he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

Sooner you leave and build your confidence up the sooner you can start looking for someone better. Plenty of time for a family. Be choosy , be confident look after yourself and you’ll attract the right sort of man. This isn’t it. He’s broken . Bin him and replace him for a decent one .

I’m sorry you have wasted time on such a nasty man. Please leave and don’t waste any more time with him. He’s worn down your self esteem and confidence. You need to get away for yourself and your future. A future without him will be so much brighter but right now you are in the depths of it too much to see that. Be brave and make the break towards your future and freedom from this selfish manipulative man.

Please leave. He isn’t making you happy in any way.

Give yourself time on your own. I had children very late 30s and I’ve got a friend that had hers (naturally and no medical assistance) at 45. We women are healthier now than ever. We can also adopt, foster babies or use a sperm donor. So many options. You leaving him gives you more choice. He sounds abusive. Come on you know that in a few months you will be happier. We are coming out of Covid. Lots of new clubs are starting. You will meet someone I’m sure. And if you don’t - life is still fun. My friends are coming out of child rearing now with miserable husbands and are ready to go away, meals etc.

Don't waste another second on him. Dump him and go find mr right. This man will only make you miserable.

Leave this excuse of a man. I started again at 40. Had a baby no problem at 42. You're 36... go and grab a life you're happy with. You've got your own house and no children with this complete tosser... you're in a great position to just walk out the door and not go back. Please do it.

The sooner you get out, the sooner you can start again. Know your worth, leave this horror show and find someone who deserves you. This scum bag certainly doesn't.
36 isn't too old and you absolutely have options for children, grab them with both hands. Good luck.

Leave! I was older than you when I got divorced, now with the love of my life so it's entirely possible! The longer you stay, the sadder you could get, and the harder it is to go.

Please leave. This is no way to live. My sister left her abusive partner when she was 42 they had been together since she was 35, it took her a long time to actually leave even after she had decided that is what she needed and wanted to do.
She is so much happier, the weight of his abuse is no longer on her shoulders and she is now engaged to a wonderful man.
You deserve so much better OP.

Leave! You can do it, I believe in you

OP, my advice for you would be to leave him today. At 37 you're not too old to have a family. You know you can go to a fertility clinic to have a fertility mot done to assess how many eggs you have left. I know so many women who had babies into their early forties.

When I had my first last year at the age of 33 (no spring chicken either) there were quite a few women early forties giving birth as well in the hospital.

Please leave him today and don't waste any time anymore with this abusive asshole.

You are in your prime and deserve so much more. Waxing is a form of abuse anyway imo. Be kind to yourself!

Please tell someone close to you and leave him.
Better to start a over than to live the rest of your life with this arsehole. Do you want kids? Do you want him as their father??

sorry op but you are being overly negative here, look at the facts,

You have your own home to go to easily.
You have a job so financially independent.
You have no ties to him.

The misery of living with him is easily fixed, move out change the lock.

As to the having children, take control, get out and about, go on dates, try internet dating.
Consider, sperm donation or adoption.
You have plenty of choice and to say your future is ruined at the tender age of 37 is silly....
You have time to have children if you take action.

Firmly put away you ideas of how you wanted it to be and look at realistic options...good luck.

Sorry OP didn’t RTFT.
37 is not too late to start over and have children with someone lovely

You deserve SO much better than this absolute wanker. What kind of person is this? And I do get the worrying about not having children, I’m just resigning myself that it’s never now going to happen. But think how much more shit it would be to have kids with this twat, especially in terms of him helping you with pregnancy and the kids. Get yourself away and you never have to worry about that hairy bum hole again (and by that I mean him!)

There are worse things than being alone, and staying in this particular relationship is definitely high on that list!

37 - well, I met my DH at 36 and had 2 boys with him after I turned 40, so there's still hope for you.

This fuckwit is never going to be decent father material so your best bet, as countless other posters have already said, is to cut your losses here and go it alone - if you find another partner, great, if not, then look at IVF by yourself.

But what you must NOT do is waste another moment with this abusive bastard.

To quote the phrase:

What if I fall? Ah but my darling, what if you fly?

Yes it's scary having to make all these changes but the alternative is you will be made ill by staying with him. There's still lots of time for you to meet someone who isn't emotionally abusive and have a family. He is the classic, superficial charmer with the heart of a vindictive controlling bully. They're vile. This man knows exactly what he's doing and he will do it to someone else.

You're doing the right thing by moving gradually back into your own place. In your shoes, i would tell him via letter after all your belongings are in situ and you've changed the lock. It might be good to invest in a camera in case he shows up. Do make sure that your friends and family are aware of the reasons you've left him.

Can you imagine if you had a daughter with him and the kind of crap she would grow up with? Leave, buy some sperm and next time you meet a man who is critical, tell them to fuck off. You are better off alone than being crushed on a daily basis.

I know it's scary the thought of being alone and starting all over again, I've been there and stayed much longer than I should have done out of fear. It's so easy from the outside to say leave, we aren't the ones who have to do it but you know you have too OP, you have no ties to this man, you have somewhere to go, this is a huge advantage. Use that advantage to get away from this awful man. I guarantee once you are out and the fog begins to lift you will feel so much better.

@wdjav

Yes I had wanted a family. 37 in November and I am in tears thinking about that.

OP, I got pregant with twins at 37 and my partner was pretty much like yours. I left him four years later with two young children and it's the best thing I ever did.

You CAN do this - you'll be so much happier without this bloody prick in your life.

Security cameras and one of those Ring doorbells that alerts you by phone wherever you are would be advisable when you go, just in case.

I wouldn't tell him until after you've gone; he sounds the type who might either lovebomb or turn nasty and you don't want either.

Remember, you don't need his approval or permission to leave, nor do you owe him any explanation.

When you go, change all your passwords as well as the locks, and if he's at all techy, assume he is cyber-stalking you - more than half of abusive men do this - and get your devices checked over for spyware. Likewise your car for tracking devices if he starts turning up randomly where you happen to be. Don't forget, your phone is a tracking device, too, but you can turn of location.

The reason you are scared, OP, is because he has completely undermined your confidence in yourself.

You will be fine, it will be scary but it will be exciting too. You will be amazed at how much you can do by yourself without this horrible man.

I seem to remember there was a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Please, take the plunge and leave.

One of your concerns is finding a good man to settle and have a baby with. You are 37. I am 43. I started trying at 38 and had my first at 41, second at 43. All ok.
You have no guarantees you will have kids with this man. But you are guaranteed a life of misery with this man and if you do have kids with him, a miserable life for them too. If you leave, you still have a chance at happy love/companionship, you still have a chance at having kids, you still have a chance at happiness. Your chance at happiness is almost guaranteed.

You deserve better than him, walk away before he destroys your self esteem completely