Living well is the best revenge

[DelilahTheParrot]

I came across this the other day, “living well is the best revenge”, and it struck SUCH a chord in the context of a difficult friendship situation I’m in right now. I think a “friend” is trying to push me out of a group, and am trying to imagine how different ways I could handle it might play out. This has reminded me that rather than burning bridges, my friendships with the others in the group will be stronger if I’m being positive about what matters to me rather than negative about what doesn’t.

Rather than bore you with the details of that though, it made me wonder.

What similar quotes / phrases / sayings have really struck a chord with you and changed the way you think about things. A mantra maybe, or just something that helps you to keep perspective and focus on life. And why?

Should have put in AIBU for responses!

Sometimes you just happen to read something at the right time for you. I had that this morning when I walked into a country park where there was a gatehouse with the motto 'I am ready. Gang (go) forward' carved in the masonry.

Very true @suggestionsplease1. Why did that resonate with you today?

A good boss once said ' begin by believing people are acting with good intentions'. This really helped me think more positively.

@DelilahTheParrot

Very true *@suggestionsplease1*. Why did that resonate with you today?

Too long and boring a story, but suffice to say - feeling ready has been a long time in the coming!

'You always have a choice'

For me that came about when I was struggling with work and somehow that phrase keeps me going in all situations

Thank you, I needed to hear that!

Going through something similar, I’ve just walked away from a friendship and it’s the hardest thing x

@Stichintime that’s a good one, I like it and I’m definitely guilty of not doing that enough.

@suggestionsplease1 glad you saw it when you needed to!

@BroomHandledMouser so sorry to hear that, it’s really hard isn’t it. It helped me which is why I wanted to share.

@bigbaggyeyes another good one. I used to say to myself these things are sent to try us all the time too, maybe to give myself time to then try to make a choice, if that makes sense?

'Love many, trust few, learn to paddle your own canoue'.

Best revenge is not to give them the time in your head to seek it or need it.

I didn't make that up but I read it somewhere once and it stuck a chord.
I have a very eyeroll and move on attitude. Trying to not give my mental real estate to others jerkiness is very freeing.

If things don't change, they'll stay as they are.

Always makes me consider whether a decision is worth taking: makes you consider whether you'd be happy not doing it iyswim

Cheesy perhaps but "the race is long, and in the end only with yourself".

@PoTheDog a good one but important to remember that change might come from 1) you doing something 2) other people / things around you doing something, and you doing nothing.

Another one, god they’re all coming back to me.

the days are long but the years are short when it comes to bringing up children

the days are long but the years are short - wish I’d realised that 30 years ago

The one that always resonates with me is ‘If you want to know what a person is, look at what they do and not what they say’.

[quote DelilahTheParrot]@PoTheDog a good one but important to remember that change might come from 1) you doing something 2) other people / things around you doing something, and you doing nothing.

Another one, god they’re all coming back to me.

the days are long but the years are short when it comes to bringing up children [/quote]
Exactly, that's the beauty of it! Change happens, it's up to you how much control over it you want at that given moment

"Done is better than perfect"

Rather than get hung up about whether something looks 'professional', ask if it's good enough.

Attempting many different bits of DIY around the house for the first time, I was always too stressed about the finished outcome.

Can it be smoothed over and painted? If yes, then it's not bad.

Does it leak? No? Then it's good enough.

Is the water getting in? If no, then it's good enough.

No one ever said on their deathbed: 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office'

Never attribute to conspiracy what can be adequately explained by cock up.

I genuinely think this is true and it means that I face the world with happiness and optimism.

One of my favourite ones ‘it’ll all be alright in the end, if it’s not alright then it’s not the end’ said to me by a lovely work colleague when I was stressing over something relatively minor. Always makes me feel better though in every day life, no matter how hard things feel sometimes there will be brighter times ahead.

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through with your friend. Falling out with friends can hurt for a long time. I went through a similar thing a few years back and I was shocked by how much it affected me mentally.

As for the quote, this image came up on my daily quotes app the other day. Very apt because I'm sailing in a comfort zone out of fear at the minute.

The other is "ships are safe at harbour but that's not what ships were made for."

If you keep looking back, your past becomes your future

Some of these really are great, please keep them coming

When I wondered with absolute confusion, how can a woman of nearly fifty (my age too) not be embarrassed to give me and just me the silent treatment! While love bombing all others around us?! This helped

''“How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life.” – Marcus Aurelius

And although this could display ego, I did get satisfaction from being a better person than the woman who felt the need to exclude me.
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” – Marcus Aurelius

If only we had the power to feel like this! It can come. I feel a lot stronger now than before I was excluded. My bully is the same person she ever was.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” – Marcus Aurelius

If I could go back to the point when I first noticed it though I might say ''Bekki, I feel like you're so warm to everybody else and very cold to me. is that your intention?''. Just shone a bit of light on it. I think she would have behaved a bit better. Would have sensed I had more backbone than she thought. But as it played out with me giving her the benefit of the doubt until it was too late and I was peripheral, then she just thought, yup, no backbone.

Thank you @AyyMacarena you’re right, it really plays with your mind doesn’t it and hurts very much