he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

Oh dear,somebody was very bored

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Is this what women today think is an acceptable relationship?

Men demanding the porn aesthetic in their partners can fuck right off.

OP do you want to be writing this post in ten years time, with a few more of your ‘faults’ included?

What possible reason would you have for wanting to be with such a wanker?

I despair.

Please find the strength to leave. Pick a day when he's out and just go. Book the locksmith in advance or leave your key on the inside of your door so he can't get in. You still have time to make a great new life.

He sounds really awful and unkind and I’m glad you’re thinking about leaving. I do understand about wanting a family and worrying that he’s your only chance, but he would be an awful father and you’d be tied to him forever. Good luck.

@wdjav
My heart jumped for joy when I saw this!
“I know I need to leave. It’s easy for me to leave, I never rented out my place so I can just go back there and change the locks”
I’m 15 years older than you, happily married and with lovely children- a little part of me feels jealous of you because you have all that ahead of you!
💪 and 💐
You can do it!

37 is no age at all. I have a number of friends who haven’t found their partner and had children until they were older than you. I would rather live alone the rest of my life than live with him another moment longer.

Another thing-if you have a family with him, think about the life you’d be condemning your children to. Your life will be even more miserable than it is now. You deserve much better.

He will never change. He will only get worse.

So

It's this for life (with gradually worsening behaviour from him and lower self esteem from you)

Or

You leave and have the life you deserve

There isn't a middle option. This for life, or go are all there is.

Please don't wait till you are pregnant to realise when you have 'ties for life'.

Oh my god, leave immediately!!! I would rather sleep on the streets than spend any more time with this person - I wouldn't even refer to him as a man, what a vile specimen!!!!

Wow. Leave. You will be lonelier in this relationship than out of it. He sounds vile.

Give yourself an opportunity to be happy.

I completely get where you're coming from - time does feel short in late thirties.

But: 1. You obviously know this man would make a terrible parent.
2. There would still be time for you to meet someone and have a
baby.
3. You would also have the opportunity of adopting as a single
parent.

Your feelings are perfectly understandable and valid. But it's also important to remind yourself that feelings are not facts. The facts are that you would still have a lot of choices in life after leaving this horrible man.

I've never been near my nether regions with a razer or wax in the forty years since nature put them there. Been with the same man thirty years who doesn't give a stuff. Luckily he was raised in a time when porn hadn't told men that they couldn't be attracted to a woman who looks like a grown woman.

Get. Out. You don't want children with him, you say you'll end up alone either way. BEING ALONE IS 1000000x BETTER THAN BEING WITH THIS DICK. And honestly, condemning yourself to "being alone" because you're single at 36? In the nicest possible way, give your head a wobble. You have time to find someone else, start a family and have it all, but you've got to do it as soon as possible to give that scenario the best chance. If having children is a priority you can go the donor route (I have a couple of friends who have done this, one had her first at 38 via donor and has just had her second at 43 with her partner.)

Even if kids doesn't end up happening, do you really think there is absolutely zero possibility of you finding someone else in the next 40/50/60 years? I'm sure your self-esteem and confidence have been shot to shit by this arsehole, but there is a whole world out there where you can do things and have thoughts, and not spend a single moment second guessing what someone else's reaction to it will be.

Please don't have a child with this man, they would be damaged by witnessing his cruelty to you and them.

His poor children (present or future)

My abusive relationship ended when I was 36.Like you I thought I would never find mr right or have kids at that age....... but I did. Been married 17years now and have a 16 year old and a 13 year old.
You can leave, life will be better. I can't promise you m right and two kids but it WILL be better than life with Mr wrong!!!

That's really good you've started to take action by moving your things.
Get the locks changed before you move back there then just go.

You will feel so much better once this poisonous creature is out of your life.

Yes, Leave. As soon as possible. Don't listen to anything he tells you about what he's given you, how "it was all for you" or any of that crap. He is absolutely vile and has ground you down enough. So pleased you've been moving things out already. Do it. You're hurt and scared and bitter. But it's not too late. You can turn your life around - with you in control, not that pathetic excuse for a man. xx

OP, in 3 or 4 years you could easily be married to a kind and loving man with a young family.

Even if you were single, you'd be free to be yourself and dress and groom the way you like.

Either is better than the next 50 years being ground down by this turd.

Just to add to the chorus. Leave now.
He's in the process of breaking you down mentally, making it harder and harder to leave as he takes away your self belief and confidence.

This whole thing isn't about how you trim your pubic hair, but you know that. Regarding that, I've never had a wax in my life and don't intend to. I actually like a bush, the hairless aesthetic creeps me out. My husband can't be the only man who doesn't mind.

The other thing I meant to say is that I totally understand the feeling that you’ve been left behind and everyone else is settled just as you’re in a state of flux. I was you.

I’m 54 now, and I did meet someone and we married and had children. While I was doing that, some of those family units that I’d been so envious of were breaking down. A friend of mine who had the “perfect life” discovered her DH had another family and at 42 found herself a single parent to four children. Another friend of mine lost her husband in an accident, they’d been married 10 years and had just started trying for a family. My neighbour left her DH and her DC at 40 to start a relationship with a woman and finally felt she was living an authentic life after years of pretence in the sort of family unit many of us would envy from the outside. My sister died when she was 32 and about to get married. I guess what I’m saying is that there isn’t a finish line and you’re not behind in the race, anything can happen and life dishes up surprises all the time (good and bad). Don’t compare your life to others. Nothing you want is gone.

LeVe, mu the doesn’t ever tell me what to wear although if I wear something he likes he compliments me. He never compares me verbally to others. I have waxed my pubes once for going on holiday but usually I’m au natural and he has never commented either way. I once asked him to stop during sex as my leg locked. He stopped immediately with no complaint…although we did get back into it. You see the difference!

You aren't too old to start over. You're too young not to. Take some time out to do the Freedom Programme too, so you arm yourself against falling for another charming abusive prick. Nothing is worth this.

And you don't need a man to have a family - I know several women who have gone it alone and have built stable, happy families for themselves.

I know people who’ve started over at your age and met someone and had a family. I know others who stayed past 40 and bitterly regret it. Get out now and start enjoying your life! Living like this is awful

(Coming from someone who hasn’t had a bikini wax since the 2000s 😬)

I was 44 with two kids, and in your situation. I ended it, I’m still single, partly probably because of Covid, I’ve never regretted leaving, not even fir a millisecond.
You’ll be so much better off without him, but I didn’t see it until I left, the relief when you look back and see c,ear,y what you were putting up with is immense.

Yes if you leave sooner rather than later you’ve got a chance of getting back on your feet and finding someone else.

Please don't have a child with him, it will tie you down to a lifetime of abuse.

Honestly stop thinking about all you are 'losing' by not being with him, and think about what you will gain. Self esteem, peace and self respect. Your possible loss of marriage, children and settled life, has to be weighed against what you are suffering now. Abuse and disrespect.

I know what I would choose to have