picture sent to me. I have said no both times, we don't consent and that her face is clearly visible on the photos.

Now I've been contacted by the office again, saying that our child is starting to notice that she's being asked to step aside for photos and can we explain to her why. We can't explain to her why. She's five years old and the reason why would worry and scare her. I've explained to the school (just that, no further detail) and said that could they not just stand her at the end and then not get her in the picture or crop her off? They've said this isn't really possible. Apparently she's the only child in the school that doesn't have consent. They also take 'children at play' photos - I've said if they're doing that can they not distract DD with something else for a moment and take the photo without her in it?

I'm not sure where we go from here. Once child is older we will be able to explain more, but she has additional needs and resulting anxiety as it is. She also has 1-1 TA support at all times so surely it shouldn't be hard to distract her in the moment it takes to take a photo? It is a very well staffed, small class (ratio 1:5) so I really don't think I'm being unreasonable, but perhaps I am so I thought I'd see what other people think!

OP posts:

Marty13 · 11/06/2021 15:20

Well... The school is wrong to keep asking you as you made your wishes clear. But it's your job to explain to your child why, and the school doesn't have to faff around so she doesn't notice.

It would be nice if they went to the extra effort to remove your child from the photos sneakily, maybe. But they are not obliged to do so. Also it's a bit late now anyway as she has already noticed.

For what it's worth I also wouldn't consent - no safeguarding issues, I just don't approve of photos flying around the internet. And I wouldn't be impressed if the school kept asking. But I would tell my child why (in an age appropriate way obviously).

Staffy1 · 11/06/2021 15:23

If she has 1-1 it really shouldn't be a problem for them to distract her and not even have to ask her to stand aside. I would ask them to explain why this isn't possible unless the 1-1 is a bit lax as I suspect it was for my son.

GreenCrayon · 11/06/2021 15:23

Whilst you may not want to tell the school the reason why, it's probably the best way to get them to take it seriously, and would ensure they don't inadvertently put her at risk of outing on other ways.

Woah can we just please clarify this post. The OP absolutely doesn't need to do anything to get them to take it seriously.

If the school is not taking the request seriously already and there is the potential to put her at risk of being outed in any way then that is the schools failing and it is the school who should be held accountable.

The school doesn't need a detailed reason why she cannot have her photo shared online and a lack of reason should absolutely not adequately prevent them from safeguarding the children they care for.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Families General education

poppycat10 · 11/06/2021 15:26

To be honest if I knew there was someone out there who was a danger to my child I wouldn't allow any photos at all. I wouldn't trust parents not to share pics on social media and I wonder if it might be easier for the school to manage - ie no internal or external pictures.

You are right and the school is wrong OP.

MrsPsmalls · 11/06/2021 15:26

We had this with d's because of adoption. We did tell him though from when he came to us age 6. We just said because old mummy (and others) aren't allowed to know what school you go to at the moment.

Willowkins · 11/06/2021 15:32

I agree with you. Why anyone would want their child's face on the internet is beyond me. I took the view that it was a question of my children being too young to make informed consent and if I gave consent on their behalf it could never be taken back. I think it's rude of the school to keep pressing you but I would explain to a child along the lines of stranger danger.

Dddccc · 11/06/2021 15:43

Sorry but end of the day your child is getting upset over this and its down to you to explain it to her it does not have to be the truth, it is not fair that she is singled out and most class photos don't just take 2 mins takes a good 40 mins to sort them all out at that age, but they also should not be ringing you about it,

Looneytune253 · 11/06/2021 15:43

Most schools would just obscure the face of children that weren't allowed to be shared. I have no idea why they can't just do this and I'm stunned that your child is the only one.

Looneytune253 · 11/06/2021 15:47

Just seen your post about not blurring. I honestly can't see that as being a problem publicly because it is quite common in many schools to have a few obscured faces. I'm a childminder with one child that absolutely cannot be shown anywhere but I'm allowed to show the back of his head or with an emoji over the face.

Bitofachinwag · 11/06/2021 16:04

@mygee

I work in a nursery and we have had a handful of children over the years are who are not allowed their photographs used- not just on social media and the website but also on videos or photos posted to other children's learning files. It is difficult at times- the child in question is sometimes so excited to join in with an activity but because it's being filmed and photographed for another child's file, they have to be kept away. Distraction works sometimes of course but other times they'll be crying to go and join in, so it's hard not to feel sorry for them. (They do of course get to join in as soon as possible.)

Even so, we always follow parents wishes no matter what their reasons are.

Is it a legal requirement to take photos of children for their learning files?

ittakes2 · 11/06/2021 16:04

Its not such a big deal at our school - there are a few kids who are adopted and are not allowed in photos - everyone knows and even the other 5/6 year olds and the school just accomodates the kids. If you don't want your kids in photos you need to tell them. It's just not the photos - its the school plays etc too. When they are older I have no doubt some parent will take a sneaky play photo and add to facebook. No one needs to know why but if its important to you its better to be public knowledge rather than trying to achieve it by stealth.

trilbydoll · 11/06/2021 16:04

I don't consent for my dc and they know it's because once photos are on the Internet they are there forever and I don't feel they are old enough to consent to this. Obviously you have a far less trivial reason but maybe just making up something less scary would work?

JackieTheFart · 11/06/2021 16:05

Sorry but I think regardless of the reason why you have said no, it's up to you to tell your daughter why.

You don't have to give her chapter and verse, just that as her parents you have decided you don't want her in pictures. I don't think it's wrong for school to ask you to do this? They don't know what the reason is, and even if they did I'm sure you don't want them telling her.

Maybe they don't use blurring technology because there is reverse tech that can remove it.

lljkk · 11/06/2021 18:08

tbh, this reminds me of colleagues who have no social media profile.

One such colleague insists that he was advised to never let a picture of himself appear anywhere online by govt (MI5 or 6) because he has official top govt clearance. What really happens is his anonymity is bizarre. It brings to everyone's attention that he has no usual internet photo or profile. So then anyone would wonder... why not.

You'll have to think of something to tell your DD, OP.

Helenluvsrob · 11/06/2021 18:15

Is there a “ Megan and harry / baby Wilfred compromise “ where she can be the one with her back to the camera ?

GreenCrayon · 11/06/2021 18:23

What really happens is his anonymity is bizarre. It brings to everyone's attention that he has no usual internet photo or profile. So then anyone would wonder... why not.

But that's not what's happening with the OPs daughter. Her classmates would only become aware of it because it appears that the adults in the class are making such a huge deal of deliberately excluding her.

If the adults acted rationally and didn't make it into a problem then she and her classmates would be non the wiser that her image wasn't being used on the schools public pages. Afterall it's not like the OP is telling them they aren't allowed to take any pictures of her at all. The OP is just asking that the ones including her child are not shared in public.

cliffdiver · 11/06/2021 18:23

@redheadonatractor

It's not an adoption/fostering issue. Adopted children generally these days are told they're adopted.

It's an issue that there is a person out there who is and will remain a danger to my child and I need to know that they don't know where they go to school.

If you have serious safely concerns then I would suggest removing authority for Tapestry etc.

There is nothing stopping other parents sharing images with your child in on social media.

The safest option would be to remove all photo consent.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 11/06/2021 18:29

@KateTheEighth

The school just need to work round it and accept that your dd mustn't be in photos or not take any photos at all.

They are being appallingly naive.

Safeguarding isn't something you pause just so you can get a nice picture of the children picking flowers/making cakes or whatever

Exactly!!!!!

katy1213 · 11/06/2021 18:32

It does seem ridiculous for a school to be taking all these photos.

User135792468 · 11/06/2021 18:40

It’s YOUR child and YOU are the one insisting that she isn’t in them. For what it’s worth, and I do agree with you when it comes to consent and have picked the same options for my dc. However, if my dc were to ever notice or question it, then it is my responsibility to explain that to them. Stop expecting the school to parent your child!

drpet49 · 11/06/2021 18:42

* I agree with you. Why anyone would want their child's face on the internet is beyond me. I took the view that it was a question of my children being too young to make informed consent and if I gave consent on their behalf it could never be taken back. I think it's rude of the school to keep pressing you but I would explain to a child along the lines of stranger danger.*

^This. It is your duty to tell your child why.

motogogo · 11/06/2021 18:48

Yanbu to request she is not in photos but you do need to seek advice on an age and development appropriate way to talk to your dc about why they aren't allowed to be in them, schools can ask children to go elsewhere but obviously she's aware she's being excluded. You obviously have good reason but I'm sure there's an approach to start that process of telling her what the problem is

noscoobydoodle · 11/06/2021 18:49

Our school is a small school- less than 100 kids. There are a handful of kids in each class without photo consent. Some just don't ever appear in any photos ever. Some appear blurred out or smiley faced even on the secure learning platform. How many whole class photos can be needed? The photos from our school are usually just a few kids planting, drawing etc. The kids usually aren't even looking at the camera so it's obviously not a big deal.
Speak to the Head and if you aren't happy speak to the governers. A different situation but my DD was the first in school to have an allergy- I wasn't happy with the way her teacher/the school was dealing with it (making her sit on her own, leaving her out of activities etc) so I kicked off took it up with the Head and we worked out a solution. It was more effort than I would have liked but will hopefully benefit others in the future too!

DifficultBloodyWoman · 11/06/2021 18:57

Bloody hell, how many photos are they making public?

YANBU.

TBH, crap like this bugs the hell out of me. I would assume that someone at the school is annoyed that there is just one student without photo permissions and is trying to get you to change your mind by making this annoying for you.

And my response would probably be slightly unreasonable - I’d go to the school in person and speak to whomever keeps sending those emails and explain the DANGER there is to my child, the SAFEGUARDING issues and possible LEGAL consequences for the school and I’d do it all with as much DRAMA as possible (and I can be pretty fucking dramatic when I want to be). I’d make a massive deal about needing to protect DD rather than no photos being a precious, personal preference.

And I would also speak to DD’s teacher or whomever is usually taking the photos to suggest some distraction techniques in case she really is upset at being asked to step out of photos. Given that is so easy to manage, I expect someone in the school office is actually being a bit dramatic about all of this too.

LondonStone · 11/06/2021 18:58

The school is wrong to keep asking you for permission, I’d say no one final time and make it clear you don’t want to be asked again.

On the flip side, I think you can’t really get mad at the school if/when your daughter notices and becomes upset.

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