Small things that are big tells

[SisterAgatha]

Just for fun, what are the little things you notice about people that actually tell you quite a lot about their nature.

I noticed last week that whenever we go for dinner with my SIL she always assumes the first meal that comes out is hers. Even if it’s very obviously not. And if you order the same thing, she practically snatches the one that is served first. Lots of eye balling peoples dinner to check no one has got anything she ordered. I can definitely extend this behaviour in to other areas of her life too.

Anyone else spot these little things?

@LoveIsTheLight

I agree with you! My sandwiches are generally messy but my house is methodical and organized. I just feel like making a sandwich is a waste of my time so I throw something together so I have time for the more important stuff

I'd rather be that way round!

Men who are fussy and picky with food are generally shit in bed.

why is it that why say ‘they prefer male company’ a red flag - a female I work with says it and there is something about her I can’t stand but I wonder what is she actually SAYING when she says this

I don't think it's a red flag. There are still things that stereotypically interest men, and those which stereotypically interest women, so if you don't like clothes/shoes/make-up and do like football, you may generally prefer the company of men.

@BigSandyBalls2015

Men who are fussy and picky with food are generally shit in bed.

I really don't have enough experience to tell

@OldWivesTale

People who hate swearing and use the term "potty mouth"; they're normally fine with racism, misogyny and homophobia though.

I had never noticed that before, but it is true!

People who say 'I'm not interested in money, money doesn't matter to me'. You know you're talking to a liar.

I lived for a year or two out in West Wales in an area where a lot of old hippies had settled. They used to float being all spiritual and proclaiming that money didn't matter. Then you'd find out that they owned half-a-dozen buy-to-lets and treated their tenants badly, or were building houses in their back gardens without planning permission, or were on long-term sickness benefit and also working. They were the most selfish, sly, hypocritical, money-fixated people I'd ever encountered —and all while pretending to be so spiritual and beyond worldly things.

People who say ‘charity begins at home’ invariably find it difficult to part with their own shit and wouldn’t know charity if it hit them over the head.

Using the term 'female' as a noun is a massive red flag for me, especially when men do it.

If someone frequently complains that people are 'very rude' to them I know it's because they themselves come across rudely.

@Chicchicchicchiclana

Empaths ... it's a problem because they make it all about them.

Monologuers ... they just aren't interested in you.

People who say you are jealous that you can't afford x, y, z ... not terribly deep thinking.

I think people who tell you they are empaths are quite possibly not.

People who tell little lies, when it would be just as easy to be truthful. Hate it.
And as a lot of people have said ... People who get all moany and stressed about money but refuse to take responsibility for the fact they waste it on useless tat. SO ANNOYING.

@NoviceGardenLady

Using the term 'female' as a noun is a massive red flag for me, especially when men do it.

Yes!

Yep any type of mammal can be a 'female' ( well 50% of them).

Only a human can be a 'woman' - it's like reducing women to cattle.

Saying that I had a massive soft spot for Paul Ritter from Friday Night Dinner, so his character is forgiven.

@DoesSheDoesntShe

Basically people who like to tell you and anyone who will listen what their most endearing qualities are. Is usually BS.

I’ll do anything for anybody
These people rarely do.

‘I’m friends with everyone, I don’t judge’
They’re the most judgemental person ever.

*I’m easygoing’
Very rarely are.

Those phrases are like the warning rattle on a rattle snake - take heed or you'll be bitten.

‘I’m humble I am’

The minute you say you are, you’re not.

@looptheloopinahulahoop

why is it that why say ‘they prefer male company’ a red flag - a female I work with says it and there is something about her I can’t stand but I wonder what is she actually SAYING when she says this

I don't think it's a red flag. There are still things that stereotypically interest men, and those which stereotypically interest women, so if you don't like clothes/shoes/make-up and do like football, you may generally prefer the company of men.

I don't think that's the reason in general. I think it's more internalised misogyny. I think it's the idea that male interests and male company are superior. It's basically all about doing down women as we've been taught to do, but also the speaker trying to extricate themselves from it.

People who whip out a calculator at the end of a shared dinner are invariably tightarses, and usually the wealthiest at the table.

But also:
People who say 'shall we just split the bill equally?' are invariably the ones who have had several alcoholic drinks, a starter, main and pudding, compared to my fizzy water (driving) and salad.

@Nietzschethehiker

I'm one of those bosses with multiple devices a large water bottle and large pad.

It's because of my disabilities. main one being deaf.

People who are rude to service staff, so sales assistants, waiters, bar staff, taxi drivers etc. There was a woman in my choir who I thought was lovely until we went out for a meal one Christmas and she was so rude to the waitress it turned me right off her and I gave her a wide berth after that. It shows a really superior attitude I think.

Also I was turned off a work colleague who I’d also thought was lovely. We worked in a school and this rather eccentric woman came in on supply and she made fun of her and called her a weirdo etc. Bare in mind we were working in a special needs unit with children who’d grow up ‘different’ I was gobsmacked. She then revealed more unlikable traits such a tendency for drama, being two faced etc.

People who don't have their camera on for work video meetings ever. It has been a while to get used to the technology already. We have means of hiding the background now. Woeful self-esteem issues.

People generally in the work environment who harp on about being 'open and transparent' I have experienced to be the shadiest people I have come across.

If you have to announce this; it is not telling from your actions.

Ridiculously fussy shoes (they tend to be complete bores)
Faffers (DH is a faffer and I can just about tolerate one in my life)

@Shedbuilder

People who say 'I'm not interested in money, money doesn't matter to me'. You know you're talking to a liar.

I lived for a year or two out in West Wales in an area where a lot of old hippies had settled. They used to float being all spiritual and proclaiming that money didn't matter. Then you'd find out that they owned half-a-dozen buy-to-lets and treated their tenants badly, or were building houses in their back gardens without planning permission, or were on long-term sickness benefit and also working. They were the most selfish, sly, hypocritical, money-fixated people I'd ever encountered —and all while pretending to be so spiritual and beyond worldly things.

I once lent a family member some money, not a huge amount but not insignificant either, just over £100. They were not forthcoming about paying it back so I requested it. Upon which they protested and told me I was obsessed with money. I dunno, I kind of think the person asking to borrow money with no intention of paying it back might be the one slightly more obsessed with money, but maybe that's just my misperception.

People who make sweeping generalisations about a person based on small things