he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

You are unhappy. And he is unkind & uncaring & alot more besides. You should put yourself first from now. He won't get any better. You know this already. So what if Mr Right doesn't come along straight away. You'd be happier alone than being with this man.

You're not too old for a child yet. But he's wasting your time and ruining your life. You might be alone for a while you might meet someone new straight away. But one thing I learned during and immediately after my shitty relationship before I met DH is that feeling alone when you're actually IN a relationship is way worse than feeling alone when you're single.

You can do this.

I presume you're on here because really you KNOW how awful he is and you need to leave.

Regardless of whether you ever meet anyone else again, you need to be out of this. Plus, the sooner you leave and are free the sooner you even have a chance of meeting someone else.....so get on with it.

Every single day with him is a waste of your precious life.

It's scary doing it, but please screw up some courage and start planning the practicalities of this. Enlist some help and support from friends or family, prepare for it not to be easy but do it. Set yourself a deadline to have told him and a deadline for it all to be over.

Life will be so much better without him. This has to end and it's just a question of if you suffer him for weeks and months longer and then do it or get on with it now. Why wait ....he has to go.

How does it sound scarier to be alone, than being with someone that despises you? Genuine question.

You’ll be a million times happier when it’s just you and your friends. And if you haven’t got friends you can finally go out and make some. Think of the freedom, the relief being away from the nastiness.

Op you are worth so much more, and deserve so much better!

I escaped a situation that I put up with for too long, and now life is better. It is hard but possible.

Hope you find some helpful information from pp on here, but I just wanted to say plan your exit, and then keep going. Believe me staying it can only get worse, your life can begin again.

I can massively relate, I left my husband of 10 years in March last year, just before lockdown kicked off. It meant that I was stuck living with him for ages afterwards but I digress...

I am 36 too, 37 in July and it was a really hard decision to have made. We have 2 young children together too. It's a hard decision but I think you know that you'd be better off without him. Which you certainly would. And yes, it is very easy to say 'just leave him' but I know it's not as black and white as that.

What you need to remember is it will feel awful if and when you decide to go, but as the wise old saying goes, 'this too shall pass'. You will feel free and liberated for leaving this piece of shit behind. The feeling of sickness and dread will eventually go away, instead of being constantly there from being with this person.

So I would just like to say you must find the strength to get yourself out of this, before it's too late. You're at an age where you can easily start again with someone who deserves you and doesn't make you feel sick all the time.

I sincerely hope you manage to find happiness, life is too short to be with someone who doesn't make you feel like a partner.

Leave this horrible man and dont even consider having children with him. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Please leave him, he is horribly abusive.

The sooner you leave the better your chances of having a baby with someone else. However I strongly believe that being single for the rest of your life would be a happier future for you than staying with this awful man.

Look up the freedom program.

Talk to a trusted friend or relative and make a plan to leave safely.

He sounds horrible. Can I ask how well groomed he is? Is he amazingly good looking with a six pack?

37 is still too young to settle for a future with him - imagine growing old together.

Sorry he has been so nasty to you.

What’s sickening is he is so so charming to colleagues and friends. He’s really chatty and understanding and will build me up in front of them even if we argued ten minutes before. He’s an awful man.

This is typical behaviour of a manipulative abusive bully.

You really need to extricate yourself from this awful creature and raise your bar. Being on your own is better than being with someone who treats you like this

Imagine having a little girl with him thats what he would grow up wanting her to be.... a woman who keeps lip liner on for a man and waxes her asshole....fuck that.

Wow, get out and get away from the vile creature. He has no respect for you. As others have said leaving and thinking of starting over is hard and scary but is the alternative any better? Think of the beautiful life you will have without him and the relationship waiting for you.
37 isn’t old. I met my partner at 39 and we’ve just had a baby at 42.5. Your life is not over, it’s waiting to begin.

Leave precisely because you do want children. Leave for your future children. Have them alone if you need too. It WILL be easier for you and 100% better for them to not be wedded to this man for life.

Starting over will be hard, but not as hard as tolerating this for the rest of your life. I know you want a family, but would you want this horrible man anywhere near your children? Imagine how vile he'd be during pregnancy if you didn't want to do things his way?

Won't it be less scary to just please yourself & not be constantly waiting for the jibes from him?

Leave him, there is nothing scary about starting a new chapter in your life away from a c*nt like this. I do not even know how you could even sleep with him, if this was me it would make me dig my heels in even more.

Who cries during sex? Someone whose partner is an inconsiderate asshole, that's who.

And what they all said. Especially the bit about you being too lovely to deserve such poor treatment. (Although even if you were a bit shit yourself you still wouldn't deserve it and certainly wouldn't be obliged to put up with it.)

It's not easy to leave, but one day you will be so, so glad you did.

@wdjav Please (as many other have said,) PLEASE leave. You are worth so much more. He sounds horrible and abusive and vile.

At 37 you still have plenty of time to find someone new and start a family.
I was given a lecture by my GP this week when I was having a joke about contraception, and I'm 47! She said that women can still conceive into their early 50s! (not very common admittedly) but again, 37 is still young.
Having said that, please don't waste any more precious time on this vile, abusive man. Every new day that you are free of him brings you closer to your dream of a loving family. Even if you decide to go it alone to achieve that - as many have done so very successfully. I wish you so much luck!

I’m sorry that you have been treated this way, this is not how it should be.
Please leave.

I am so sorry you are in this situation OP. What a dreadful man he is.

All I can say to you is - look forward. It’s quite possible you can still have children in a new relationship, but whether you do or you don’t, you can definitely have a great life.

You are a person, not his toy.

Please go and find yourself a quiet spot today, and write a list of what you need to to do leave, and take one action.

You are punishing yourself by focusing on your past. You are not the one who deserves to be punished. Please leave him behind and move forward, walk away now - don’t give him any more of your life.

who cries during sex?
Abused women, that's who.

You deserve so much more. And so do your future children.

What if you accidently got pregnant by him?

Just go.

You don't deserve this OP you are worth so much more!
I know it's scary but not as scary as staying and potentially having 40 or 50 more years of this.
Everytime you get scared of leaving imagine how free you will feel to be able to dress how you want, go for a walk without any pressure to wear makeup and not have someone make you cry over how you choose to have your own hair.

The quicker you get out the more chance you have of starting the family you want

OP you can do this. You are amazing and are worth more than this sad excuse of a man. You are only in your mid 30s! You’re young. I started again (married with children) in my mid 30s and life is amazing. You don’t know what is around the corner, you could meet the love of your life tomorrow. Don’t stay with this awful man. Please, leave and start living. Sending you the strength you need to do this.

Wow. My mouth literally dropped open reading this. What a vile man. You can do better OP.