Small things that are big tells

[SisterAgatha]

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too.

Anyone else spot these little things?

People who hate swearing and use the term "potty mouth"; they're normally fine with racism, misogyny and homophobia though.

@crochetmonkey74, I want to stab the twinkly surfer. What a total twat. Its sort of almost low level bullying isn't it? A massive sense of entitlement and absolutley zero empathy. Hateful.

If someone is constantly referring to incidents where they've issued a witty put down or called out something sexist / "not okay" they may actually be a fantasist and the vast majority of these episodes are in their head. No one comes up against unreasonable or unkind behaviour THAT often surely. I say this as the person I know who used to do it really hadn't done all these things, I'd been in uni with her most days and she wouldn't say boo to a goose. Her current twitter feed makes her come across like wonder woman.

I judge people who don't drink tea or coffee but I couldn't tell you why! It just feels a bit infantile not to. Yes IABU!

Anyone who “tells it how it is”
“Is too kind hearted”
“Too giving”

Is not a nice person

I don't have a dog but honestly do believe that dogs can sense good people. Best test of character? Introduce them to your dog

Continuing the dog theme - people who let their dogs run unleashed when there are other people (dogs) around. Those are the kind of people who have the biggest sense of entitlement.

Also, people who park in blue badge spaces when they don’t have a badge.

People with personalised number plates.

People who read shite "newspapers" eg. Daily Mail, The Sun etc

People who "tell it like it is" usually just awful people who put others down!

* Bad listeners, red flag for sure*

Or the person talking just incessantly talks about themselves and it utterly disinterested in any one else

People who say they can't make friends ... and then there is a list of why they can't join various organisations, can't do volunteering, won't leave the DC at the weekend, don't like going to the cinema, have unfriendly neighbours etc etc. In other words they aren't prepared to put themselves out in the slightest and seem to think a best friend is going to come to knocking at their door which they won't answer anyway as so many mumsnetters don't like answering the door.

Watch how people treat their siblings

My sisters a total social butterfly but she’s a horrible little narcissist with a hugely nasty streak and none of her three siblings have much to do with her. I often wonder if her friends are through that!

Massive red flag surely!

I agree with the previous post that said women who say they get on with men better and don't have any female friends. It's always because they are horrible and women can see right through them

Interesting the dog thing......one of the biggest twats ( family member) I have have ever encountered made a great show of the bloody dog.
Adored his dog, vile and cruel to most humans.

@ichundich

People who slag off their own friends; you can be absolutely certain that they will do the same thing to you

The sort of people somebody likes to hang out with

How somebody dresses

How generous / stingy somebody is

I not get number 2 and 3?

Do not

The "I don't mean to be rude but..." - I squashed this very quickly when my Yr6 DD came home from school with this phrase - no it doesn't give you license to be rude, and you won't have many friends if you carry on like that!

Women who say they prefer to have men as friends.

@sadperson16

Interesting the dog thing......one of the biggest twats ( family member) I have have ever encountered made a great show of the bloody dog. Adored his dog, vile and cruel to most humans.

Yes I have encountered similar

Wonderful kind to animals
Abhorrent to his wife and children

@TeenMinusTests

Anyone who tries not to go equals on a restaurant bill.

This has come up a couple of times.

I'll counter it with: Anyone who has the starter and the dessert as well as the most expensive main, and extras, and a bottle of wine, who then says that the bill should be split equally with people who have spent way less.

Agree. Also not everyone has the same income. Some people may not be able to afford to split a bill when the wine was £50 and chosen by the other person.

Someone early in this thread mentioned monologuers. I had a meeting with a woman last week who, during the course of almost two hours monopolised the conversation with incessant claptrap about how great she was at her job, how no-one ever takes her 'good advice' from a professional standpoint and how much experience she has in our field.

She talked over both my colleague & I on several occasions whilst we just sat there like spare pricks at a wedding for the duration. When we left the meeting, we were both absolutely silent for a full minute - just enjoying the quiet!

I cannot bear people like that - they just waffle on and on, patronise everyone around them as being somehow inferior compared to their own vast experience, ask NO questions of anyone else and act as though the entire world will crumble without their oh-so valuable input.

I REALLY wish I could just have said; 'You talk WAY too much and I'm bored sitting here listening to you'. But, of course, I didn't!

@ufucoffee

I agree with the previous post that said women who say they get on with men better and don't have any female friends. It's always because they are horrible and women can see right through them

And they generally are seen as an annoying pest by their male “friends”

'I believe in brutal honesty' = I'm basically a bitch. (or a bastard, before anyone accuses me of misogyny.)

@Tabitha005

Someone early in this thread mentioned monologuers. I had a meeting with a woman last week who, during the course of almost two hours monopolised the conversation with incessant claptrap about how great she was at her job, how no-one ever takes her 'good advice' from a professional standpoint and how much experience she has in our field.

She talked over both my colleague & I on several occasions whilst we just sat there like spare pricks at a wedding for the duration. When we left the meeting, we were both absolutely silent for a full minute - just enjoying the quiet!

I cannot bear people like that - they just waffle on and on, patronise everyone around them as being somehow inferior compared to their own vast experience, ask NO questions of anyone else and act as though the entire world will crumble without their oh-so valuable input.

I REALLY wish I could just have said; 'You talk WAY too much and I'm bored sitting here listening to you'. But, of course, I didn't!

This meeting What was the dynamic? Ie client? Colleague?

'I'm old fashioned' 'I'm old school'. Cut them a wide berth and when it comes to dating, don't go out with them at all.

@OldWivesTale

People who hate swearing and use the term "potty mouth"; they're normally fine with racism, misogyny and homophobia though.

I don't like swearing, it's unprofessional when you are in the workplace and requires extra effort on social media - it's not like dropping something on your foot and it just comes out. It has no bearing on whether people are racist, sexist or anything else.

@Sometimesfraught82 - she's a colleague from a company in an industry closely aligned to my own.