Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

[GloomyWaters]

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

[quote Holothane]@Losttheplotyearsago I know exactly where you’re coming from it was only when years later my dad finally told me he realised what a cow my aunt was and how she’d treated me, he still never stuck for me when I lived with her, but 30 years later he backed me up when I went nc and my sister.[/quote]

It sucks, doesn't it? Children have so little voice. Are left unheard so often. My heart breaks.

@DaveFromWork

You told me I was the only one!

I tell women my name is Dave, but it's really Rupert.

I have large debts that noone knows about and I fantasise about winning the lottery or a stranger just paying it all off 😂
Wishful thinking 🤦🏽

Callaird, please ring Samaritans on 116 123, any time of day or night. Or email [email protected]

I haven't read the full thread because I wanted to answer as soon as I saw your post. I'm sure other MNers are concerned and have offered advice too. Please don't despair.

Here is some more information, including a self-help app:
www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/

@ED81

Maybe a bit heavy but I had a termination this year and feel terrible most days about it.

I had one 10 years ago. Felt more awful than I can put into words, until the would-be due date. After that felt fine. Have never regretted it since. If I hadn’t had the termination my life would be worse in every way. And I know i couldn’t have cared for a child 10 years ago. Hang in there, it’ll get easier.

@Losttheplotyearsago I still have issues surrounding the emotional cruelty inflicted I still see myself as a hug fat blob but everyone tries to assure I’m not, I can’t bear to look at photos of me only 2nd wedding ones the only day I’ve ever felt pretty. It has taken years in fact I think I’ve never got over it, I was made to destroy all my 007 stuff before my 21st yes it sounds daft but when you know you’re not wanted almost certainly illegitimate, it broke me in 1987. A cousin who battered me he had cerebral palsy and could do no wrong. I was fat, thick and stupid.

[quote Holothane]@Losttheplotyearsago I still have issues surrounding the emotional cruelty inflicted I still see myself as a hug fat blob but everyone tries to assure I’m not, I can’t bear to look at photos of me only 2nd wedding ones the only day I’ve ever felt pretty. It has taken years in fact I think I’ve never got over it, I was made to destroy all my 007 stuff before my 21st yes it sounds daft but when you know you’re not wanted almost certainly illegitimate, it broke me in 1987. A cousin who battered me he had cerebral palsy and could do no wrong. I was fat, thick and stupid.[/quote]
I'm fat and it was just another excuse for the abuse to continue. Because I was "far and disgusting and bad."

The only reason I got married was to get away from my domineering, sarcastic, controlling mother. Only 3 people on this planet know. Been married 25 years and never been in love. He leaves me alone, that's all I care about so I stay. But honestly, I can't stand him.
I do have 2 beautiful children whom I love more than life itself.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to ask my partner to leave

Yes did you get the “ All that we’ve done for you” crap? I got this off my first husband I only married him to get away from the family.

I’ve got too much makeup and skincare

MotherofUnicorns that's shocking!
Did you know before anyone else did?

@FavouriteMug

HappilyHadesBound

Yes I pay privately via Burwash Pharmacy - you work your way up each week until you get to full dose. Once on full dose cost is £250 per month. It's working well for me on half dose though so don't see any need to increase

You need to do lots of research on side effects and there are a few Facebook groups to join if you wish.

I've lost 10 kg since March (slow and steady) and hope to reverse my diabeties. I'm 49 and post menopausal

I’m post menopausal and diabetic. I’m on Trulicity once a week injections via the NHS. I’m losing a good amount of weight but vomiting and IBS like side effects every now and again. Why are you paying privately? (None of my business, I know)

@CatAndHisKit I was only a child when it all happened, but as a family we knew about some of the victims before the public got to know. It was all very complicated and still is. I had a bad experience with him a few days before the murders so you could say I was one of his first victims.

@SallySinnamon

Since lockdown I now work from home permanently and can do my work in approx 3 hours a day. I’m happier and fitter than I’ve ever been (dog walking and online exercise classes) and I’ve been making an extra £2k a month matched bettering and day trading crypto when I’m meant to be working at my day job. I also get in at least an hour of Netflix a day.

Good for you. Work is something we do not a place we have to be. If you are competent enough to do an 8-hour day in 3 hours, then you deserve to keep going as you are, enjoying the extra freedom.

I had a partial molar pregnancy 9 years ago and never told anyone.

I'm in love with a married man.

@MaMisled

I had to have part of my perineum and inner labia removed 4 years ago. With less of a natural "funnel", I spray urine down my legs and on the floor. At work, I join in with general moaning about our 3 male colleagues terrible aim.

Interesting, have you tried sitting 'backwards' ?

This has been one of the best threads I've ever read on MN-some terribly sad posts but also some great
I really hope that those struggling ,find it in themselves to get help 😘

ffs who do you think I am? I would never ever consider shagging Dave from work. He's my grandson

I spent a lot of guilt ridden time wondering how I was getting through my work so quickly working from home, it wasn’t apparent immediately as we had a few months of covid disaster recovery, when it became clear I was powering through my work in a few hours I was initially panicking about what I wasn’t doing, on reflection I’m just REALLY good and very experienced at what I do! There are two teams that do similar things in different areas of the organisation and the other team would always come to me for advice and direction rather than their own manager as I was way more experienced, their own manager would also come to me, all done in an informal way. Since lockdown they won’t send a meeting request to speak to me instead of their own manager as it’s not really appropriate, it was fine to do when he wasn’t at his desk and they could ask in a “since he isn’t here” way, anyway that team performance has tanked and he’s leaving so I’m on the interview panel for his replacement so I suspect I will never be required to spend lots of time with them again once the new manager is up to speed. I’ve spent years developing my team and setting up processes so things run smoothly when I’m off, it’s all paying off nicely now, I will probably apply for more challenging jobs over the next year but for now I’m enjoying getting myself fit and healthy, having a tidy house and being there for my teenagers and aging parents in a way I couldn’t be before. I don’t feel at all guilty any more.

@ildrja

I am teetering on the edge of a complete mental breakdown. Mental health absolutely down the toilet. Lonely. There's absolutely no one who cares about me at all. I think I'm going to the GP about it next week but it's so hard as I will then have to tell soemone.

@ildrja I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you get the help you need.

After feeling completely straight all my life, I'm starting to have some very different thoughts about women.

@ildrja try to say to the GP exactly what you said on here. I sincerely hope you find the help you need x