Small things that are big tells

[SisterAgatha]

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too.

Anyone else spot these little things?

People who whip out a calculator at the end of a shared dinner are invariably tightarses, and usually the wealthiest at the table.

People in a group who order the most expensive meal possible, loads of bottles of wine that they drink mostly then suggest 'Let's just split the bill'.

Is this an 'unpopular opinions' thread in disguise? Same old, same old.

I always think that some people seem almost visionary about other people, yet are utterly myopic when it comes to themselves. They're to be found on threads just like this, dishing out.

OP's first post was interesting though.

Not sure if this has been mentioned. But when someone cant look you in the eye or give you little eye contact when speaking. Something is up.

There's a stereotype that this means deceitfulness, but not always bu any means. It could mean shyness, preoccupation, visual difficulties, autistic traits, or coming from a culture which discourages too much eye contact.

I think this thread points out where I am going wrong. I take a lot of advice from them, as to how to act because I have ADHD, only recently diagnosed, so before I was on the backfoot as well. I'm always trying to understand what to do or say as well as trying my hardest to listen to what people have to say or what their interests are.
I compliment people and try to find something to praise after going on a course where it was recommended. Maybe I come across as disingenuous or loud.
People, as a group, are so hard to understand.

I'll add. People who post those memes on social media ordering people to be kind, or telling me their door is open. Automatic red flag. I'd NEVER tell them anything. Well, I don't tell anyone really. I save it for mumsnet! There was a particularly annoying one, "Being my friend is realising that I may take 1 minute or one month to reply to you." That makes me paranoid and I made a note to never message that person again.

Another, photos. Why all the photos everytime people move? Going out for the day and then uploading 40 photos to facebook makes me think that all they did was snap away while the children played on their own. Ice cream - take a pic. Sandcastle - take 3 pics at various stages. Went for a wee - 6 pictures and a long text about how the queue was so long and some pregnant woman pushed in, but she got told.
The people posting memes and the photos often do it concurrently. They're all on mute since I use fb to be a member of various groups, but curiosity gets the better of me sometimes.

@mobear

Ignoring animals.

I tend to ignore animals, I wasn't brought up with them and they don't interest me. This doesn't make me a bad person, I would never ignore one in trouble, I just don't fit in that particular box! FAr too many people think more of their animals than they do of the animals they gave birth to!

Another where I am going wrong, "We'll pay for our own shall we?" When out for drinks and a meal. I'll remember to split it, should I?

[quote SkodaKodiaq]**@Letsallscreamatthesistene* Every person ive known to be very picky around food (not due to allergies) has been a general PITA in life.*

Erm, that's quite a broad stereotype Also utter bullshit! [/quote]
@skodakodiaq is it bullshit? Are you able to comment on my experiences? I dont think you are.

Ill add another - people who completely dismiss someones experiences because they dont believe them.

People who "don't want to be a trouble" and cause no end of disruption

I agree on that; but there's also the other side of the coin: people who 'want to be hospitable' and will pressurize people again and again to eat/ eat more and not take no for an answer, and get offended if people don't eat everything that they're offered. Sometimes even refusing to believe in people's allergies or digestive illnesses, let alone just that they're full.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Is this an 'unpopular opinions' thread in disguise? Same old, same old.

I always think that some people seem almost visionary about other people, yet are utterly myopic when it comes to themselves. They're to be found on threads just like this, dishing out.

OP's first post was interesting though.

It was good in the beginning, but its turned into a 'people who I dont like' thread. The idea behind it was great though.

@ufucoffee

I agree with the previous post that said women who say they get on with men better and don't have any female friends. It's always because they are horrible and women can see right through them

No, that is not 'always' the case. Sometimes, but not always.

Although I do have to say that when sentiments like this are voiced it really illustrates how ready some women are to believe the worst of other women. There's quite an irony to that imho.

@bringincrazyback I agree that most women who say that they like men best - are self centred and love attention. I say that because it’s women telling me, a woman, that they get on with men better. And so really putting off any friendship.

If they were really were someone who had only male friends, but were open to me being a woman as a friend, they would just converse with me. It’s the needing to ‘tell’ which I find is a very competitive statement!

Starting a sentence with ' to be honest with you ... '. Were you going to lie to me?

A Union or St George’s flag on someone’s social media usually sets my ‘massive horrible racist’ klaxon off.

But not a Welsh or Scottish flag though?

Interesting. You are what I would call a plain old bigoted racist and someone who is happy to stereotype someone based on a very small thing that may or may not mean what you have decided it does. How very ironic.

@Snuggleworm

Trying out the quote thing so apologies if my last two messages are a bit confusing :) I was trying to quote the other poster who said that people who give compliments do not mean it.

I do not think that true.

I agree. I complimented people because I genuinely mean it.

Also, I grew up being told that I'm not good enough, been told something positive, even if it's just 'I like your dress' would make a massive difference to how I was feeling.

[quote Tabitha005]@Sometimesfraught82 - she's a colleague from a company in an industry closely aligned to my own.[/quote]
You and your colleague have her two hours of your time to sit and listen to her?

You could have surely wrapped things up professionally? Wasn’t like you needed to sweet talk her into buying anything etc

@SkodaKodiaq

Argh.

It’s not the act of working out the bill I find telling. It’s the manner in which it’s done. As I’ve said before.

And I’ve never relied on a man to pay for anything for me in my life, via credit card or any other means.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Is this an 'unpopular opinions' thread in disguise? Same old, same old.

I always think that some people seem almost visionary about other people, yet are utterly myopic when it comes to themselves. They're to be found on threads just like this, dishing out.

OP's first post was interesting though.

Yes, indeed. A lot of amateur psychologists and some rather anti-autistic comments also that can only be excused by ignorance. Have we had people with green eyes are jealous yet?

People who don’t clean up their own mess in a fast food restaurant.

@BlueBlancmange you put that so well!

@sadperson16

neurodiversity my arse.

Just rudeness and self absorbed

Well, some people ARE neurodiverse. And concentration can be one of the problems there.

Having said that, neurodiverse people (just like other members of the human race) need to work on some of the stuff they find difficult. Unless they live entirely alone on a desert island.

Men who have a sob story about their ex partner and say horrible things about them

It's the man that almost always ends up being the bad egg.

@lanbro

People who post memes about their door always being open or post #bekind are usually the last people you'd turn to and often horrible bullies.

Yes, agree completely.

Be Kind - seen many unkind people using this. Not sure they've ever understood what the word means. Why would they associate with the words when most people are aware of their real characters?

@Susannahmoody

I don't have a dog but honestly do believe that dogs can sense good people. Best test of character? Introduce them to your dog

Do you know what I think you're right

Anyone who really enjoyed the Dan Brown TheDa Vinci Code books

@AgnesNaismith

Wearing a mask but having it under your nose. Or worse, lodged under your chin. Selfish cunts.

Me today in Sainsbury’s!