Why are some mums so difficult?!

[AAAY]

Random rant, Took my 2 yo for her first swimming lesson today, it was a quiet group just one othe rparent and her little one. she started off nice by introducing herself and her lo who went and hid behind behind her and was looking to the floor. I smiled and said awww maybe he's feeling shy don't worry, she seemed really offended and said no he's not! Give him a minute and then walked off! Ten mins into the swimming lesson whilst he was chatting away to the instructor she made it a point to say to me look he's not shy he's chatting!

After the lesson she began general chit chat about my daughters age and said "so she's never had any lessons before?!" as if I was lying (lo was praised by instructor for doing well as a first timer) I tried d to make small talk back and she continued to tell me that her son was doing really well when he first started as it was just him but now there is another child (my dd) he's not been the same! It's so petty I mean she just got lucky that until today it was just her.

I made it a point to say well see you next week! I'm not going to stop going I'm not going to change classes but why are some mums just so complicated and competitive (I come across this a lot and it's one reason why I never went to baby classes)

Anxiety. People like that are always hiding their own insecurities and anxieties.

She sounds awful.

She does sound weird but maybe you shouldn’t have commented on her kid being “shy”.
Maybe he is a bit shy but strangers telling him he’s shy is unlikely to help with that.

Maybe she’s wondering why you thought it was ok to comment on her child.

@IDontLikeMondays88

Maybe she’s wondering why you thought it was ok to comment on her child.

Oh give over

The OP hardly commented that her child was ignorant.

Shy isn't an insult ffs

Ah yeah, no one likes being called shy. It gets my back up when I hear people call my DD ‘shy’. Its not a compliment really; it’s certainly not seen as a positive trait so I can understand why she got upset.

@IDontLikeMondays88 was waiting for an arsey comment from someone. The thing is I was wondering if perhaps she didn't like my comment but I didn't go out of my way to speak to her or her child. I was sitting and waiting for the. Class to start. She approached me said hi are you in this class? This is "John" say hello John, he can show your lo how it is. John doesn't day hello instead he. Hides behind his mum and looks at the floor. I. Response to this I said awww don't worry maybe he's feeling shy.

@Wideawakeandconfused

Ah yeah, no one likes being called shy. It gets my back up when I hear people call my DD ‘shy’. Its not a compliment really; it’s certainly not seen as a positive trait so I can understand why she got upset.

Really? You think her over reaction is completely okay?

Yeah maybe shy isn't the best of terms. I certainly don't use it when DC is feeling a bit unsure around someone. But I wouldn't have a go if someone said 'maybe he's shy'!

I'd be like and then change the subject, or leave them to it and concentrate on just DC. This woman then randomly made a bed line for OP during the session, desperate to point out her DC's 'not at all shy' shenanigans

Tha ks for all the other comments. I personally don't get offended if someone said to either of my dds that they y were being shy because they actually sometimes! I didn't realise it would really offend other ppl. Gosh it really is like walking on eggshells with som ppl. Best to just smile and say nothing. It was not intended in a judgy or belittling way he was just acting shy doesn't mean he's got a problem just meant no need to get him to say to hello and make him speak to my daughter if he doesn't feel like it!

Maybe she’s wondering why you thought it was ok to comment on her child

🙄 The op was obviously trying to smooth over the slight awkwardness of said child being introduced & hiding behind the legs.

Ignore and avoid, I’d certainly make less chit chat next time. How rude of her.

I remember being terribly shy as a child. It was nice when people recognised my shyness and accepted it. Far better than people thinking I was rude.

So many people are so over sensitive and stroppy these days it’s fucking annoying.
I’ve lost patience with people like that, so ready to twist innocuous comments to make it seem like you’ve said something offensive and make themselves a victim when its clear you’ve said nothing wrong. No time for that nonsense anymore it’s wearing so thin.

I bet you a pair of used verruca socks that she'll be mega pissed off if your DD ends up being better at swimming and her DS is, in effect, "beaten by a girl" even though you're not trying to make it a conpetition. Pity her poor DS.

Do you remember being at school? And how some of the other children were difficult/weird? Well, that doesn't stop just because people have children. 🤷‍♀️

But previous poster who said 'anxiety' is probably correct. People get stressed, about all sorts of things, and act oddly/badly.

Don't give it too much thought. Thankfully, it's not your problem.

@Muddydoor exactly this! One thing I really dislike is when my kids are thrust in o awkward situations. I think her lo was just glad to not have to stand there and have to say hello and have all this pressure of being told that he can show the new kid how amazing he is in his lessons.

@FuckUcuntychops and @powershowerforanhourwe need more mums like you out there

It wasn’t an “arsey comment” it was a genuine observation.

As someone else has said being “shy” isn’t seen as a positive attribute. Also if you have a shy child it’s sort of self fulfilling if everyone labels them shy!

I don't think telling someone that their kid is shy was a great move to be honest.

I'd have been offended by that as well.

Bet it’s her first child. You get to the third or fourth and you are just grateful they haven’t pooed in the pool.

PS I totally get that you didn’t mean anything by your comment - it was just a passing comment - but maybe it is something she is worried about. 🤷🏼‍♀️

People make all sorts of passing comments about other people’s children but maybe they shouldn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

@IDontLikeMondays88 fair enough but if that were true and she k ew she had a "shy" child don't come and speak to strangers with him! I admit I may have used an insensitive term to something, but the woman literally shoved her kid in front of me and said here say hello! And he actually did behave in a shy manner! This is why it's difficult because you never what the right thing to say is. Best to say nothing

Yes it probably is best to say nothing that was my point

I think the mum felt embarrassed.
She's likely an insecure person who hoped to show off a little to the new people but it was thwarted when her ds didn't play ball.
I'm betting next week she ignores you.