he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

Also, my ex was really not that physically attractive or well-groomed himself - which is fine, but often the blokes telling women how to look aren't really in the best position to do so! :)

And yes, I second what CrowsAreGreat says - you will be starting again at some point, unless you truly want to spend the next 40 years with this bloke, so you might as well do it now. (and I agree that Crows Are Great)

stick wax strips on HIS pubes, then yank them off and see if HE likes it

You can have my first LTB. Seriously run for the hills and don't look back

You will have nothing to lose if you dump off this awful man, he has a serious personality disorder. and is nasty with it. You will be worn down being with this kind of controlling man.

One can only wonder, what kind of attributes this person has, being as he is so critical of you. Make a break, you are young,and you can shut this awful person out of your life, you don't need him!

@boredinthouse

OP don't stay, he's abusive with you, he will be abusive with your children too. Please please leave. You and your future children deserve more.

This. In spades.

He's fucking horrible to you and you, a grown woman are scared of him. Imagine being a child being belittled and sniggered at by him.

Whatever else you do, please don't have children with this bastard, it would be a cruel thing to do.

Does he was his asshole too? What a prick.

Op, my friend was in the same sort of situation as this, aged nearly 38. She left and has never looked back. She met a very nice man within a few months, they are now 44, married with 3 kids (one set of twins).
The only arsehole you need to wax is him, right out of your life.

You know you can't stay with this vile idiot OP.

Starting over in your late 30s is wonderful because now you know what you don't want, you're in a position to start a new life that works for you. Good luck!

You will be much happier when you leave him. BUT it will take some time to feel happy as this abusive man has damaged your self esteem, boundaries and ability to know what is normal in a relationship. It wont get any better, it usually escalates to violence. Dont be surprised if he turns on the tears when you dump him and promise to be better, its all about control. Leave leave leave , the longer you stay the harder it gets.

My first ever LTB.

Why is it scarier to be alone than be with an abuser who hates you? It should be relief.

Leave. Just leave. You deserve to be happy and you aren't, nor will you ever be, with him.

You deserve better.

Your future kids deserve better.

Take control back from him and leave. This is your sliding doors moment.

Babe please leave him!!!!! He sounds just like my bastard ex!

So judgemental but listen it's nothing to do with you!! It's all them and their insecurities.

Do not listen to another moment of it, gather yourself together and please leave!

I did after 2 years and honestly a year later met the love of my life who is real and caring and doesn't judge me!! Your one is out there too please don't waste yourself away on a man who has soooo many issues and is taking them out in you! Sort of man will make you fully loose the plot and they need ridding of quickly as possible for your own sanity xx

He's wearing you down and it's not ok

All is not lost now that you see him for who he is. Once you close the door to this relationship, you can move on to your wonderful new future, free of his soul destroying abuse. I would let friends and family know that you need their support to go no contact.

Do you have flexibility to take a day of leave from work to move? Can you take your things back to your home while he is at work? As others say, do protect yourself from his reaction by letting others know and support you. You are on the right track to a wonderful future by swiftly getting out and way from this horrible man.

I had one of these. Started fine, then degenerated. Would tell me to 'make a bloody effort, then' during sex, kicked me out of bed when I came back slightly pissed and happy from a friend's (very tame) party, lied to me about who he was meeting, secretive about texts, told me how horrible and fat I had been when we first met (I was a stone heavier), blah blah. I had lent him a large sum of money for his professional training. One day I woke up and asked myself 'If I were not financially tied to this person would I still be with him?' Answer obvs no. So then I had to ask myself 'Do I think I am worth more than the amount of the loan?' Answer obvs yes. What a relief, expelling him from my life. Looking back, there were many signs that he was more interested in men than women, anyway.
Btw, had my first child at the age of 40. Got a couple of them. Love it. Would happily have done it alone if no suitable man on the scene.
You already know he is not very nice and you don't like him, and you also know that time is of the essence, so fast track the next bit chop chop - it's time to find someone better and/or have a baby - yay!

You would be better off leaving him and using a donor to have a child if that’s what you really want.

It’s scary to think of starting over but much worse it imagine him treating your baby like he treats you isn’t it?

My friend was with an abusive partner for 15 years, she snapped and left when she had a miscarriage at 36 and he told her to pull herself together. She's now 41 married, has a stepdaughter who she has a lovely relationship with and a toddler.
If you stay with him you'll never have the family life you want, even if you have a baby with him. If you leave you might not have the family you want but there's a chance you will. Give yourself that chance.

Dear, dear @wdjav
I hope you can see all these posts urging you to leave and reassuring you that there is time to start again and be happy for what it is...
A huge tsunami of wisdom and goodwill.
You can do it. 💪

Op, I left a relationship of 7 years when I was 35. Met DP 18 months later, had DC and we're still happy after 12 years.

It's not too late. I know it's really, really scary, but nothing will change for the better unless you leave him. You can do it, we're all behind you.

I left a 14 year relationship at 35. 18 months later I met someone new and now we have 3 children together.

Don’t be afraid to leave this relationship. It isn’t a good one, he isn’t a ‘good one’. He sounds vile. I dated a man like this from the age of 18-20. Only years later when I look back on it do I realise it was abusive.

Cut this one loose and put your energy in to being happy and meeting someone new who will value and respect you.

F**k me that me that sounds horrific! He sounds like a complete knob.

My friend was 39 when she left her emotionally abusive ex. She left and spent the next 12 months rebuilding her life. By 43 she had 2 kids and was married to a wonderful man.

It’s not too late to give up on your dream of a family. This man is horrid and controlling. Not speaking for 4 days because you wouldn’t wear some lipstick! And I bet it was you that had to apologise.

Get out OP and start living again. Good luck!

So happy that you have your own place! Could you leave this weekend/next week? The sooner you leave the sooner you get your life back!

Oh love ❤️ you will be ok. Really, don’t settle for this.