If you could start over again with your DC, what would you do differently?

[whereiscaroline]

Just mulling this over after a tricky day with DS.

I wish that I'd focused more on building his self esteem when he was small, without worrying that overpraising would make him big headed or arrogant.

I wish I'd sent him to Cubs and Scouts! He struggles with school due to ADHD and I think he would have got a lot from being part of something vocational.

Taught them to tidy up! I was too lenient and did it all because it was faster than trying to get a toddler to pick up 900 bricks or whatever.

If I'd put in that work, they might be tidier now they're teens!

Pick Dads for them who aren't complete idiots.

@FortunesFave

Taught them to tidy up! I was too lenient and did it all because it was faster than trying to get a toddler to pick up 900 bricks or whatever.

If I'd put in that work, they might be tidier now they're teens!

I had a long standoff with my toddler over this yesterday and wondered if it makes any difference later in life.

@FortunesFave

Taught them to tidy up! I was too lenient and did it all because it was faster than trying to get a toddler to pick up 900 bricks or whatever.

If I'd put in that work, they might be tidier now they're teens!

Would they, though?

Somehow trained my DS to self settle to sleep from a young age. It's becoming a battle now. It was just so hard with a 14m older sibling when they shared a room and I did most of it on my own.

I would have home educated from the beginning (started at ages 7/8).

100% wish I'd put parent controls over all technology and internet access.

No iPad until older. YouTube suggesting a video on cannibalism to 10yr old DD should've been a wake up call to update my tech know-how, but wasn't. Took another two years 🤦🏻‍♀️

I feel like I've allowed all the crazy people on the internet into my living room to persuade my DD to engage in similar craziness. Some of it feels like it crosses into grooming.

Probably asked them to do more for themselves earlier. It's not a problem now, just I could have saved myself a lot of work if I'd allowed them to be more self sufficient and also to do things for me!

In the last few years DH has often started to ask the kids to fetch him something, like a drink of orange juice if they're in the kitchen, and at first I got annoyed at him for not doing things himself, then I realised actually I could and should ask to, so I'm spending less time doing that sort of thing and asking the kids more.

Phones out of rooms overnight right from the start. Impossible to go back now. :-(

Just been more patient... I wish I could start all over again with her 😪

@Echobelly just curious as to why u would get annoyed at DH for asking the kids to fetch something? I ask because I sometimes feel that way, or at leases used to, when my partner would ask my daughter to put his glass on the table once he’d finished drinking his water or whatever. I converted to the opinion it’s actually pleasant for children to do things for us parents after everything we do for them. I hope when I’m old and grey I can count on them to make me tea and look after me when I’m ill x

I wish I'd been easier going about food and just given them whatever we were eating, and not panicked when they wouldn't eat. Instead I spent hours making special uber healthy meals for them and somehow ended up cooking different meals for each child. It's been a long battle to try and come back from that.

I also wish I hadn't hissed 'that person is watching you' whenever they started to misbehave as my eldest is now very paranoid about what people think of him 😩

I would not introduce fruit or sweet stuff until I had gone through every vegetable choice with them for meals etc. Not that they are bad but their vegetable choices that they actually love are very limited but they will eat the veg on their plate but not huge amounts. Just everything more savoury like natural yoghurt rather than a bought fruit yoghurt.

I wish I had videoed more stuff rather than just photos but back then it was a camcorder job rather than the phone and the phone camera capability was terrible but at least I have it.

Technology. We're a very techy household but I wish I'd never let mine anywhere near it. I'm trying to rein it in now but I fear it's too late

More discipline.
I feel my pre-teens walk all over me and I'm not afforded any respect whatsoever.

This is going to be such a useful thread, I'm already taking notes! Thank you OP.

Bought them up vegan

@Spied

More discipline. I feel my pre-teens walk all over me and I'm not afforded any respect whatsoever.

Same with my pre-teen

I would - things too numerous to mention - but hindsight is a wonderful thing, as they say.

Encouraged them to continue with hobbies that they gave up in their early teens.

Picked a better dad.

I just really wish I’d somehow managed to breastfeed. It’s such a source of sadness.

Teach them to tidy up is a good one but at the time I had good reason nor too.
Anyway I'm starting again now they are older and I have the time (and energy) to do it.

I wish I hadn't struggled to breastfeed my son. It made both of us happier when I switched to the bottle.

no phones.

Just been that batshit parent who said no, and kept saying no, and who gave them a brick phone aged 11 and refused to buy any other.

Instead they had smartphones as they went to secondary, (not new though) and I have struggled with online/screen time ever since.

I seriously think that if I had held out for longer, and then had tighter controls, it owuld have benefitted all 3 of them.

As it is the phones have always had to be downstairs overnight, but that wasn't enough and it also meant they pushed bedtime evry single night