What stupid accidents have you had?

[boomchikawowwow]

I always seem to have stupid injuries for one reason or another.

This evening I thought I almost smashed my teeth out from a drinking glass. My tooth still feels sore now

I'm always covered in burn marks from taking things out of the oven.

Who else is accident prone?

I keep hurting my boobs on top of chairs and door handles.

I know I shouldn't be laughing at these but god some are funny ! When I lived in uni halls my kettle was on the window ledge near the bed , as it finished boiling I leaned over the bed and caught the flex . Hot water poured over me but for some reason mainly caught my right ear , the nurse dressed it in a ridiculously large rectangle bandage .

My then husband dropped the iron. When I next turned it on I put it near my ear to listen to it, just in case it was making a funny noise. I got it a bit too close but not on the skin, to my face. A lovely vertical red mark on my cheek just before we were going out.

Opened the car door, talking not concentrating on my position, and caught the corner of it on my eyebrow, blood everywhere. If I had been half an inch taller I would probably have had my eye out.

Loads of burns on my wrists from the oven.

Always forget the bathroom sink juts out when I'm rummaging in the cupboard underneath and frequently smack my head against it when getting up.

Decided to change the way the fridge door opened. Took out the pins and dropped one on the floor, bent down to pick it up and the fridge door fell on my head. I was living on my own so wrote a note of what had happened in case I was found dead in bed the next day.

Pushing a metal skewer through a sweet potato so that it cooks quicker in the oven, skewer through my finger.

Cutting craft paper, holding the metal ruler whilst I used a new sharp crafting blade along it, not noticing my finger was in the way, I cut off a slice of skin the size of a honeydew melon seed.

Deciding not to have sausages for tea but corned beef instead. Lovely 'V' shaped cut on my thumb.

Thinking I was nimble enough to get over a barbed wire fence. I ripped the arse of my jeans and a lovely graze.

All these accidents as an adult, you'd think I should know better.

because of bad timing DH gave me a mild electric shock.
as I was joking that I'd get him back for that I gave him one by accident as well.

DH once crushed my fingers in his sleep because he had a dream that his best mate was pouring cold water on him as a prank.
I woke up screaming. I thought he broke my fingers, luckily just had bad bruising.

Also once while bending down to kiss me he had a nosebleed. all over my mouth & nose. yuck

My latest is I tried to pull the hoover out from under the hosepipe and ended up faceplanting in the cupboard under the stairs.

Stepped backwards onto a dodgy manhole cover (which I knew was there), went through it - broke my big toe, had a massive gouge in my leg where the edge of the cover dug in. That got me a trip to minor injuries, a tetanus shot and three rounds of increasingly strong antibiotics. To add insult to injury; it was on Mother's Day and I did it whilst washing the windows 🙄

I also once cut myself on a butternut squash. Actually on the vegetable itself. Oh, and I broke a finger playing snap 🤷🏼‍♀️

Stood half on couch and half on table to turn on overhead light. Table flipped from under me, landed on my shoulder. Dislocated it, dented my humerus and tore my labrum. Surgery and 4mths later still recovering. May need another surgery as I can still only lift my arm 90 degrees

while chasing a friend I slipped and faceplanted on wet gravel. half of my face looked like I'd used sandpaper as a face cloth. I was 8. I still have a scar just under right nostril and above eyebrow.

does almost choking while trying to puke up mashed potatoes count? height of morning sickness. I thought I was gonna die, couldn't breathe, couldn't shout for help...I was very scared.

@HerRoyalNotness

Stood half on couch and half on table to turn on overhead light. Table flipped from under me, landed on my shoulder. Dislocated it, dented my humerus and tore my labrum. Surgery and 4mths later still recovering. May need another surgery as I can still only lift my arm 90 degrees

Sending you hugs! Hope you don't need further surgery

My mum was washing her floor on New Year's Day. I'm clumsy as it is. She was on the phone and shouted out to me to watch out because the floors are wet. So I did, but of course I still managed to slip. Screamed out in pain at which the time she had a giggle as she was upstairs and thought I just had a silly fall until she saw me and said 'omg, I've got to go she's got blood spurting out of her face'.

I had blood all over my face, I smashed my face on the floor and my nose was nearly broken. It felt broken for sure. I covered a whole tea towel in blood. Also, whilst falling I bashed my heel on the door frame whilst I fell and couldn't walk on my right foot for months without pain.

Spent my day in minor injuries.

My speciality is twisting my ankle and falling. I think I've done it four times. One caused a broken ankle.

Shut my finger in a door and latched it shut - I lost the nail. I was in a hurry as I was desperate for the loo, so was swearing, holding my finger, scared to look at the damage, and trying not to pee myself.

Had a car trailer wedged into a shrubbery by the drive, decided to prune said shrubbery, and bent forward, headbutted the tow hitch so hard I bounced backwards and was sat on my bum on the drive with no knowledge of how I'd got there. Massive red bump in the middle of my forehead.

Burnt the side of my face with a curling tong, the kind with the spiral, so I had a row of parallel lines on my face. 3 minutes before new DPs extended family arrived at the pub where I lived to meet me for the first time.

Slipped and fell with my hand onto a moving conveyer belt, half my hand got pulled under the 'safety guard'. I was stuck and had to scream for someone to hit the emergency stop as I couldn't reach it. Accident wouldn't have happened if the retrofitted safety guard hadn't been there. Someone had just decided it looked like it should have a guard and bodged one together.

Was wheeling a set of access stairs (like a full size staircase on wheels) with someone who didn't have very good English. I saw it was going to hit something overhead, shouted 'woah!' which it turns out doesn't translate, collision happened and the handrail detached at the top, flipped back over, and hit me on the head!

Knoced over a tall rack of 500 individual Jam sponge puddings, just jumped out the way before I was squashed, but oh my god, the mess!

I broke 2 toes kicking my wheelie bin in a temper. Tried to hide what happened but they swelled very quickly and went a very dark shade of purple.

My Mum once sent me a text describing the most accident prone day ever. My Dad had needed a lift to the hospital for a nosebleed which wouldn't stop so my brother took him and my Mum. My mum proceeded to fall out of his car and smash her knees and then my brother shut his own hand in the car door, so both had to be checked at the hospital too. When my brother finally got home, my sister in law fell down the stairs and he had to drive back to the hospital with her. All of them were fine but I bet A&E were sick of them.

Wow, I’m so sorry yall had to go through these. Some are funny but they make me feel better about my accident last week.

I’d been feeling bad about scratching my right leg with my left big toenail.
I was just trying to get up from my computer chair to go eat lunch and somehow it happened.
The scratch was so bad that the skin came off revealing a gash of flesh. Managed so far with First Aid at home.

slipped in tap dancing class.
my foot got bent so badly I damaged the arch of the foot and the muscles/tendons or whatnot under the arch.
the metal tips on my tap shoes are screwed in - one of the tips got torn out and flinged off from the sheer force!
no idea what I slipped on, there was nothing slippery at all (the others were checking the floor. very puzzling)

this was 4 years ago. I still can't crouch down on my tiptoes or flex my foot properly without the bit under the arch aching.

Landed on my head, hard onto a wooden floor whilst roller skating. Massively confused but our hospital shut around 9pm back then and I couldn't be bothered travelling 20 miles to the next one. Went to bed that night seeing stars flashing everywhere. Next day my entire body hurt like fuck and after having a shower that night whilst getting dried I noticed my neck was no longer straight. It was bent like a banana. Amazingly though not broken. Turned out I had also given myself severe whiplash and soft tissue damage to my neck and upper spine and to this day 6 years later I still have a massive lump between the top of my spine and the base of my neck. Wound myself up in hospital for 9 days with a suspected bleed on my brain after my entire left side suddenly went numb and I had a massive headache that couldn't be controlled with painkillers. Still suffer from the effects of that 6 years later with confusion, severe fatigue memory loss and slurred speech. I'm a bit more cautious nowadays regarding my head especially given my head was also kicked and stamped on repeatedly when I was in my teens. 2 lots of severe concussion was bad enough

A kitten attacked me and I ended up spending several days in hospital with blood poisoning.

That was a fun phone call to work that Monday morning: "I'm going to be late to work because I got bitten by a kitten" followed several hours later by "I'm in A&E" followed several hours after that by "They're keeping me in". My boss told everyone I'd been bitten by a tiger.

I speared my chunky rear on a pencil I had accidently left on a seat in a cafe, when I went to sit down it pierced my skin.
I was so worried I had damaged an organ.

Tripped over in the doctor's surgery and cut my head open on the corner of a table when my name was called!

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

I like my grandma's double stapling accident best.

she stapled through her finger, nasty injury.
a week later she happened to visit so she was telling us what happened. but words didn't seem to be enough so she decided to get the stapler to re-enact it as closely as possible.
she managed to do a brilliant job of it as she stapled through her finger again. best demo ever🤣

🤣🤣

I fell off a suitcase and tore the ligaments in my leg and chipped a bone in my ankle.

I've also squeezed toothpaste into my eye accidentally before now!!

I had to shout my brother to rescue me from the cupboard under the stairs after doing in there and accidentally managing to get my ponytail skewered by the clothes horse and trapping me in there! This was as an adult unfortunately not a child!

Broke my hand trying to karate chop open a bulb of garlic like chef Novelli on the TV

While using a wire wheel attachment for an angle grinder, (they rotate at up to 12500 rpm) one of the wires came loose & hit me in the face. It buried itself fully under the skin of my forehead. Didn't really hurt but I felt the impact. I only realised there was a real problem when I couldn't see out of one eye because of the blood. I was 16, working for my dad & we were running behind so I quickly got cleaned up, got some antiseptic, tweezers & a mirror, & pulled it out. I had a really odd bruise later.
I was bloody lucky it didn't pierce my eye, or go up my nose & give me a lobotomy. I wasn't wearing safety equipment. Neither of us did except for chainsaw armour & ear defenders.

I used to use the lathe regularly, I was really good at it. He told me it wasn't unknown for the tip if the chisel to shear off & fly across the workshop. One of the tips was still embedded in the stone wall as he'd not been able to get it out, but it never happened to me. He came in once, having cut his hand really badly on the circular saw, I was about 6 & remember seeing he'd cut into the bone. It was probably quite good that he was still working from our outbuilding rather than having got a proper workshop, as it was pumping blood, he must have hit an artery & I'm not sure if he'd have survived if no-one else had been around. Amazingly he didn't even lose the thumb.

Also, yesterday (somewhat fittingly - see my username) I stepped on a massive uneven piece of gravel that DD had thoughtfully left just outside the door. She likes to build or make patterns with them. Now my foot is bruised.

I once walked backwards over a litter bin and broke my wrist.

I shut my arm in a gate at the weekend now sporting a rather stunning bruise.

A while ago I was slicing beetroot, thought 'I'm doing this really stupidly, if the knife slips I'm going to cut myself' aaand promptly cut myself.

Constantly burning my hands and forearms, both on the oven and on hot science stuff at work.

My Brownies have banned me from using the hot glue gun, one of the other leaders has to do it because I always burn myself.

My legs and arms usually have several bruises that I don't even know where they came from ! As well as a permanent one on each hip from walking into the corner of the desk at work all the blinking time.