Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

[GloomyWaters]

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

@leprintemps

My daughter is 22 and not yet in a position to buy a house. Like most of her generation she is worried about ever getting on the housing market. What she doesn't know yet is that my dad left money in his will for her that is expressly to be used for buying a house and is the equivalent of about a 60% deposit on the average price of a house. At the moment it's invested for her until she buys her first house.

How does that work tho? She can't afford to buy so can't have them money that's set aside to buy a house??

@Afterparty by leaving and finding a partner that knows your worth ❤️

@CanICelebrate I am really glad. It is so hard - hope you are proud of yourself.

@doubleshotespresso I feel you! Do people refer to you as "so strong". That's me too. I've cried twice today because I'm struggling so much.
My other,linked, secret is that I'm only with my child's dad because I know he'll discipline her physically and she's only 3 so it's safer if we're together and I can protect her. I've often thought about parking my tiny car on the train line with us both in it but I couldn't do that to the rest of my family.

My tasty stock for stews and soups is made with Marmite.

@Afterparty

How do you survive when your partner cheats on your for your entire relationship?

@Afterparty Are you sure you are 'in a relationship' with this man? He doesn't sound like much of a 'boyfriend'. Is he living with you? Is he living off you? What's in the relationship for him - just domestic services?

I'm asking these questions not to be harsh to you, I'm sorry you are in the position you describe. But perhaps if you re-frame it in your mind, you'll see you can kick him into touch and have a better life.

@leprintemps - why doesn't your DD know?! If she's 22 and it's her money why are you keeping this from her? Surely it would be better for her to know now, even id she buys a buy to let investment property.

It seems bonkers that at 22 you are still keeping this from her!

Went to docs over my surprise period husband didn’t even ask why

So when I went to the hospital for further investigation I didn’t tell him, he knew I had an appointment still didn’t ask.

I’m struggling with life at the moment. I wish I could go to sleep and just not wake up in the morning, like my mum did.

It’s not that nobody knows, more that nobody cares.

@MargosKaftan because it's a condition of the will that it's kept in trust until she's 25.

@SleepingStandingUp She doesn't want to buy a house yet and the money is held in trust until she's 25.

OK so she can't spent it now. Seems shit she's an adult and she doesn't even know about it. Do you want to do a big "ta da!" at 25? Surely better now she's an adult she's able to plan foe her own future knowing about it?

I had that but I always knew the money was there for me when I was 25!

@MargosKaftan she also inherited a smaller sum from my father when she turned 18.

@MargosKaftan also she's not in a position to get a mortgage right now.

@TwoHoots74

No judgement but be safe with the married man. His wife doesn’t deserve any nasties.

@SleepingStandingUp it was my father's wish that it should be a surprise for her at 25. She has already inherited a smaller sum from him at 18.

It doesn't matter. She is an adult and she should know about money held in trust for her.

She might not be ready to use the money for 5/10 years, the fact is its hers and she's an adult. She should know about it. She can make choices now as an adult, factoring it in. Provide your DD with the facts about her true financial position. There is no kind reason for you to hide it from her.

Actually there is, you want your child to learn to fend by herself, manage her income and become self reliant before she is told she doesn’t need to lift a finger due to a big inheritance.

That way she should be prepared to manage her money. Much better for her and her future if she gets perspective before she gets a lot of money.

I placed first at the parent's egg and spoon race at my kids primary school sports day race. I won a plastic bookmark.

I had my thumb on the egg.

a few 'secrets'

I'm in debt and have ignored some of them for four years. I just throw the letters away. I know it's wrong but when I tried to get help a few years ago, I couldn't cope with it

I am so stressed and anxious with my job (teaching) and this year has brought me close to the verge or breakdown so many times

The last year over lockdown has made me realise I don't actually like most of my friends, and i feel incredibly alone.

@MargosKaftan it was my late father's wish that it should be a surprise for her at 25. I may not have chosen that way, but I am honouring his will to the letter.

I shat myself once. On the golf course. Whilst I was trying to pretend I liked golf. With my then boyfriend.
Who I have since been married to for 19 years.
He still doesn't know.
I hid my pants in the sanitary bin.

I had my thumb on the egg.

I bloody knew it! I did win.🤣 🥇

Sorry xpost with it being your fathers decision.

I wouldn't keep that though.

She isn't a child. She's an adult who owns a huge amount of money. She should know while she's making life choices.

Your father shouldn't have put a restriction on to say she wasn't allowed to know about her own money until she was 25. That's really unfair.

Its not kind to keep this secret. Its really not. As an adult, she should know the state of her own finances.