he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

That’s just awful to read OP. And don’t worry about your age - I didn’t get married until I was 36

you are better than this,leave get away be happy and safe

I'm so sorry you're going through this . Do you have support IRL? it's not too late for you. As cheesy as it sounds, it might be worth working on your relationship with yourself for a few months so you can be ready to meet someone new when the time is right.
I am sure that you won't regret leaving this man...he sounds vile. I am sending positive vibes your way, hoping you meet a man who treats you how you deserve to be treated when you're ready to do so x

Leave leave leave. I can’t say this enough. He is abusive. You would be much happier on your own.

You'd be absolutely daft yo stay with this guy op.
Please don't inflict him upon any innocent babies.
You've still got time to find someone else to have kids with but that's really not the main issue here.

Sounds awful. We'll done for making a plan to leave.

Understand it is disappointing the future you wanted isn't here. But you could never have a nice future with him anyway. Starting over might be scary, but staying would be much worse. You deserve much better.

I'm so sorry that you are being treated this way, please leave as soon as you can. If this was a friend or relative being treated this way what would you say to them?

You deserve so much more and you have a chance to get it. Leave today and don't look back.

@wdjav I was in an abusive relationship and left my exH when I was 37 years old. We divorced when I was 39 years old.

A year later I met a lovely man, we married when I was almost 42 years old and I had our DS when I was 44 years old.

The best thing I remember about being separated from my ex (and what decided me on no reconciliation - which he was pushing for) was sitting on the sofa one Sunday watching a film. I realised that I was enjoying the film, in part, because I wasn't listening for the key in the door. I wasn't about to walk on egg shells, get accused of being lazy because I dared to watch a film when there was still a bit of housework to do. I realised I didn't want to go back to that.

My now DH is more likely to spot a film about to start, make me a cup of tea and get on with the hoovering himself than deem me lazy for daring to have an hour or two with my feet up. Which is why he's my DH.

It won't get better. Really.

Ahh OP, I read so many posts on here like yours, but there's something different about you. There's no excuses from you, you aren't pretending any of this is fine, you acknowledge every nasty bit of it - it's refreshing!

I've no doubt at all that you'll find the strength to leave him - you know you can do it, and your desire to have babies will ultimately decide this for you. You rightly acknowledge this relationship is no place for a baby, yet you want a family, so decision made? No brainier - go and make the life you deserve

It feels like everything I wanted is gone. I never thought I would be almost 37 and in this situation. I feel so stressed and unhappy and so so bitter. I can’t bear hearing about another engagement or wedding or baby. I have spent years celebrating things for other people and this is how I’ve ended up by 37. I’ve always been so positive and happy but all hope has gone and I am so angry at the world. Which makes me even more attractive hey !!
I can see that you know you have to leave and you’re in a good position to do that. Be strong, get good friends around you, do you have family who can support you? I hope pps stop telling you how awful he is. You’ve heard them. Please don’t let yourself be drawn into a relationship with a similar control freak - I’m sure you won’t. Best of luck 💐

I would strongly urge you to ramp up your desire for a family and act fast. I have a child at 41 years. It is possible.

However the last thing you want to do is have a child and family with a man like this. A man that is not ‘your dream’, who is not as good looking or whatever, but who is kind, compatible, respectful is 100,000x better in a family. Believe me, a man like this will suck all the life out of you when you have kids.

But you can do it. Get out. Get hunting. Get a lovely man (they are out there for a 37 year old). Get going with a really nice family but you have to choose well.

Also just to say I have been in similar OP. Single (single parent actually) at 37, sad, dejected, everyone around married, marrying, working in partnership.

Something springs into action late 30s in many women, we get more savvy. I was quite shy and humble until then. No longer!

I’m so sorry, OP. He sounds absolutely vile. I’m really glad to read you’re going to leave him. He absolutely does not deserve you. Or any relationship.

@wdjav

Yes I had wanted a family. 37 in November and I am in tears thinking about that.

Quicker you leave, quicker you can look for someone better. DO NOT have children with this...specimen. And in answer to his stupid comments - I know many women and only ONE who has waxed their vulva etc. Waste of time, pain and money imo.

There is something deeply disturbing about men who expect their intimate female partner to defuzz her external genitalia until it resembles that of a 9yo girl. I understand that women porn actors present that way but surely that's for the camera? Unless a man has eyes in an extremely unusual location, why would he care?

Any woman whose partner requests this should utter just five words: "I will when you do." And insist that includes waxing all facial and body hair below his eyes.

Any woman whose partner tries to insist or demand, rather than requesting politely, need hear just two words, the second one being "...off!"

Well if you want children you need to leave him now. You’ll never meet anyone else being stuck with him.

If you stay with him another 4 years then it could well be too late to find someone nice to start a family with. You’ll do more than kick yourself when it all ends badly anyway.

37 is young. Please leave this him, you can do so much better.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clear cut case of a reason to LTB. I hope you find the strength to leave very soon. You are worth more than this. Wishing you brighter days ahead.

You can't stay with him. You'll never be happy. He won't be a good father either - you know that.

You are 36. November is still quite a long way away.

I always think that once you are in your mid 30s you know exactly what you want from a new relationship. You can know within 6 months whether you are compatible and have a future together with mutual ambitions.

If you leave now there's no reason why you couldn't find a much more worthy and nicer partner. If they are also keen to have children then you do still have time.

Don't settle for this horrible, horrible relationship you are currently in.

Get. The. Fuck. Out. And. Never. Look. Back !!!!! You poor poor thing!

Much better to be single and happy than married to an arsehole.

Awful to read. I am so sorry you are going through this. Don't subject a child to this kind of father. You deserve so much better. I hope you find the strength to leave.

And would you really want to bring his kids into the world? They're half him, after all.

Oh you poor thing. But, you're 36. You've only had so few years of being a grown up and sooooo many more ahead of you. So much time to heal and get things back on track.
Get those locks changed and go!

You are young, you may not think you are but you really are young. Young enough to easily meet a wonderful man who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Don’t spend a second more with this tyrant, he is a disgrace to men. Don’t let your age cause you to hesitate - the alternative is a lifetime of misery and raising poor children by this bully. You are worth so much more and will have a brilliant future ahead of you when you leave him.