DH told neighbours off for playing Phil Collins

[AtotheZ]

Both DH and I are working at home. Terraced house. Next door neighbours are fairly noisy. We are both very stressed at the moment as our autistic child has a serious ongoing health crisis and we're waiting for some important news.

I've thought for a long time now that DH is also on the Autistic Spectrum (as well as his child, his sibling and nieces are diagnosed with ASD). He has sensory issues to do with noise, and he is very, very particular about music. Music snob level. He gets visibly very disturbed if music he hates is played.

This lunchtime our neighbours were playing Phil Collins very, very loudly. It went on for a long time. We could hear it very clearly and loudly even with our back door closed. DH popped his head out of the back door and shouted: "whoever is playing Phil Collins, turn it OFF. And get some musical taste".

I am mortified. Phil Collins ceased immediately, but there was then some very loud and angry sounding discussion between the Syrian couple next door in Arabic or Farsi.

DH has never done anything like that before, but has had a go at the same neighbours because their kids were repeatedly throwing balls into our garden and back off our house.

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect. I was thinking of asking him later to apologise, or apologising myself. Advice please?

Hold on....

I'm team DH.

Go your DH

I lost my rag last summer when our NDN (who I get on really well with and who work very, very, very part time hours) bought their son a basketball hoop and put it out the front near our windows. It was boiling hot so I had the window open, I was working from home on a massive bit of covid-related work that had a tight deadline (which they knew about) - everyone in the team was up against it and I had endless emails and Teams meetings about it, people were quite stressed.

All I could hear all day long was BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, RATTLE, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, RATTLE on and on and on as he bounced the ball on the tarmac and then threw it at the hoop. Even with the window shut I could still hear it. I may have eventually lost the plot and shouted something in earshot .

@Daisiesarebeautiful

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect.

Well I agree with him there but he was wrong to tell them to turn it off. People can play whatever music they want in their own homes during the day.
I had Britney from a neighbour the other day, little did they know I had just taken delivery of a new mega sonos speaker so I I just played mine louder. I'm playing it pretty loud today as it's my day off (aka housework/gardening) and I need the motivation.
My neighbours are working from home and I don't care if its bothering them as they are late night door slammers and I hate them 🤷‍♀️

Lucky other neighbours! (not the ones you mentioned). It must be so pleasant living among you all

Team DH here too.

There can't be a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram of 'people who listen to Phil Collins at top volume' and 'people who smoke lots of very strong hash', surely? Or is Phil Collins cool nowadays?

This is the best title thread ever though.

I hate when people use the autistic card as an excuse to be rude.
I like gangster rap and my neighbours like cliff Richard - neither of us are in the wrong unless our music is too loud which we’d ask for it to be turned down.

Sounds like there’s a reason why your neighbours act the way they do and from your posts I don’t blame them. Your DH sounds extremely entitled.

Could be worse, Pumped up Kicks on repeat at high volume or the worst of eurovision.

@Confusedandshaken

Your husband is an old fogey as well as having bad manners. Phil Collins is enjoying a resurgence much admired and respected by people too young to remember him first time around. The Syrian couple's conversation was probably along the lines of 'How come an old man like him has even heard of this cult god we love so much?'

Ha, the man in the Syrian couple is probably at least as old as my DH if not older.

Thank you @ApplePie86 for understanding. Sorry you find certain noise painful too.

To answer a previous Q: DH likes Green Day. Is that the right answer? He listens to a wide range, including our DC’s choices, but if he finds something difficult to listen to he’ll politely say.

Tbh I think it was the number of Phil Collins songs in a row that was the issue. DH was able to put up with at least 3 in a row but then his tolerance er, came to a shuddering halt. It was far too loud. I just wished he’d asked them to turn it down rather than off and hadn’t told them to get some musical taste. It was rude of him, but the level of noise was taking the piss.

@FairlyOddmother

Team DH here too.

There can't be a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram of 'people who listen to Phil Collins at top volume' and 'people who smoke lots of very strong hash', surely? Or is Phil Collins cool nowadays?

I love Phil Collins, if he'd shouted that I'd have turned it up obviously not knowing he has problems with it

I'm currently listening to something the young people of today class as music, it's just incessant noise (I'm not that old 😂 ) but I haven't gone outside and shouted "whoever is playing that shite music, turn it off".

🍫🍫

I've no idea what Phil Collins sounds like but if I were your neighbour it would be on all day, arrogant idiot shouting at them about their taste.

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect

He's a rude arse. With or without sensory issues. He was just rude & unkind.

@FairlyOddmother

Team DH here too.

There can't be a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram of 'people who listen to Phil Collins at top volume' and 'people who smoke lots of very strong hash', surely? Or is Phil Collins cool nowadays?

There was something on the TV the other day where someone, Richard Osman maybe, was saying that Phil Collins is having a resurgence in popularity.

Team DH. Fucking hate people who blast music. HATE them. NO ONE wants to hear your fucking music.

I thought phil Collins was cool now after that viral video of the youths listening to him for the first time.

As a one off I think it’s ok. If it’s not I can see your dhs point.

@toocold54

I hate when people use the autistic card as an excuse to be rude. I like gangster rap and my neighbours like cliff Richard - neither of us are in the wrong unless our music is too loud which we’d ask for it to be turned down.

Sounds like there’s a reason why your neighbours act the way they do and from your posts I don’t blame them. Your DH sounds extremely entitled.

um yes the neighbours smoking copious amounts of weed, playing Phil Collins loudly and letting their children banging their basketball against the fence repeatedly is definitely my DH’s fault

DH isn’t using the autistic card, he barely agrees that he’s autistic. However I am saying that his sensory issues - often a symptom of autism - may be a reason why he is especially or irrationally bothered by certain voices or music.

I agree he was rude. He’ll probably later admit he was rude too.

What's the relevance of the neighbours being Syrian?

He could have gone about it a better way but I have sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent but not autistic) and I often reach a breaking point with intrusive noise.

Bonus Phil Collins meme just because it makes me laugh every time I see it

Who the hell tells other people what music they should or shouldn’t listen to? What an absolute cock.
He also thinks he has great taste in music , and he likes Greenday? 🤣

@WeAreTheHeroes

Could have been worse - they could have been playing Cher.

This made me laugh! On a sunny day a couple of weeks ago, we were treated by one of our neighbours to Cher’s greatest hits, all the way through ... twice

I quite like Cher (sorry), but it does get kind of annoying being forced to listen to something by someone else.

The relevance of them being Syrian is that they responded by largely talking in their mother tongue, which I couldn’t understand. I don’t know what language it is, other then it’s one that must be widely spoken in Syria. felt that saying “in their native/mother tongue” sounded rude and dismissive, so I said they’re Syrian and that they were speaking in Arabic or Farsi as an explanation.

Yep, also team DH.

I've no idea what Phil Collins sounds like but if I were your neighbour it would be on all day, arrogant idiot shouting at them about their taste.

I agree I’d play the same Phil Collins song all day everyday just because the DH sounds like an entitled, arrogant twat.

I bloody love Phil Collins