DH told neighbours off for playing Phil Collins

[AtotheZ]

Both DH and I are working at home. Terraced house. Next door neighbours are fairly noisy. We are both very stressed at the moment as our autistic child has a serious ongoing health crisis and we're waiting for some important news.

I've thought for a long time now that DH is also on the Autistic Spectrum (as well as his child, his sibling and nieces are diagnosed with ASD). He has sensory issues to do with noise, and he is very, very particular about music. Music snob level. He gets visibly very disturbed if music he hates is played.

This lunchtime our neighbours were playing Phil Collins very, very loudly. It went on for a long time. We could hear it very clearly and loudly even with our back door closed. DH popped his head out of the back door and shouted: "whoever is playing Phil Collins, turn it OFF. And get some musical taste".

I am mortified. Phil Collins ceased immediately, but there was then some very loud and angry sounding discussion between the Syrian couple next door in Arabic or Farsi.

DH has never done anything like that before, but has had a go at the same neighbours because their kids were repeatedly throwing balls into our garden and back off our house.

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect. I was thinking of asking him later to apologise, or apologising myself. Advice please?

Yes please apologise for his manner but explain you work from home and it's warm so windows are open so you would appreciate them keeping the volume down in the garden during the working day.

😂

He’s correct. They don’t deserve respect. Maybe erasure will be on next.

@Muddydoor

this was the best Cadbury's ad. thanks for reminder!

Sounds a bit immature to not recognise people have different tastes and opinions on a wide range of things. Is he normally so intolerable to things he doesn’t like and throws a tantrum? I don’t like phill Collins, but I wouldn’t be rude about it to people I have to live in close proximity too.

I wouldn't have yelled that tbh it'll just get the neighbours back up.

It could have been worse. He could have shouted "turn that fucking shit off, the whole street doesn't want to hear it" when the bloody idiot who lived behind us a couple of years ago was playing, oh I don't know what you'd call it, it was just a load of shouting with a tonne of bass. I'd reached the end with them.

Don't apologise, as the idiots will see it as a reason to make more noise.

I really hate this superiority that one person’s music taste is better than someone else’s. And that someone deserves no respect for listening to a particular music.
That said, being considerate re volume levels of anything when we are all trying our best to work from home is surely basic manners.

@MaybeCrazy2 he recognises that people have different tastes and opinions on a wide range of things, he just thinks that people are wrong to like Phil Collins. He genuinely finds it intolerable, which is why I said he is probably on the autistic spectrum, as it's a sensory thing and he's black and white about it (he agrees he has some autistic traits).

Is he normally so intolerable to things he doesn't like and throw a tantrum? No, I said as much in my OP. We have put up with a lot of very loud music from the neighbours and their children constantly banging a ball against the fence over and over. But DH is very overwhelmed by stress currently and he didn't moderate his behaviour. An autistic meltdown perhaps, rather than a tantrum.

I'm with your husband. If he could hear it despite wearing headphones, they are being inconsiderate idiots and deserve to be told, frankly.

@ShirleyPhallus

Do you think they could feel it coming in the air tonight?

Sure as hell not another day in paradise by the sound of it.

Another vote for your DH

At the risk of drip-feeding, we have also put up with the male neighbour smoking very potent-smelling hash on a near daily basis. It's so strong it gets in our house and makes our child cough. In the end the neighbours on the other side of him complained and he does it out the front window now more than out the back door, although we still smell it on occasion.

So I think it's the Phil Collins that broke the camel's back.

If the volume of the music was offensive or bothersome, then yes it’s fair enough to complain.

If the it was the the musical taste that was offensive, then I’m sorry but that is very unreasonable.

No one persons taste is music is better than someone else’s!!

Sigh it’s always the same on here, someone says it, other think that’s cool and pile on saying yeah be rude to yout neighbours he rocks! When in reality they wouldn’t say boo to a goose.

They shouldn't be playing music that loud, any music.
Obviously your DH can't control their music choices though.

DH said that people who play Phil Collins don't deserve respect.

Well I agree with him there but he was wrong to tell them to turn it off. People can play whatever music they want in their own homes during the day.
I had Britney from a neighbour the other day, little did they know I had just taken delivery of a new mega sonos speaker so I I just played mine louder. I'm playing it pretty loud today as it's my day off (aka housework/gardening) and I need the motivation.
My neighbours are working from home and I don't care if its bothering them as they are late night door slammers and I hate them 🤷‍♀️

Mr neighbours play Cliff Richars loudly, Phil Collins would be an improvement

Good for DH. Who wants to listen to that depressing music on a lovely sunny day!

😂😂😂 this has made my day!

I haven't played any Phil Collins for years as it's on vinyl, though have just acquired a new turntable so would be treating your DH to them all then the back catalogue of Genesis

On a serious note, I'm very much like your husband. Not diagnosed but my Mum always "jokes" that I'm "on the spectrum". Any unnatural noise like music or partying groups destroy me (I'm fine with traffic noise or anything naturally occurring).

Annoying noise/music regularly end with me crying my eyes out in bed and my partner had to physically stop me leaving my flat to go and bash the door down of the ignorant twat that lives upstairs.

It's truly an horrific feeling so I completely understand your husband's position 😞

Other peoples music always irks me. One day I'm moving to a detached with only wild life breaking the silence

@ShirleyPhallus

Do you think they could feel it coming in the air tonight?

Bloody brilliant

Your husband is an old fogey as well as having bad manners. Phil Collins is enjoying a resurgence much admired and respected by people too young to remember him first time around. The Syrian couple's conversation was probably along the lines of 'How come an old man like him has even heard of this cult god we love so much?'

What does your DH listen to?