What stupid accidents have you had?

[boomchikawowwow]

I always seem to have stupid injuries for one reason or another.

This evening I thought I almost smashed my teeth out from a drinking glass. My tooth still feels sore now

I'm always covered in burn marks from taking things out of the oven.

Who else is accident prone?

Two come to mind.

The first, I was out running with my dog. It was a street that was slightly downhill. The dog started running full out, then stopped and dropped. I tripped over the dog, took off into the air, and didn't come down till I ran out of leash. Shattered the knuckles in my right index finger.

The second, I was getting in the passenger seat of my car, had one foot in, one on the ground. Stopped to talk with a neighbor, and somehow, lost my balance, fell backwards and closed the car door on my throat. Left a heck of a bruise. Ex took me to Emergency Care, and I had a heck of a time convincing them that I had NOT been abused!

My mum's friend broke her foot by dropping a frozen turkey on it getting out of the car

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

walked backwards down 3 steps of stairs backwards to avoid getting my foot tangled in hoover hose. miscounted steps and smashed my foot into floor, spraining my ankle really badly

slipped on water in front of toilet while reaching to flush loo, smashed my chin on toilet bowl. I have an inch long scar on my chin (I was 7)

had to sneeze into sink (hands were full, and I had no way to move). smashed my chin into sink, bit through my tongue

sewn through a finger with sewing machine. through the nail but luckily avoided the bone

stabbed my hand while trying to cut a piece of mdf with a knife

I also managed to impale my finger in sewing machine. I'd raised the footer ( is that what it's called?) in order to turn fabric and accidentally touched pedal with my foot. My husband had to cut needle with wire cutters to release me and I went to A&E with remains of needle through finger with thread attached. It went through the bone so technically a fracture. Had to have a nerve block to have it removed. I also once, when quickly trying to iron a blouse wearing only my bra on top bent down for something and burt the top of my boob on the iron!

I was so pleased about the new conservatory that I wanted to look at it from the garden. I forgot the builders had not yet built the 3 steps leading down into the garden.
My knee hasn't been the same since.

Almost fell off a double decker bus when I was 11. On a route we’ve never been on before, my mum thought we’d stopped at a bus stop but it was traffic lights. She got off, my brother got off, I went to get off but the bus sped off and I was left screaming holding on the pole at the back dangling into the road. I remember the conductor laughing and a woman passenger pulling me back on. The conductor argued with passengers and wouldn’t stop the bus until the next bus stop. I got off in hysterics and the woman stayed with me. I’d gathered a small crowd of concerned women. The bus didn’t wait. My mum and brother came running up the road distraught and we carried on our shopping mission. 😭

Sliced my finger cutting watermelon and fainted. Had to be taken to minors to get it stitched. Then the next day did the sand to another finger cutting more melon. I got my son-in-law to dress that one. Too embarrassed to go back to minors.

I made an ill timed ‘hop’ off a cruise ship tender boat in the harbour at Kefalonia, the boat raised up 3 feet as I hopped, I landed on my feet but then I slipped off my wedge sandals in slow motion and landed in a heap, it took 3 men to get me back on my feet I was shaken but ok and when we came back to the boat there was a proper step and warning tape all around!
Last summer after FiL’s funeral, the immediate family went to a country pub for a meal, afterwards we were in the garden and I got up to start walking after DD and baby Dgs, I tripped over nothing on the grass, fell forward and scraped the side of my face on the safety flooring under the swings 🙄 I also broke my favourite sunglasses, I was wearing sandals, again.

I live with a DIY disaster and usually do all the repairs. However, I was putting up shelves in the garage, which wasn’t particularly tidy. I was standing on our metal steps when suddenly they gave way, I was drilling into the wall at the time, I fell into the clutter with drill still going and managed to drill into my elbow. I strapped up my arm, replaced broken steps with the wooden IKEA kitchen ones and finished the shelves. Why? Because DH would have insisted on taking me to hospital, hidden the drill and the shelves would still be in their wrappers to this day. Feck, it hurt. Still hurts occasionally 5 years later. But no way can I fess up now!

I managed when I was a kid to skewer my hand with a knitting needle. It went through the palm and came out at the side of my wrist.

My mum's garden bench gave way when I sat back on it. The bottom panel of the back part and the back panel of the seat part decided to break at the same time and I ended up folded in two with knees around my ears and my arse hanging down between the back and the seat and my sister was pissing herself laughing and no goddam help at all as I was turning purple.

I've ironed my stomach while not paying full attention

I've stood on glass and not realised, until my husband freaked out at the trail of blood all over the downstairs.

I was using a discarded cabinet shell as a seat to do some gardening many years ago and the doors gave way. I ended up resembling an upside down turtle, wedged into the carcass and I was stuck for ten minutes.

I closed a pair of scissors, and cut a huge wedge into the tip of my finger.

My husband managed to accidentally close the corner of the car door on my head on the first day of heavy snow, about 3 years ago. 45 minutes later, it was still bleeding, so I called a taxi and took myself to A&E, where they asked if it was deliberate, to which I responded definitely not- if it had been he'd have repeated the action several times to make sure. Made them laugh as they superglued my head together- I have a neat scar just above my eyebrow as a souvenir.

Had been up in the attic but hadn't quite finished but didn't want the cat to climb the ladder so put it half way back up, went to get some laundry came out of the bedroom and walked forehead first into the ladder

Poisoned myself!
Really bad headache for days couldn't sleep or eat. Went to bed but decided to take a painkiller (which I very rarely do) got up, without spectacles Went down stairs, grabbed a paracetamol which are wrapped in paper the disolvable type, plonked it in a small wine glass and half filled with water. I waited with my head in my hands then gulped it back. Oh my god it was a milton tablet. Champion projectile vomit and a trip to AnE. Doctor said that it was a new one for him. I survived 🤣

I was moving the fridge to a new location while sorting out my old kitchen & it was a big fridge as tall as me but it had no wheels on the bottom.

The place I was moving it to was a tight fit & it had to pass under a piece of wood that had only mm of clearance (the gap increased significantly after that).
I managed to get my fingers pinned under the front bottom edge of the fridge at the exact point where there was no clearance so couldn't lift it up to create the space to free them & I lived alone in the house.

Nobody was expecting to hear from me so I could literally have been there for a week before anyone might have wondered why they hadn't heard from me.
I was stuck like that for many hours before I managed to get my fingers out from underneath by basically mangling them a bit more to shove the fridge forward enough that my fingers were no longer caught.

Got rid of the big fridge & bought an undercounter one after that.

I kicked a dumbbell a couple of weeks ago doing yoga - dumbbell was from a strength workout prior. I kicked it and broke a toe!

Oh, I also slipped
Over on wet grass during a game of tug o war, with kids at a holiday club and broke my coccyx, was off work for almost three weeks on zero pay and had actually done it at work! ☹️

Omg these are brilliant!! Sorry for laughing so much at all your misfortunes. Glad you're all ok!
As for me, well...

Aged 10 at ballroom dancing lessons, twirled, slipped and slid into a chair leg. Broke 3 toes and had to wear my mum's slip on sandals for 6 weeks

Many years later, walking back from a night out (driving so sober!) and rather than walking round my friend's 6 inch high chain link fence, I decided to step over it and 'save time'. First foot went over fine, then I caught my other foot on the fence and went flat on my face. Cue much hilarity from said friends. Walked around on increasingly swollen foot for 3 days before work finally sent me to A&E.
I'd broken my 5th metatarsal (apparently the same one as David Beckham).
Was in a backplate cast for 6 weeks and ExP had to come over every day to take the kids to school

I looped the end of my finger off because I was talking while I was conditioning roses.
It was glued back on but looks like it's been gnawed.

We were at Perth Races on a very rainy day and as I was chasing my then toddler I ran into the back of the giant TV screen and gave myself a black eye. Had to go to the St John's ambulance tent for medical attention. The following day my DH was removing a modification he'd made to DS's scooter and sliced through his hand with a knife. We then went on a camping holiday the day after. I had a black eye and my DH a bandaged opposite hand so I was getting some sympathetic looks as it looked like he'd hurt his hand punching me in the eye

Tested some pasta shells to see if they were cooked and scalded my lips and chin with boiling pasta water. Happened only this week so I have a magnificent blister on my lip. Yay.

A jar of peanut better fell out of the cupboard and broke my toe. Work didn't really believe me as it happened on New Year's Eve and I couldn't go back for a while as I couldn't get shoes on or drive.

Also managed to give myself a black eye by banging into a grab rail in a hotel bathroom when I bent down to pick up the shower gel I'd dropped. Then had to go and deliver a session at conference with a beautiful shiner developing as I spoke. Made for some curious looks...

I fell backwards into the sea off some rocks when I was trying to take a photo of my family. I stepped back to get them in the frame better.

I wish someone had videoed it.

I broke my collar bone jogging in the park looked up to see where the barking was coming from stepped in a pothole and summersalted but that wasnt what I'm posting about whilst waiting for xray i got talking to a lady who worked nights she stood on her step to go through door and stepped on a snail slipped and broke her leg in three places.

@Iheartmysmart
The horse I was riding bolted, went under a low tree which caught me across the top of my riding hat, I came off backwards broke my collarbone, wrist and knocked myself unconscious. Came too with my sister poking me with a stick asking if I was dead.

🤣🤣

I seem to always burn myself somehow. I have numerous burn marks from the iron, oven hob etc. Worst part is my skin scars a lot so the marks are there for life.

I totally read this as "what stupid accents have you had", and I was thinking "well, just this irritating estuary one I've currently got?"