he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

@wdjav it sounds like you have your head screwed on.

It's good to read one of these threads where the women is already making plans to leave the prick, rather than wondering how they can make it work. SO glad to hear that you have a safe place away from this horrible man to return to. Get those locks changed asap.

36/7 isn't old. Really. You have good years still ahead of you. So much life left to live. And ultimately you are better off being alone than with a prick like this. Of course it's going to take a bit of time to get over this, particularly as he has been making comments designed to damage your confidence and make you feel like crap.

And you know I don't think the majority of women wax. I really don't. Its bloody painful and expensive! Nothing wrong with a nice pair of joggers at the end of the day either.

Btw, I’m surprised you don’t want your arsehole waxed - book him an appointment for everything off ASAP.

I completely understand the idea of 'starting again' feels daunting. But you're not starting again, not really - unless being with an awful man was the plan. What you're actually doing is choosing a better path for yourself in future, not going backwards.

It's as simple as that you have two choices - stay with an abusive man who treats you like shit, or leave and not be abused. I know it feels like there are so many more layers to it, but that's all it boils down to really. Give yourself permission to seek better. ❤️

He sounds awful OP. I’m so sorry to hear you’re in this situation it must feel really hard. At 37 you still have options. You could meet someone soon or you could decide to go it alone and use a donor. Your dreams of a family do not have to end with this relationship. Sending strength and wishing you all the best

That’s awful to read, every single one of the things you’ve mentioned is abusive and disgusting. Can you imagine having children with a man like this? I know you feel like there are a lot of sunk costs invested here, but it isn’t easy to leave at any age, but please don’t waste a second more of your life on this absolute piece of shit. There are far, far better man out there, in fact it would be difficult to think of a worse man.
Is this the life you really want?

This reminds me of my ex so so much ! He was controlling and found little things to say all the time to make me feel bad about myself !
Leave him and you will wonder what you ever saw in his , stay and you will just feel worse and worse about yourself

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. He sounds absolutely horrible, 100% leave him.

I know it feels hard and lovely to do so, starting again etc. But honestly, close your eyes, and really try and visualise what your life will be like in five years, if you stay with this man. What does that imagine feel like? I would imagine it looks desolate and filled with sadness. Now imagine what your life will be like if you choose to leave. How would that feel, in five years, when all the pain of leaving is behind you and you have made a new life for yourself? Hopefully it is much happier, like a weight is lifted. That's what you need to focus on and cling on to.

Don't waste any more of your life with this awful man. You deserve to be happy. Whether that's alone or with someone who truly loves and values you, you will 100% be happier if you're not with this abusive excuse for a human being

Good to hear you have somewhere to go and are taking steps to leave. I don't think you will regret it.
37 is still young enough to do all you want to do. Good luck!

Please leave now. You deserve better than this piece of shit!

You won't be starting from scratch. You'll be starting with the hard earned wisdom that you will not tolerate this kind of relationship again.
And yy to men worth having not caring about make up etc. He's using you to try to compensate for his own sense of inadequacy.

It's so scary to start over? Isn't it more scary to think about spending the next 40-50 years with this selfish, opinionated, controlling arsehole? Does he wax "down there?"

You know you need to leave him, do it. Thank god you have your own place to return to. Please though, don't get into a downward spiral of negativity about it all. You are referring to yourself as 37 already, but it's a whole 6 months away!!?! Think what you can actually achieve within the next 6 months before you even hit 37 - leave him, move out back to your own place and start to recover for starters. You can work on recovery and invest time and love into yourself and you might even meet someone else while you are 36! Just don't waste another 6 months with this prick.

Leave this sexist twat. He wants a trophy girlfriend. Bet he’s not even that much of a catch himself

This is great news really - you've escaped a lifetime of misery dor you and any kids you might have had with this absolute arsehole.

Imagine you in 5 years writing a post now you've got a toddler, a baby and he's doing nothing around the house, putting you down all the time, being nasty to the kids when they cry / need their mum or Dad....

But woo hooo!! That is NOT your future!!!

Who knows what it will look like but by realising all this now, you can be sure it will be a damn site better than that.

@wdjav

Thanks. Sorry I didn’t mean to sound annoyed in my previous post.

I’m just so sad that I know I have to start again. Everyone around me, friends, family, colleagues, has settled down. I know there are others in my position but far less of us. It’s a very very very lonely place to be and I don’t think you can understand that unless you experience it.

I know I need to leave. It’s easy for me to leave, I never rented out my place so I can just go back there and change the locks (he has a key). I have slowly been moving things back to mine the last week or so. He doesn’t seem to have noticed.

It feels like everything I wanted is gone. I never thought I would be almost 37 and in this situation. I feel so stressed and unhappy and so so bitter. I can’t bear hearing about another engagement or wedding or baby. I have spent years celebrating things for other people and this is how I’ve ended up by 37. I’ve always been so positive and happy but all hope has gone and I am so angry at the world. Which makes me even more attractive hey !!

Let’s say you do have a family with him. It will be even more of a miserable existence and inevitably you’ll still have to leave him. There’s no way as a mother of a young child you’d be insta perfect at all times! You want a family and you want a marriage but presumably you want those things to make you happy. Leave him. Find someone new.

He's not going to change or improve.
It is hard moving on at that age, but it only gets harder the longer you leave it. You still have time to move on, doing let this guy waste any more of your time.

You are immensely fortunate in having somewhere to go to that's yours. Please pack up and go there, change the locks and break off all contact with this man, you owe him nothing.

100% if you have a child with this man, the abuse will continue until he leaves you for a woman who waxes her arse for men, and then he'll blame you for 'not making the effort'.

If you want children desperately there are ways you can go it alone, I know several women who have done so and are very happy.

“I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving”

Please leave. Do not let any more of this happen to you.💐

Pls run and dont look back..

He's a cunt. It would be better to be alone for the rest of your days than continue to be with a bully.

You aren’t happy now so what have you got to lose by leaving sooner rather than later? You have an awful lot to gain - including the possibility of meeting someone else and having that family you want.

Obviously she should not stay in this relationship but it does sound as if there are some porn addiction issues with the man?

@Tickledtrout

You won't be starting from scratch. You'll be starting with the hard earned wisdom that you will not tolerate this kind of relationship again. And yy to men worth having not caring about make up etc. He's using you to try to compensate for his own sense of inadequacy.

Absolutely. And this is priceless

“wdjav

Yes I had wanted a family. 37 in November and I am in tears thinking about that.”

Please please know that you do not want a family with this man. It would be wrong to have children with him. If you think what you have now is bad, you have no idea just how appalling it would be with children in the mix.

💐💐💐💐

@wdjav

I don’t know why I stayed. It was incremental and he used to give excuses like he was stressed or worried about his health etc. We went away last year for a week and on the second day he asked me to take lipstick on a walk, I said no it’s a walk, he proceeed not to speak to me for the next four days. Literally didn’t speak one word.

I’m just so sad I let this carry on and feel I’ve lost any chance of a family now

OP, you haven't lost any chance of a family. My sister, at age 39, was in a similar abusive relationship. She finally left the bastard and a year later met a wonderful man. She had a baby at 42, who is now a beautiful 17yo young woman.

Please get out immediately and start the rest of your life.