If you are mid 50s, how do you feel about things?

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It can be anything, health, wealth, family, the future....

So interesting to hear everyone's stories

@Fiffy50: have you spoken to a debt charity like Stepchange about your debt? May be worthwhile.

Really interesting thread. In particular I'm noticing the combination of health or physical issues, combined with job or money issues. It's a tough ti me for so many, but also delightful to read about people finding contentment

Just starting the menopause and its very up and down.

Personally I am using my voice and wont be a doormat/nice any more! I have been thinking all my life but now I speak what I think and stand up for myself, expect high standards which leads to getting a lot more respect! Thank god!! Would highly recommend it!

Financially i have good pension & isas. Did many courses but lost confidence and treated poorly by a few employers after kids! They were crap managers/communicators but took it to heart! Starred own business which did very well.

Have 2 clever girls who i hope have given confidence and strength to and will be feminists/equal its so.

Husband decent but i have to regularly remind him how lucky he is and demand respect!!

Lost a lot of couple friends during covid so at 50+ need to make new friends!!

Mum happy & healthy after years of dodgy relationships!

Selfish In laws sucking money out of us after years of bad business decisions. Other favourite sibling gets worse with every year.

On balance very lucky in life! Phew x

I don't put up with any now !

I wish that I had the energy that I had when I was 20, but I am ok

I was going to write a long reply

The summary, is that I am happy with a lot to be thankful for

Should read - Any now !

Predictive text

Any nonsense now ! (4 letter word)

55 next weekend funny one for me, I have great days when I simply just enjoy my hobbies and things, others are hard dh being a dick, we both have health issues, crippled with arthritis now, but I can read normally again, nose on page, and no fogginess either, so I’m happy with that. I’ve also stopped caring what society thinks I live in jeans and t shirts. I’ve ditched toxic family did that 15 years ago, best thing I ever did. Both crap parents dead so no guilt there either. So yes hard few weeks but feeling much happier this week, birthday is planned small treats but their mine and that’s it for once I’m being bloody selfish. I’ve picked my own presents from dh.

A bit... odd.

I felt an odd sense of purpose after my husband died, like I had something to get through, to survive. I gave myself permission to do all sorts of things. Lots of new experiences. Bonding in a new way with ds.

Now I'm sort of back to 'normal'. Only I'm not. I changed forever. I'm older. Hormonal storms are still happening, nothing too bad but they do affect me. I anticipate death, a lot, hope it's not too far off.

I'm in my mid-50s. All of my friends live in bigger houses than me, seem to have loads of money and I'm just about getting by. I count my blessings though because I have a very patient and wonderful husband (I don't know why he puts up with me!) and my children are healthy and kind people. I've recently taken up painting as I used to be good at Art at school and it takes me out of myself. My dream is to be mortgage free as I hate being tied to such a high payment (we only bought our house ten years ago) My house is small and I crave space. Recently we've been talking of selling up and moving to the south coast. I'd love to do it but my son is still at secondary school and it would be a big jolt for him if we moved.

Feeling pretty good.
Recently met up with a lovely ex. Rapidly worked out I need help for sexy times. Went to GP for first time in 10 years and got HRT.

DD1 got married this year and has mentioned a plan for ttc. Exciting!
DD2 is struggling with diagnosed ASD. She is getting help.
I love my job but too few hours. Started job searching tonight.
Booked a hotel for 1 night in a town I have been thinking of moving to.
10 years out of an abusive relationship and gaining confidence.
Still renting. Can't see that changing.
Have paid off debts from divorce.

No savings but that could change.
Very content with much to look forward to.
Oh and since I contacted ex, he makes me smile and laugh so much that the wobbly slack skin under my chin and jaw has firmed up and I look better than I did for last few years

I'm 61 but mid fifties was not long ago really. I'm not much different now to how I was then except for working part time since I reached 60 and was widowed, worked full time for several years before that.

I enjoyed my fifties, was fit and well, had a lot of confidence. It was a good time, lots of fun and very interesting work. I looked good too, just stating a fact, not boasting. I reached the menopause at 51.5 and the peri menopause was easy enough but I was busy so didn't have much time to dwell on it.

My children were young adults by the time I was mid fifties so it was a time where I could live my own life more easily, husband too. We could go away for a few days on our own when we felt like it, from our late forties.

Each phase of life has its blessings.

When I was young married woman with children we were very hard up, I would not want to revisit that time apart from the nice, fun things with kids. Things were generally far better in middle age.

Really interesting thread and for those who are struggling.

I have found m anxiety improved over time. At 47 it was awful, anxiety, palpitations terrible flushes all night. It’s still get flushes and I still hate them but I am not so anxious and I’m sort of getting to the don’t give a shit phase after years of serious people pleasing.

DH and I have had ups and downs, nothing serious but we still seem to have a bond so I am starting to look forward to some more time together.

Same here and I live in London and feel a fish out of water. No friends around and difficulties meeting people I like. Anyone know of 50plus meeting groups in the Highgate, Crouch End, Muswell hill areas?

Have you listened to Sam Baker's podcast The Shift? I think you'd enjoy it OP. I'm only 39 but I'm enjoying listening to women's experiences of their 40s, 50s and beyond. It's making me really look forward to the next chapter

All good here. I wouldn’t want to be young in today’s mad world.

I'm 51. The last few years have been really tough, as I lost my Mum, my brother, a much loved Uncle and a close friend, all in the space of 2.5 years. I had to write and read the eulogy for all of them, which was a privilege but heartbreaking. DH also lost his Dad during that time & I was diagnosed with early breast cancer. Some days were very dark and many times DH just quietly picked me up and carried me. I didn't think I could love him more, but turns out I can...

That's thankfully behind us now and life has been really good. We've always been financially comfortable but DH's company landed some huge contracts last year which means we'll never have to worry about money again. Mortgage paid off and we bought another house to refurbish and will make a big profit on that when it sells. With the money from that + the money DH inherits we are buying a cottage in Cornwall as a holiday home/rental which has always been a pipedream but is now very real.

DD got AAB yesterday and is off to her first choice art school. Other DD doing brilliantly in sixth form. We have a great circle of friends. Lovely home. I lost a stone and then treated myself to a tummy tuck recently. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

But, just when life was going smoothly we lost DH's Mum, very unexpectedly at the weekend. I can't profess to be grieving personally, as we were not close. But watching DH and DD's very raw grief is heartbreaking.

It’s so interesting to read experiences of everyone’s 50s.

I am 51 and just picking myself up again after leaving abusive marriage 2 years ago. Taking much longer than I thought to recover, not sure why.

Have lovely new home, which I adore, and teen DCs have coped well with the split. DS has MH issues but I know without doubt I have saved him and his future by leaving.

Debt is a big worry- massive mortgage until I’m 67 plus debt from setting up new home. But career going well and on track to repay.

Health, gained a lot of weight during Covid and now aiming to lose it. Joined running club and gym.

Overall, trying to see 51-55 as recovery time - emotionally, financially, physically, Reckon I’ll be in better shape by 55 ( and inspired by some of the stories on here).

50 next year and decided to split with DH of 25 years. Expecting to be v lonely. But better lonely than a drudge.

On a scale of 1 - 10 of happiness I'd say I was an 8.5. Possibly the most happiest I've ever been.

I had children very young so they are both 25+ and happy. I'd done the divorce and come out the other side happier. Been lucky enough to have always loved my career, well paid so not worries financially. Good pension. Great friends. Wonderful man of 3 years.

Lost my mum to Covid last year but she had reached the stage of incontinence with Dementia and she would never have wanted to live like that, so her passing was a blessing in disguise.

Menopause happened in the blink of an eye. Still suffer with anxiety although it's more manageable now than its ever been (completely dominated my 20's). I have 2 autoimmune conditions - one of which is life limiting - but we all have to die right?

I'm sorry some of you are having such a shit time and I really hope things will improve

Babaghanoush it can be lonely but not nearly as lonely as in an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage. That is a whole different level of lonely.

And if you are a drudge as well then it’s a no brainer. Even on my worst days, I know that this is better.

Good luck.

Well Brexit and Covid have certainly got in the way of a lot of our plans, but generally I am feeling really positive at the moment after a grim start to the year. I was made redundant in 2020 after a long time with previous company but luckily found a better job straight away - so redundancy money has just gone into savings. I love being able to work at home though there is talk we might have to go back to office at least part time soonish. Brexit means I have applied for dual nationality which should hopefully be sorted in a few months. Dd will start her last year of school. She has written off going back to UK for Uni, and is looking at various European options. My company has offices in different countries so if I get my EU passport may well consider moving country. But we have a really good group of friends here and now covid restrictions have lifted a bit, it's great to get back to cocktails with the girls etc. We have an EU covid pass so were able to spend a few weeks in Italy last month. It's definitely lifted my spirits. Too many deaths of friends and family this year.

@Walkingwounded I agree. However I will also have an empty nest as DC will be away at uni. I was hoping to spend my 50s travelling with DH and doing fun things, but things just haven't worked out, and the pandemic has been the last straw. Thank you for the kind words.

I'm 53, very overweight which I need to address, feeling achey, anxious at times and struggle with a bad back.
I feel life is still more hectic than it should be, 4 teenagers/ young adults at home that create a lot of work around the house and don't really do their share because they are out all hours working and partying.
I love my job but home working is taking it's toll and work is so busy< I find it hard to switch off on my days off and because of home working it's too easy to end up doing extra work. It's poorly paid and really I only do it to make a difference to the clients. I feel really disillusioned with my employers and the crap we put up with. I probably need a career change but at the moment my current job is easy to do and safe working from home.

54 here - I feel ok - mostly.
DH & I tick along nicely, DD doing well at school and DS going into upper 6th without a clue what he wants to do. Does as little as he can get away with and I'm getting quite anxious about what the future holds for him. I just want him to do something that makes him happy - but he does need to do something!.

No money worries really. My job is OK and I've just had a promotion. We have a good social life with some lovely friends.

I worry about cancer coming back and spend sleepless nights worrying about DDs health condition but that will never change.