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Small things that are big tells

679 replies

SisterAgatha · 03/06/2021 14:38

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too. Wink

Anyone else spot these little things?

OP posts:
Grellbunt · 05/06/2021 10:00

So by your logic someone non white can never be accused of insincerity or similar character flaws? You have absolutely no idea if I'm a racist or not.

Sometimesfraught82 · 05/06/2021 10:01

@BertramLacey

I wonder what small thing it is about Megan Markle that some people find so difficult.

Actually, I don't. People who declare it's nothing to do with her ethnicity go in the 'I'm not racist but...' bucket.

For me it was the daft daft comment that she went to the royal office HR and said she needed mental health support.

As. Fuc@ing. If.

the80sweregreat · 05/06/2021 10:08

My mum wasn't keen on the Queen's mother.
She thought she was fake and would have bailed out straight away if the Germans had invaded the UK in WW2! ( they all probably would have been spirited away to be fair ) my mum never fell for the whole ' in it together' thing during the war time or that they had to be rationed any food or water!
It was just Royal propaganda !

DoesSheDoesntShe · 05/06/2021 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

darksideofthemooncup · 05/06/2021 10:11

I work with someone who constantly tells us that she isn't at all judgemental. She is possibly the most judgemental person I have ever met

DoesSheDoesntShe · 05/06/2021 10:12

BTW, I’m talking about people in all walks of life in my last post. Not just about MM.

BertramLacey · 05/06/2021 10:13

So by your logic someone non white can never be accused of insincerity or similar character flaws? You have absolutely no idea if I'm a racist or not.

They could be, and indeed they might actually be insincere. The question is why, in this context, does it even occur to someone to mention Markle? Why bring her up at all? I haven't met her personally so don't feel qualified to comment on what she's like. I have seen press coverage of her in the UK and I find it utterly bizarre and absolutely nasty.

On a thread about small things giving you a hint as to the bigger picture, laying into Markle is something of a tell for me. Why do it? Why get that worked up about her? She's an actress who married a royal. Move along, nothing to see here.

KarensGobbyChops · 05/06/2021 10:16

@Shikamiri

I worked with a woman who said that she would never offer a pregnant woman a seat. She is one of the most unpleasant people I have ever met.
Did she add she was just calling 'a spade a spade' 'telling it like it is' by any chance?
Sometimesfraught82 · 05/06/2021 10:19

@TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain

**
When I'm at work, I pick up on people's body language all the time. One indicator of shiftiness is a stranger who makes unnecessary eye contact with me.**

But how are you proved correct? They’re strangers

Sometimesfraught82 · 05/06/2021 10:20

When I'm at work, I pick up on people's body language all the time. One indicator of shiftiness is a stranger who makes unnecessary eye contact with me.

But how are you proved correct? They’re strangers

DoesSheDoesntShe · 05/06/2021 10:26

The question is why, in this context, does it even occur to someone to mention Markle? Why bring her up at all? I haven't met her personally so don't feel qualified to comment on what she's like. I have seen press coverage of her in the UK and I find it utterly bizarre and absolutely nasty.

Probably my fault.
Someone posted that people who gesticulate with their hand on their heart are sincere.
I posted a picture of Trump with his hand on his heart and another poster put up a picture of MM with her hand on her heart.

If the same applies to Trump. Well, I haven't met him personally so maybe shouldn’t feel qualified to comment on what he’s like.
I have seen press coverage of him in the UK and maybe he is actually a thoroughly decent man.

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 05/06/2021 10:31

@Chamomileteaplease

Someone who can't accept a compliment - issues with self esteem and annoying!
That's me, although I wouldn't say I'm annoying. It stems from being put down so badly I no longer know if someone is being kind or taking the piss!
Grellbunt · 05/06/2021 10:37

Maybe it's a US thing

Sometimesfraught82 · 05/06/2021 10:38

@Chamomileteaplease

Someone who can't accept a compliment - issues with self esteem and annoying!

Where do you live? In UK, this is very common. Often not self esteem (might still be annoying to you!), just modesty and not liking to show off.

KarensGobbyChops · 05/06/2021 10:48

@the80sweregreat

My mum wasn't keen on the Queen's mother. She thought she was fake and would have bailed out straight away if the Germans had invaded the UK in WW2! ( they all probably would have been spirited away to be fair ) my mum never fell for the whole ' in it together' thing during the war time or that they had to be rationed any food or water! It was just Royal propaganda !
They wouldn't have to have been spirited too far away anyway - given they are predominantly genetically German (or were).
ChocAuVin · 05/06/2021 10:54

@NoviceGardenLady

“Using the term 'female' as a noun is a massive red flag for me, especially when men do it.”

This. ☝️

So many truisms on this thread! Especially the driving / eating meat off the bone analogies with prowess as a lover Smile

BertramLacey · 05/06/2021 11:02

@DoesSheDoesntShe personally I see a big difference between examining the morality of the president of the US, and of an actor married to a man who is 6th in line to the British throne. Trump should have been carefully examined. Markle? Meh, who cares, and why? I find it interesting to contrast the way the British press treat her and the way they treat Prince Andrew. It says a lot about vested power and interests.

DoesSheDoesntShe · 05/06/2021 11:55

[quote BertramLacey]@DoesSheDoesntShe personally I see a big difference between examining the morality of the president of the US, and of an actor married to a man who is 6th in line to the British throne. Trump should have been carefully examined. Markle? Meh, who cares, and why? I find it interesting to contrast the way the British press treat her and the way they treat Prince Andrew. It says a lot about vested power and interests.[/quote]
Last one as it derails the thread.

  1. Any member of the British Royal family -high ranking.
  2. Prince A has been slated in the British press. He keeps his head right down nowadays and cannot do public visits/tours anymore.
Confusedandshaken · 05/06/2021 12:06

@BreakingtheIce

So it’s not possible to have a happy and normal childhood then?
Of course it is. I'd like to think it was the norm. But if somebody comes to therapy and responds to questions about their childhood by insisting that it was 100% happy and normal with no issues or problems it rings alarm bells.
Notthenever · 05/06/2021 12:14

Sadly, I have learnt that any man who calls himself a feminist is anything but. The three men I have had relationships with who called themselves feminists treated me as far less human than the men who didn't feel the need to label themselves in this way.

ChaToilLeam · 05/06/2021 12:31

Anyone who describes themselves as:

  • a people person
  • zany
  • someone who speaks their mind

is generally quite unbearable and to be avoided.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 05/06/2021 12:50

[quote Sometimesfraught82]@TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain

**
When I'm at work, I pick up on people's body language all the time. One indicator of shiftiness is a stranger who makes unnecessary eye contact with me.**

But how are you proved correct? They’re strangers[/quote]
I work in law enforcement, so I get to check.

I agree with whoever said upthread about men who refer to women as "females", as if we're animals.

CrazyNeighbour · 05/06/2021 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 05/06/2021 13:01

@Notthenever this is for you.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/06/2021 13:02

[quote AloneInTheRoom]@HowToBringABlushToTheSnow I used to have a neighbour who loathed the Queen Mother, he maintained she spent the war years expecting her staff to eat within the law as far as rations etc went, but didn't expect to obey the law herself. And a different person (didn't know my neighbour) always said she was a modern-day Marie Antoinette in a "let them eat cake" sort of way.[/quote]
Off topic but I’m interested in your comments about the Q Mother, can you tell us why you think this? I kind of always thought there was something off with her which is why I’m particularly interested in your comment.

I have read a few biographies about her (well - one was hagiography), but even the one in her favour dropped little snippets that implied that she wasn't a very nice person - was bad-tempered, greedy, self-serving, and very, very spiteful. She bore a grudge for decades (as we saw regarding Wallis Simpson) and would do her best to get her own back for any slight, real or imagined. She was also very mean - she would often "admire" something in someone's home, and would then expect to be given it as a gift.

As Snow has said - she expected other people to obey rules she didn't see herself, was notoriously mean, and drank like fish. I can only imagine that she lived so long because she was pickled in gin!

I read (more than one source) that one of the reasons she resented Wallis Simpson so much was that she had had designs on the Prince of Wales herself, but he wan't interested in her (he preferred his flings with married women, and he liked a different "type" to her). She gave up on him and married his younger brother and was infuriated when Wallis nabbed him.

So of course, she blamed the abdication and the stress of the throne for causing the King's cancer - nothing to do with the chain-smoking at all! He had several smoking related diseases, including chronic bronchitis, and had narrowly avoided amputation of a leg and a number of fingers due to hardened arteries.