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Tell us a secret that no one else knows?

999 replies

GloomyWaters · 04/06/2021 00:23

Me...by the end of this year I will be divorced...DH has no idea!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 04/06/2021 23:32

I don't think Dave shags around that much. I just think that if you're in your 40s or 50s, most of the men you know will be called Dave, Pete, Andy or Paul...

Iknowlittlerichard · 04/06/2021 23:34

Working in legal profession, you know details of cases, you have a sense of the person. I’ve recently moved jobs to a different practice as a result. I could not objectively support people I believed to be drug dealer, rapist, etc. I’m just not professional enough.

Elys3 · 04/06/2021 23:34

@NetflixAddict

I'm in a lot of debt due to spending on credit cards and taking out loans while mentally unwell and in an abusive relationship. It was manageable and affordable until a few months ago due to overtime at work. However, the overtime stopped and now I feel like I'm drowning. I'm almost 6 months pregnant but struggling to afford anything that I need and will be raising baby alone and in a tiny one bed 3rd floor flat. Because of my own stupidity and impulsiveness whilst I was ill I can't afford to move.
Flowers Please get some help from Stepchange www.stepchange.org/?channel=ppc&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnueFBhChARIsAPu3YkSwGfY3NSFugTT3VfqXVWjSydgzFGy94qgK2fr7-lAXFzjmeCjDa_waAhf0EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Jannie62 · 04/06/2021 23:34

I was once sectioned and spent several months in a mental hospital. Afterwards I moved to a different area. Nobody here knows.

MySecretIsYours · 04/06/2021 23:35

I am only alive because my DD aged 6 (almost 7) would end up living with my abusive ExH if I wasn't.

Once she's old enough to be independent I won't be.

I've had treatment for depression, anxiety and PTSD since before DD was born and I can fend off the thoughts for about 6 months if I'm lucky even with antidepressents but the thoughts creep back in and I'm only standing for them because of my beautiful DD.

sexisonfire · 04/06/2021 23:35

My colleague kissed me when we were both drunk last week. I haven't thought of much else since. It was lovely.
And I didn't even fancy him.
I do now.

I wish I could turn it off. Sad

MaryQueenofShit · 04/06/2021 23:36

I carry around with me every day a deep feeling that I have failed at life. Married for 30 years to horrible exH who treated me with a contempt I can't believe I accepted. Split 10 years ago and things are not getting better for me. I developed a major ED during our marriage and I think it will kill me eventually.

Everyone loves him and thinks he is the life of the party. I have a few fairly remote friends and adult DC who think their mum should be able to lose weight. I look like a cheerful coper to the outside world but I struggle every single day with sadness and self hatred.

Maddison12 · 04/06/2021 23:37

@LunaNimbus

(NC) This is the first time I've ever admitted to this....I was a teenage Mum back in the 1990's. So many people including medical folk, teachers etc looked down on me and said some terribly hurtful things. I have such a thick skin now I'm like a rhino!

I was so determined to prove them all wrong, got my qualifications, good job, worked my arse off, paid off my mortgage in my 40's, more than enough rainy day savings and never claimed benefits (not that there's anything wrong with that but people seemed so against young mums having the cheek to want to feed and clothe their babies via benefits they were entitled to claim back in the 90's..).

The bit no ones knows that caused this 'terrible shame', I was abused by the partner of a distant family member. They're still alive and I occasionally have to be in their company at big family do's like funerals. But, one day, in the not to distant future, I'll be reporting it to the police and they'll probably die of old age in prison. I've always felt I have to wait until some of my closer family are gone first though as it will be like dropping a nuclear bomb on my family.

Oh, and the baby, my now grown-up daughter is just the most amazing person, I'm so bloody proud of her and the person she has become.

When I read this I found myself wishing you would go to the police nowSad

Hope you're ok Flowers

blahblahblah321 · 04/06/2021 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes withdrawn post

Happyschool · 04/06/2021 23:40

Agree with above, I’m so sorry you are in pieces and that was so brave to write it down. Don’t beat yourself up, it’s not worth it . Would anything help you put it behind you? I hope you are ok And that you can leave that behind as something forgotten that can’t affect you now. Be kind to yourself and look forwards not back

Holothane · 04/06/2021 23:44

The sadness of this thread so many lives with guilt sadness 💐💐💐💐💐💐to all of you, depression is a dreadful thing I’ve had it myself and still do. Only my I laws really know my sadness at it involves their son, who they love but he can wear me down sometimes. Group hug for all of us.

startingover44 · 04/06/2021 23:45

@PortugirlTES

Jeez... if anyone wants to pacify me now it would be appreciated. Never told anyone before and am now in pieces.
Breathe - we aren't here to judge you x
TooManyToTell · 04/06/2021 23:48

...had very, very long on/off affair with a work colleague...not a Dave. Best kisses ever and miss them dreadfully

PortugirlTES · 04/06/2021 23:49

Thank you. I have never told a soul about this and kind words from strangers mean the world.

RhubarbCustardy · 04/06/2021 23:51

I know of someone who can't stand her older sister but unbeknown to her is actually her mother. I was told in confidence in a professional capacity. Often think how sad that is.

GiraffeWithSwag · 04/06/2021 23:52

Have just (well this week) completed my core development training to become a Samaritans listening volunteer. Should be in branch with my mentor in the next week to ten days

FuckUcuntychops · 04/06/2021 23:52

The fart in the crowded lift at work was me Grin

neroforte · 04/06/2021 23:54

@GiraffeWithSwag

Have just (well this week) completed my core development training to become a Samaritans listening volunteer. Should be in branch with my mentor in the next week to ten days
it must be a hard job at the expense of your own well-being and emotions sometimes. thank you for putting yourself out there to help other people and i know you will do well, and i hope it doesn't effect you in too bad of a way.
Rejoiningperson · 04/06/2021 23:54

Good luck @GiraffeWithSwag I was a Samaritan for a few years. It was a while ago and even more ‘secret’ then, I couldn’t even tell the people I lived with. One of the better charities I’ve ever worked with though.

BoysTownGang · 04/06/2021 23:56

My DP served time for manslaughter. I doesn’t bother me at all. He is not yet divorced, so I am ‘the other woman’
I never thought I would be in this situation.

Vivacious · 04/06/2021 23:56

I thought Mick Jagger was all one name - McJagger. Like Madonna.

HarryDavidj · 04/06/2021 23:56

Some very sad stories and states of mind. Thanks
Mine is very trivial and shallow, not even interesting and may not be properly classed as a secret but it is something I wouldn't say out loud, not least because I'm a feminist.

My first H left. He had an affair - she came to our house pretty much to do a reccie on me, the house, how much of a challenge it would be getting him to leave & so on.
She thought she was getting a real high flyer & I suppose his salary was good.

Few years down the line she sets her sights on her next prize, only unfortunately this time

Rejoiningperson · 04/06/2021 23:58

@LunaNimbus bloody hell. You had it tough. Might be worth contacting a solicitor or a charity to go through with you what going to the police might entail and help you access additional support like counseling or practical advice now. So you are prepared.

Crunchymum · 04/06/2021 23:59

I don't know anyone called Dave. Except "Dave the cat" next door (who is female!)
.

footloosenfancyfree · 05/06/2021 00:01

Couple of million in the bank. Live very normal lives....nothing overly flash. Only few close family and friends know. We are financial secure for life (both early 50’s) and kids too (23 & 21 although both have great jobs and solid degrees behind them).Reassuring to know that our parents can be cared for as they reach old age too. Not a boast just a secret we don’t share.