Why are some mums so difficult?!

[AAAY]

Random rant, Took my 2 yo for her first swimming lesson today, it was a quiet group just one othe rparent and her little one. she started off nice by introducing herself and her lo who went and hid behind behind her and was looking to the floor. I smiled and said awww maybe he's feeling shy don't worry, she seemed really offended and said no he's not! Give him a minute and then walked off! Ten mins into the swimming lesson whilst he was chatting away to the instructor she made it a point to say to me look he's not shy he's chatting!

After the lesson she began general chit chat about my daughters age and said "so she's never had any lessons before?!" as if I was lying (lo was praised by instructor for doing well as a first timer) I tried d to make small talk back and she continued to tell me that her son was doing really well when he first started as it was just him but now there is another child (my dd) he's not been the same! It's so petty I mean she just got lucky that until today it was just her.

I made it a point to say well see you next week! I'm not going to stop going I'm not going to change classes but why are some mums just so complicated and competitive (I come across this a lot and it's one reason why I never went to baby classes)

Her (over) reaction clearly wasn't great but I would never, ever describe a child as shy in front of them, and I would be pissed off in her position. It is generally recognised that labelling children's behaviours like this can be really unhelpful - especially something like shyness, which can become a self fulfilling prophecy - I'm surprised you are surprised she didn't like it.

There was no need for you to pass any comment at all - just smile, say "Hello, John" and move on.

Sounds like a few fairly minor awkward moments that feel bigger than they are. She probably left feeling off about you too.

There are so many possibilities as to why she over reacted. Maybe she is highly anxious, maybe she has had loads of comments on her “shy” child...who knows.

Best to just move on and just have minimal interaction in future sessions.

Sorry this has happened OP but in my experience, not surprised. I know exactly what you mean. I hope you soon find a friendly parent to talk to who realises that you mean well and are just making conversation

So glad I don't have to deal with this sort of shit any more🙄

The woman sounds awful - stuck up her own a**e.

There is a lady like this at my swimming lessons, her son is nearly two and my daughter almost one. She gets mightily annoyed that my daughter gets praised and her son sits on the side, to the point she complains to the teacher about it. It is as plain as day that her anxieties are rubbing off on her son who is too scared to do much of anything. It’s quite sad really.

Oh ffs don't worry about it OP. Some people just really need to get a grip!

I hate small talk. I used to get out of it by developing a cough that required fresh air. Can't do that anymore.

I dislike the shy comments as well.

You don’t call kids ugly or stupid to a parents face so why would you feel the need to say shy? Hardly a compliment.

My real hate of baby groups is if, for example, my ds cries someone will pipe up "if you think this age is hard, wait until they're x years." Firstly, I didnt say it's hard and secondly, I have 2 children and know what they're like at x years.

Because they're knobheads.

Young children often get shy around new adults, it's perfectly normal and not an insult! 🙄

Sounds like a whole big fuss over nothing. I’m not sure why you’d get so bothered by it. Not everyone you meet will be lovely. So what? Don’t take it personally. It won’t be about you.

The way I see it calling her kid shy (yikes) put her on the defensive "gotta prove myself" warpath and it went downhill from there.
I can see how you meant nothing by it and also why she got defensive.
it's unfortunate

if you at all care about mending fences you could be the bigger person and next time just say "I think we got off on the wrong foot and I'm sorry if I offended you by calling him shy, I didn't mean anything by it."

see how she reacts to that. if she apologies in anyway that's great. if she continues to be an arse that's on her.

I didn't know calling a child shy was so offensive either. She sounds prickly OP I would avoid talking to her in future, I would be too worried about sticking my foot in it again!

We're talking about 2yo's here aren't we? Of course they get shy around people they don't know or simply don't like, they are unpredictable (most 2 yo's I've known). My DS acts awkward when he sees new people sometimes and I say oh his a bit shy because his tired blah blah blah. Is awkward, weird or even scared a better word to use?

MN is weird.
Op, what you said was absolutely fine, and you meant no offence.
...the child was acting shy, and you said it to be nice and eliminate an awkward situation.

YANBU and this isn't your problem!!!

Sounds ott but to be honest I never say to my 2yo “are you shy” etc snd wouldn’t like someone to say it to him either. Don’t know why it’s just not something I want to make a big deal over or put attention on to him.

Anyway hope your dd continues to thrive in her swimming, my ds likes swimming too!

She sounds weird. But I don't think it's because she's a mum. Some people are just odd.

I think most people would react badly to negative attention on their child!

That's the thing, sometimes it's like a mine field, you just never know sometimes what reaction you will.get.

It's really not okay to call stranger's kids shy... what if she had replied, no - she doesn't like the look of you?

Which is why you don’t comment

The lesson is never to say anything which could in any way be construed as positive or negative inany way to any one.
Ffs.

She sounds like hard work, give her a wide berth. Next week nod & smile & then put your ear buds in & ignore her

Pretty normal to defend your child against unwanted comments from a stranger. For children who struggle with anxiety in new situations, being labelled as “shy” is really unhelpful.