he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

I was about to say he wants a blow-up doll, but I see somebody beat me to it.
Maybe you could post him one as a parting gift?
You'll feel so much better and competent when you're shut of him.

Good God. There are plenty of single people of all ages who can cope alone.

If the fear of being alone is the only reason you stay with this tosser then you need to get some respect

Think how you will feel when you are 50 and have wasted these years on him. He's abusive, he's horrible. Get out and get out now.

Oh you poor love - 37 is not old. Please do not have a baby with this abusive twat - his abuse will worsen. Speak to women’s aid
Are you living I. The same house? If so , I would wait until he goes out and just pack your things and go.💐💐

You should leave him - he is creepy and abusive. Many women don't wax 'down there', and no man has a right to demand it!!!! And what right has he got to tell you what you can wear or not wear for work? He's not your boss! And the comment on your changing position during sex - that is creepy as all hell. Don't stay with this horrible man.

I’m just so sad I let this carry on and feel I’ve lost any chance of a family now

If you leave him now then you still potentially have years to meet someone else and have a family. Women have kids in their 40s these days.

You do NOT want to be with this man in 10 yrs time. Trust me. You do NOT want to have children with this man.

You poor thing, you deserve so much more than the life you’ve got. Don’t be sad about not having had kids yet, think of it as a huge blessing because when you leave you will be completely free of this vile pig. If you are truly worried about your fertility you could look into having your eggs frozen - that would remove a lot of the pressure you are puttting on yourself.

Be kind to yourself and leave, YOU ARE WORTH MORE.

I haven't read the whole thread but he's vile, you should definitely leave him.

You deserve so much better. He may promise to change if you threaten to leave, don’t believe him, he has shown you who is is..

He's a monster. Tell him to fook off and go get HIS arsehole waxed.

Your reality now is much scarier than what your future will be if you leave. He's not worthy of you. He is scum. Rinse him away and find someone who loves you for you, body hair and all. Please look after yourself

Please get out before this becomes dangerous. Be brave - there is a far better life waiting for you out there ...

Oh my god. No one should be with him ever.

You are not a human being to him. You are just an object, a thing. In order to treat someone the way he does, he must dehumanise you. OP, my abusive ex was the same. Charming to everyone one else but a vile misogynist to me. He got much worse over time. I was around your age when he started to get worse. I stayed for another 11 years! I felt the same way you did. I couldn’t see what a future would look like on my own but things became so unbearable ANY alternative would be better. When I left I felt like I’d been released from Prison. I soared like a bird. I was single for 5 years and loved every minute of it. I remarried at 55 years old and am now very happy. Please don’t waste any more of your life on this creature. I deeply regret wasting the years I did and wish I’d left earlier. Your life WILL be better, what ever the future holds. It WILL be better than it is now. Take steps to prepare yourself mentally. Do the Freedom programme, get support, then leave.

OMG. I can't believe you've put up with this for so long.

Your responses to some of the previous posters show us how angry you are at the moment. Direct that anger towards your abuser and get out of this horrible relationship.

@Miasicarisatia

If this is genuine I'm surprised anyone would put up with it in this day and age

I'm surprised that you are surprised that abusers exist in this day and age.

Yuk get rid

I’ll find a decent man and have a family

I generally never comment on these kind of threads and think sometimes people say LTB for really trivial things.

But OP, PLEASE LEAVE HIM. As soon as you can.

Wax him right out of your life; it will be a cleaner, healthier place. Controlling misogynistic bustdart. (Sewing Bee thread reference).

If nobody has mentioned Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, I'm mentioning it now. A book to change your life!

At 37 you've enough time: not plenty, but enough. Don't waste another day of it on him.

Please start over. You’ll have such a weight lifted off you. I met my second husband when I was 47 and he couldn’t be more loving and tells me every day how happy he is he met me. That’s what you deserve, OP. You don’t want to get to 50 and think you should have left him years ago.

If you're on your own for the rest of your life it would still be better than staying with this arse. If you want children you can do that on your own (and your children will be far happier than having deadbeat for a father.)

You say you have no ties to him OP. - What do you mean by that? Where do you live? Can you easily stay somewhere else or rent a small place for yourself in order to get away?

I left my DH by renting a tiny place just for me. It was bliss. I took a few things over each day for a couple of weeks then just moved out with a suitcase. It made me keep my resolve to actually leave, that this little studio was waiting. My ex-DH also wanted a wife which wasn't me. I was getting too fat, for example. I weighed 8 stone then FFS. And I didn't do my hair nicely enough. And one of my hobbies was apparently not seemly enough.

I met someone new at work and had a baby at 40 years old.

This is how it had to be. Looking back my life would have been miserable if I'd stayed. Now I'm in my fifties with lovely step children and 2 children of my own, happy with my appearance, looking forward to being retired with my new DH.

Please don't stay and end up with him for any longer.