On holiday in uk, dp is ill (not covid) and its all a mess **MNHQ title edit to suggest reading whole thread before responding***

[ghostmouse]

Holiday was moved from last year to this year and now I'm here im having a shit time.

Dp is ill, sudden gall bladder trouble and in pain and indigestion all the time. 3 strong lots of antibiotics and he's no better, tired all the time, lost weight as he can't keep much down.

I'm upset because I hate seeing him from going from a fit and active man to one who is sleeping a lot. The kids dds 9 and 11 know there's something wrong but they don't know what. Theres talk of ultrasounds and ct scans..I'm convinced he has cancer.

We shouldn't have come but dp wanted to. I'm going to the very limited shows with the kids but most of it is prebooked the whole atmosphere just isn't the same..just not the same.

I could cry (no judging) just going to drink a large glass of wine instead

Thinking of you both.

Very sorry to hear this. Hope the biopsy results don’t show cancer. Hang in there.

This is so awful for you both ghostmouse, sending strength and prayers.

I hope his gp has been informed; what were they thinking?

Thinking of you and your family. You are very strong

Oh ghost mouse, so sorry to read this. I’m glad they have finally figured it out so that he can start treatment. Sending you strength and love and hope that it can be treated quickly xxx

Oh no so sorry, I hope they take it all seriously now and the GP is aware.

Also meant to say you sound a warrior by his side, I hope you also have support.

Thinking of you both.

I know it's still early days, and you will be in fire fighting mode to get through it all.

Please Don't neglect neglect your own needs, take some time to look after yourself too. You ' can't pour from an empty pitcher '. All the best.

I'm not doing so good

Its a big tumour. Biopsy results not back for 5 to 10 days

But he's remarkably well and he should be able to come home for a few days until results are back and we know whats what.

I've done normal things. I've taken the dog for a clip, gone food shopping and I'm now home alone and falling apart

Oh @ghostmouse, I am so sorry. With the trauma of the last few days, let alone the news of yesterday you have done so amazingly well. Is your Mum around? I think you said she lived close by before. Do reach out to her or someone close to give that ‘in person’ support. The not knowing must be incredibly difficult to deal with. I hope you can get your dp home later - I’m so glad his pain is being managed effectively. I’m sending unmumsnetty hugs to you and yours. 💐💐

She does. My mum lives about 5 miles away and has been great. I've stayed there for the last couple of nights and the dc have gone to thier dads also so I've had some breathing space.

I cant settle to anything, tried to sleep and woke up in a panic, heart pounding

Oh you poor thing, yes, I'd ring your Mum, ask her to come round? You are probably in shock to be honest. I would be, certainly. You have done all the functional necessary things on automatic pilot, like dog and food shopping and are now dealing with all the worry.

Well, glass of wine? Bath? I'd go with glass of wine to be honest.

This waiting but is really the worse time, once you get a plan you will hopefully start feeling better. Is he still coming home tonight ?

Macmillan cancer support phone line is open every day of the year from 8-8 if you need someone outside of friends and family to talk to.

They have an online community on their website too if you want anon support there.

0808 808 00 00 free number.

Echo the Macmillan support line, they’re great
Sending love to you OP, it’s impossibly hard

So sorry to read your update. Sending love. Remember you are in shock and be kind to yourself.

I think if you can't sleep maybe take a lovely notebook and start to write some lists. What are you priorities? What needs to happen? (get married)

Make a bucket list of things you want to do together, so good or bad news, you've got something good to turn your mind to.

Now would be a good time to update your wills and anything outstanding like that.

POA etc something to look into.

I hope that you don't take this in a morbid way because I don't mean it like that but it's good to have a reminder. Mine was CoVid.

Thinking of you both. Such a shock. Xx

x

I’m so sorry it was bad news. Thinking of you

So very sorry OP, take care of yourself as well ❤.

Thinking of you

Thinking of you and your DP. 💐

Nothing useful to add but 💐 for you.