Living well is the best revenge

[DelilahTheParrot]

I came across this the other day, “living well is the best revenge”, and it struck SUCH a chord in the context of a difficult friendship situation I’m in right now. I think a “friend” is trying to push me out of a group, and am trying to imagine how different ways I could handle it might play out. This has reminded me that rather than burning bridges, my friendships with the others in the group will be stronger if I’m being positive about what matters to me rather than negative about what doesn’t.

Rather than bore you with the details of that though, it made me wonder.

What similar quotes / phrases / sayings have really struck a chord with you and changed the way you think about things. A mantra maybe, or just something that helps you to keep perspective and focus on life. And why?

'Don't ask Why? ask yourself Why not?' A lesson in not turning down an opportunity.

“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.“

'Love is actions and not words' said to me by a wise woman just after i found out my stbxh was shagging a mutual friend after treating me like shit for the last year. Begged me to take him back but refused to acknowledge how badly hed behaved. Off you fuck so.

'Theres light at the end of the tunnel but if you cant see it than you stomp down there and turn the fucker on yourself' the wonderful Sarah Millican. Made me laugh and i repeat this to myself regularly lol

"The root of joy is gratefulness."

I really believe gratitude is the key ingredient for a happy life, and an antidote to bitterness or jealousy. It's so easy to focus on what we don't have, but when I start to feel down about that I just try and focus on all the amazing blessings I DO have, and it really helps.

Love this thread. A few that really resonate with me (and ones that really help in certain situations) have already been said. Other than those I love

'You catch more bees with honey than vinegar'

This is so useful in so many situations. It affects how I deal work colleagues, my ex husband, in shops, my kids. I find it so useful

Don't look back. You're but going that way.

@MilduraS

Not so much a quote but when I worked in customer service my line manager told me to imagine the customer is having the worst day of their life. They can't scream at their boss, their spouse or their friends so instead they scream at the stranger on the phone. It completely changed my attitude to angry customers and my empathy helped improved most interactions. I stopped going home in a bad mood too.

That's a good tip. Nice to have a boss who is a human.

“Let go or be dragged.”

I come back to this one whenever I’m holding on to a past event which upsets me and that I can do nothing to change.

“Your whole life is made up of good days and bad days - don’t let either trick you into thinking that’s the way things will always be.”

Helpful for perspective

This will sound silly, but the cartoon movie, The Iron Giant. The main theme of the film is of choosing what kind of person we want to be, despite our circumstances or other people's requirements/expectations.

Sometimes I just think to myself, "You choose" and that's enough.

I have a few I live by!

The Isle of Man motto I love and I have the Manx symbol as a reminder on a necklace “whichever way you throw me I’ll land on my feet”.

I also love my old aunties saying “never trouble trouble, til’ trouble troubles you. It only doubles trouble and troubles others too”. Helps me less of a worrier and live in the moment.

Also

“Never make someone a priority when to them you are an option” great for dating

I like the live well one too. A podcast I heard the other day saying once they hit 40 they recognised that some people are fountains and some are drains. They distance themselves from drains and try and surround themselves with fountains aka good vibes.

For work i also love....Don't be intimidated by others. Their brilliance makes no impact on yours whatsoever. You be you. Don't worry so much about what others are doing.

Also, with regards striving and reaching
And punishing yourself and delaying rewards... 'you never arrive'. So just enjoy the present moment and do your best.

Don't stoop to other's levels.

'Don't fight with pigs, you'll both get dirty but the pigs enjoy it' (George Bernard Shaw)

Mines along the lines of
You can't stop the waves ...but you can learn to surf
Really helps me through anxiety and panic.

You don’t have to know it all.
You don’t have to do it all.
You just have to gather your courage, put your hand up, and say ‘I need help’

Every behaviour is a need trying to be met.

Honesty without tact is cruelty

Those who mind, don't matter. And those who matter, don't mind Basically, don't waste time worrying what random people think about you.

A life lived in fear is a life half lived Basically, so many people don't actually live they just exist. Don't be one of those people.

It's always a friend who hates you the most Basically, there are some seriously twisted people out there. Be aware.

Better a dinner of herbs, where love is - than a feast withal, but no love therein. Basically, money can buy comfort but it can't buy happiness or love.

When I was on the fence about forgiving my ex, I happened to see a poster that said: What you allow is what will continue.

It certainly stuck in my head.

If we winter this one out, we can summer anywhere Seamus Heaney. I found it particularly useful this winter!

No one ever said life was fair My Mum.

These are brilliant. Every one is striking a chord with me but especially the 'let go or be dragged'

I like

remember to smile

I always force myself smile before I go to sleep, even if it's been the worse day ever

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.

I came to post "The days are long but the years are short", but I see someone else has beaten me to it. I can make myself cry if I think about that one for long enough, and I am not usually crier!

One I have never agreed with is the one about no one regretting not spending more time in the office when they are on their deathbed. I get the sentiment, but I think many people (especially women who have side-lined their careers for motherhood) can definitely experience long-term regret over not investing more in their career and fulfilling their potential.

Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.
But what has happened has happened. And the water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again.
What has happened has happened. The water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again, but
Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.

• Bertold Brecht

I like Oscar Wilde’s “Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.”

Thanks for starting this thread @DelilahTheParrot. I’ve loved reading every post.

In regards to friendships breaking down, my favourite quote is, ‘it’s not you, it’s them.’

My favourite mantra is my own, which is “I will NEVER let another person’s opinion of me impact my belief in myself.” It’s a lifesaver when waiting for the outcome of a job interview, but equally applies to interpersonal relationships.