Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DH told neighbours off for playing Phil Collins

166 replies

AtotheZ · 09/06/2021 13:51

Both DH and I are working at home. Terraced house. Next door neighbours are fairly noisy. We are both very stressed at the moment as our autistic child has a serious ongoing health crisis and we're waiting for some important news.

I've thought for a long time now that DH is also on the Autistic Spectrum (as well as his child, his sibling and nieces are diagnosed with ASD). He has sensory issues to do with noise, and he is very, very particular about music. Music snob level. He gets visibly very disturbed if music he hates is played.

This lunchtime our neighbours were playing Phil Collins very, very loudly. It went on for a long time. We could hear it very clearly and loudly even with our back door closed. DH popped his head out of the back door and shouted: "whoever is playing Phil Collins, turn it OFF. And get some musical taste".

I am mortified. Phil Collins ceased immediately, but there was then some very loud and angry sounding discussion between the Syrian couple next door in Arabic or Farsi.

DH has never done anything like that before, but has had a go at the same neighbours because their kids were repeatedly throwing balls into our garden and back off our house.

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect. I was thinking of asking him later to apologise, or apologising myself. Advice please?

OP posts:
Original poster
AtotheZ · 09/06/2021 15:13

@Beefcurtains79 he doesn’t love Green Day, but I’m not aware of him hating it. He mostly doesn’t have a problem with most music.

As I said, the relevance here is that we are very stressed currently with an urgent health crisis. While I agree DH acted like a cock/arse/dick here, that doesn’t mean he is one.

OP posts:
KevinTheGoat · 09/06/2021 15:13

@QueenAdreena

I hate Phil Collins, and probably would have done the same. I’m of the opinion that if a neighbour is playing their music loud enough for other people to hear, then they’re inviting others opinions on it, which your husband duly gave Grin
Love the username!
SunshineSum · 09/06/2021 15:14

It's a bit rude but on balance I think Jesus he loves your DH and he knows your DH is right.

RadandMad · 09/06/2021 15:17

Anyone who plays loud music loudly with no thought to their neighbours has got it coming, imo.

Chocolatefreak · 09/06/2021 15:18

Another thumbs up for your DH.

bogoffmda · 09/06/2021 15:20

Respect your DH and made me smile

RedMarauder · 09/06/2021 15:20

Grin Totally with your husband.

Back in my younger days I use to tell neighbours to turn their music up if it was muffled, I could work out what it was and I didn't mind it. I clearly confused a few neighbours as they turned their music off....

Port1aCastis · 09/06/2021 15:22

My dd has been blasting out Jason Derulo all day so I wish he would take her bloody dancing, not sure which is worse him or Phil Collins

Franklyfrost · 09/06/2021 15:22

Not liking something unpleasant isn’t the same thing as having sensory issues.

Moonmelodies · 09/06/2021 15:22

Has he seen American Psycho?

Port1aCastis · 09/06/2021 15:23

@SunshineSum

It's a bit rude but on balance I think Jesus he loves your DH and he knows your DH is right.
Brilliant Grin
RandomLemonVerbena · 09/06/2021 15:23

If it was loud enough for you to hear it was Phil Collins it was too loud. I don't mind a bit of Phil but if you play your music loud enough for people to hear then you are inviting comment. Team DH too!

PhilCornwall1 · 09/06/2021 15:24

The relevance of them being Syrian is that they responded by largely talking in their mother tongue, which I couldn’t understand.

They were probably saying "I just don't get it, Dave down the road said his daughter thought Phil Collins was cool."

PhannyPharts · 09/06/2021 15:26

Hmmm. I expect they're playing it as it's a nice sunny day.

And clearly, your DH, wishes it to rain down.

Or is he usually an easy lover?

diddl · 09/06/2021 15:26

He thinks people are wrong to like Phil Collins and people who do don't deserve respect?

Sounds to me as if he's a rude judgemental twat & trying to justify it.

Of course he should apologise for being so rude.

Original poster
AtotheZ · 09/06/2021 15:27

@Franklyfrost

Not liking something unpleasant isn’t the same thing as having sensory issues.
It can be both. Like @amusedbush I’m also neurodivergent although not autistic. I have very strong impulsive and objectively irrational reactions to certain sounds, accents and music, some sounds can make me feel distressed. I have never been rude to people about their taste in music but there are some songs I find unbearable.
OP posts:
PrincessNutNuts · 09/06/2021 15:28

Phil Collins is cool! Things come round again, don't they? I'm humming I Wish It Would Rain Down as I type this.

I find other peoples noise stressful too, though, so I get it.

Noise cancelling headphones are an essential piece of WFH kit

SandrasAnnoyingFriend · 09/06/2021 15:31

Phil Collins or Genesis? The difference is key here...

Original poster
AtotheZ · 09/06/2021 15:31

DH has noise cancelling headphones - Phil was still getting through.

Honestly it was the level of noise he was mostly reacting to. It was far too loud for a weekday when people are WFH,

They are noisy neighbours generally. The neighbour on their other side has complained to them about other noise before. We have mostly always put up with it.

OP posts:
belimoo · 09/06/2021 15:33

I did something very similar to your dh recently. I intended to mutter it under my breath but it came out a lot louder than intended and the neighbour heard.

I've been cringing about it since but this thread has made me feel a lot better! We're so sick of their incessant music and noise that we're considering moving just to get away from them.

AlmostSummer21 · 09/06/2021 15:33

I like Phil

He wasn't wrong to shout to get it turned off - people should not play music loud enough to be heard by their neighbours - it's anti social

He shouldn't have said their taste was awful because that's a personal thing and there was no need to make it that personal

However, we all snap sometimes.

Do NOT go and apologise. They were being incredibly anti social.

I hope the 'health crisis' is over soon & all is well.

Tell him not to diss Phil though!' 🦍

2021mumma · 09/06/2021 15:35

I’m with your DH our neighbours were playing the Beegees late on Sunday night was enough to give me a migraine with those high pitch voices!!

AlmostSummer21 · 09/06/2021 15:36

@belimoo

I did something very similar to your dh recently. I intended to mutter it under my breath but it came out a lot louder than intended and the neighbour heard.

I've been cringing about it since but this thread has made me feel a lot better! We're so sick of their incessant music and noise that we're considering moving just to get away from them.

Stop feeling bad! People behaving like anti social oafs need telling!!
MadMadMadamMim · 09/06/2021 15:39

I'm with your DH on dickheads who 'share' their music with the neighbours.

I am neutral on the subject of Phil Collins musical value. But genuinely bemused by the fact that he was a) known and b) loved by Syrians.

Who'd have thought it...

Topia · 09/06/2021 15:44

Honestly, you would think by now that people would have cottoned on to the fact that many, many folk are now working from home and to engage their brains before playing their music at high decibels for long periods of time. Play your music, fine, but have some consideration for your neighbours. Why turn it up to a volume which is clearly anti-social, given said likelihood of people WFH?

The number of threads on here about this very same dilemma; I would not assume that everyone else within spitting distance is out, and blast my music at top volume for hours on end.

Sorry but it's selfish, and inconsiderate. I agree with your DH. My neighbours periodically blast their music at tope volume whilst I'm working during the day and it's club music with a repetitive, heavy bass. It makes me want to commit murder. So fucking rude, and short-sighted. Some people can't see beyond their own selfish wants and needs

Swipe left for the next trending thread