Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

[GloomyWaters]

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

@GrandmasCat

Actually there is, you want your child to learn to fend by herself, manage her income and become self reliant before she is told she doesn’t need to lift a finger due to a big inheritance.

That way she should be prepared to manage her money. Much better for her and her future if she gets perspective before she gets a lot of money.

I agree with this.

I was in love with a school friend (not my best friend, just part of our friendship group) for years. I still think of her fondly and wonder what she's doing now.

I’m so unhappy that every night I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up in the morning. If you met me out and about you’d think I was fine, friendly, chatty, open.
I’m not any of those things, I’m just really really really good at pretending.
Dh is excitedly booking holidays and going on to the children about them and I don’t want to do any of it. The most I want to do is get up and dressed and stay in my house. I’m too tired to want to do anymore.
I’m not happy with DH. I’m not happy in my job. Most of my friendships have drifted since COVID-19. I really don’t see the point in much anymore and can’t remember the last time I enjoyed anything or didn’t feel anxious.
This is all very self pitying, as I said - no one else would know, I don’t put it onto people IRL and there’s no solution and I know it’s deathly boring. Everyone is fed up at the moment anyway.

Oh and I’ve already spoken to the GP. Once they established I wasn’t going to harm myself RIGHT NOW they weren’t too bothered and I’m not going to keep troubling them. I think they are probably inundated with people phoning up with depression and low mood. There’s nothing the GP can do unfortunately, they don’t have a magic solution and I am only one person in thousands of other they have to see. I often think it wouldn’t matter if I were here or not.

@Dinosaurmermaid can you give the GP a ring on Monday? Anxiety and low mood is horrible and rips the joy out of life. But is also quite common, some CBT and possibly some medication short term would probably be really helpful.

... in that case talk to another GP, you really should be offered CBT and probably some medication for what you describe. It’s standard.

Dinosaur - I feel very sure that it matters massively to a lot of people that you are here. You can’t see it because you’ve sunk into depression. I really hope you get the help you need. There will be better times ahead.

I honestly wish my STBXH would die. He's insanely emotionally cruel and controlling, he will make my life difficult for as long as he can get away with it (while telling me that I am crazy and paranoid), and in many ways he has ruined my life. I will probably never live close to my family again thanks to him, but he still feels like an aggrieved victim.

I think my daughter would be better off without him and she would benefit from his death financially as she is his sole heir.

@PortugirlTES

Honestly I didn’t even raise an eyebrow at this happening. You are carrying an unnecessary deep shame around. As others have said, neither of you harmed anyone else. You are not monsters. I’m absolutely sure there would be mitigating circumstances. If not drink then most probably issues from childhood. Forgive yourself xxx

party there’s over 12 months waiting list for any therapy / CBT but I don’t think it would change anything anyway - it’s the circumstances I am currently in and unfortunately have to remain in for the foreseeable future.
They did offer medication but I turned it down. There’s nothing else they can do, I have to want to help myself and I don’t, I’m in the place now where I don’t feel anything would make any difference because everything is SO WRONG.

I'm a vampire

Congratulations and good luck with the new job DeeDimer.

In the early 90s, there was a standing joke at work that I was shagging the Bad Boy doctor - because we were so clearly not eachother's type.

But I was, all along (his name was not Dave, and I shagged Dave too)

I brought a small vibrator from the pound shop, seriously it does the trick!! Over the years I sometimes can cum upto 15 times by myself or after sex but I am there for about 45 mins, one after another

Brilliant Wide! I'm well impressed

I orgasm at least once a day on my own but you're on another level! I've never had a vibrator though.

After 20 years of marriage, aged 42, I have realized I am bisexual.

It hasn't changed the way I feel about DH and our (very happy) marriage, but I am really happy to finally have admitted it to myself.

As I don't want to change anything at the moment, there is no need to tell anyone else.

@ildrja - please, please, please, go to your doctor & write down how you feel if you can’t bring yourself to speak. I care about you too.

@surfingwaves ah you should get one! As I said mine eas only a quid haha but I'd have thought anyone can orgasm that many times if they stick at it?? I just have little rests in between each one. I used it earlier, my dh is in bed next to me asleep with man flu and the neighbour is mowing the grass so that drowns out the buzzing sound, if he wakes up I can blame the mower 😂😂

@Mamanyt, hope you're feeling better and recovering well.

When dc1 was a baby, I often fantasised putting a pillow over his head :(

Before anyone worries, dc1 is now 18yo and I never did anything that could have hurt him, not even leaving him to cry.

Ditto MiriamMargo. Nobody knows 😳

OMG I love you lot! !!

I'd say poor Dave - but he's asked for it! I hope you've all got the lotion! I'm kinda glad I swerved.

What to confess ... where to start ... ?

I'm going to have a long hard think and come back to you on that one!

@Dinosaurmermaid I'm worried about you - because I see a lot of what you're saying in myself. I understand that you've spoken to the doctor, but please try again.

There are SO MANY factors that can make you depressed and just talking things through can help - maybe see a counsellor or try Samaritans either. I'm so sorry that you feel so desperate - but you sound like you have a loving family - so please think of them before you do anything rash.

I have a close friend who committed suicide (in the past I've thought about it SO MANY times but every time something - usually my children, once a tentative friend who still has no idea how close I was that day until I spoke to her) ... but I know the devastation that it leaves behind. If only my friend had spoken up.

I'm no counsellor, but I do have a lot of experience with therapies and desperate situations I've been in in the past and if I can help I will, but please don't go it alone.

A mild anti-depressant might be useful. I rallied against any medication, but actually using anti-depressants for a couple of years, actually really helped my mental state.

Most of all take joy in the smallest of things. Life is truly precious and things really can turn around.

Take care of yourself xx

A guy I used to work with sent me a really nice card and bought me wine.

I couldn't take the wine or card home because I was married at the time