he is angry i haven't waxed down there?

[wdjav]

In fact he’s angry about most things.

Without going into too much detail, I keep hair short down there but never go for a wax. It’s not bushy or long. I shave regularly. I just don’t want a wax. He said the other day that I must be the only woman who is happy with that and he’s shocked I don’t want my arsehole waxed specifically.

Other comments have been why do I think it’s ok not to wear heels into the office. Why do I slob out in a tracksuit when home from work. Why don’t I wear make up everyday. Why does my eyeliner wear off during the day...he’s noticed our mutual friend’s eyeliners stays on an entire night and looks the same from 7pm to 11pm, would I like him to get me the same one??

Recently I moved during sex as felt slight pain due to the position. I just wanted to re position. He pulled out and stormed off slamming the door saying what’s wrong with me?? I started to cry. The next morning he looked at me and mockingly sniggered and said who cries during sex?

I’m just so sad. No other ties to him so could leave easily. I’m 36, 37 at the end of the year though. It’s so scary to think about starting over. I feel sick when I think about staying and sick when I think about leaving. I will end up alone either way.

I'm sorry you're in this position.

I know what it's like to be scared of starting over, but the sooner you do, the greater the chance of meeting someone else and having children.

I wasn't in an abusive relationship, but split up with my Ex at the same age as you. The big mistake I made was mourning what wasn't to be, rather than getting on with life.

Don't do that, leave this controlling abusive dickhead this weekend or by next weekend and start living your fresh new life. He's not worth grieving about!!!

Don't walk away, RUN

I think you already know the answer here op. Please walk away. This isn't healthy at all! 💕 not normal at all!

Not RTFT but leave, ideally today.

Please leave this man. He sounds horrid and controlling and it will only get worse. My ex was a bit like this, it felt the bravest thing in the world calling it off with him at the time. Only now do I realise how obviously awful he was.

I met my now husband a month later .

I know. It’s much scarier when you’re in this situation at this age though
My mate left this situation 4 years ago at the age of 54.She was scared to leave fir decades.
Now she wishes she had done it decades ago.

Yes, it was hard for her initially. She isn't as well iff as she was with her husband but her mind is clear. She wakes up happy.
She doesn't have to think of reasons to see me and her other friends like she used to.
Nobody makes her cry.
She wears what ever the hell she wants.
You too can be like my lovely friend but be free nearly20 years sooner than she was.
Think off it as ripping iff a plaster. It hurts initially but its done with quicker rather than thinking about it.
As for kids, you must be joking to want a child with him. Seriously, you are not stupid. You know 1, the kid will witness what he does to you and 2 he will potentially abuse and bully the child who will think that is normal behaviour and the cycle will continue.

I had 2 children in my mid forties with all the wrong indicators, overweight, ex smoker etc etc etc...freeze some eggs and leg it. You deserve to be treated with respect. He's not even within a hundred miles of being an acceptable human being.

Years ago on a Saturday morning I just knew it was time to go. By Sunday night I was in my sister's flat with some of my stuff. The Saturday after that, when I went out and had a day by myself, doing what I wanted to do, is still, decades later, the happiest day of my life.

I thought when I left him that I might never have children, and that my family and friends would be horrified. Believe me, I was much happier single than with him, whether I had children or not (in fact I went on to do so). My family and friends never said anything but supportive things.

You can go. Of course you can.

God. I hate him for you. How dare he.

This is a horrible life for you. Don’t waste your life on this nasty man. There are men out there who will love and value you for who you are, not some twisted idea of how you should be. Every minute you stay in this relationship, is a minute less with the person you should be with.

He sounds vile, absolutely vile. Gaslighting, emotionally abusive twat.

Please leave him. You deserve so much more than this.

I think it is weird why men would want women waxed down there, let's face it a waxed vagina is very child looking

He sounds disgusting and vile please leave this man you will be so much happier

It's hard to leave at any age but late 30s is a particularly difficult one. Your mind and body and society are screaming at you to get married and make babies before it's 'too late'. I really feel for you, but every single minute of your life you spend with this horrible weird man is a complete waste. You only have one life, you've likely got at least half of it still to go. Make it count and be happy.

I don’t think anyone blames you at all for ending up in this situation; the strength of feelings and unanimous verdict is because everyone knows a man like this or has encountered one (or more) in their lives either through being in a relationship with one or seeing a friend/family member/acquaintance with one so the advice is straightforward.

How he behaves is not your fault and it’s easily fallen into due to the insidious escalation over time as their true colours are revealed to you, while they’re simultaneously presenting a charming persona to everyone else it’s confusing and messes with your head.

The truth is he’s a misogynist who just wants a doll and who doesn’t respect your right to personal agency. It’s not you, it’s him.

You’ll be so much happier without him bringing you down.

Please leave him today and def don't bring a baby into this situation. How ever he treats you now which is bad enough will be 100times worse after dc. The whole relationship sounds so unhealthy and abusive.

I just explained your post to my DH of 25 years. He said "He doesn't want a woman. He wants a blow up doll".

@wdjav

I know. It’s much scarier when you’re in this situation at this age though.

I know he’s abusing me. I was in denial for a long time. I’m so sad.

Do you honestly want to inflict that arsehole on your kids for life? You'd do better going it alone than ever forcing an abusive arsehole on children. Please leave op, you deserve more.

He can go and find a waxed, perfectly made up woman who likes perfectly still for sex. I suggest a mannequin or one of those blow up dolls

Good god! Run for the hills!!!!!!!

Have you posted about this before OP?

If not then someone had exactly the same problem as you a year or two ago. I distinctly remember the poster's OH expressing that 'most women would want to wax their arseholes'. I hope there aren't 2 of them out there.

If it is you, this has been going on for long enough and you've known for a long time that this is abuse. So what next? You still have time for a happy fulfilled life.

Get away, now.

God he sounds awful. Please don’t settle for someone like this, you deserve better than this. Keep telling yourself that and believe it 💕
What would you say to a friend who was telling you this was happening in their relationship?

Oh god, OP, he's a vile, nasty little man intent on hurting you to keep you quiet and make himself feel better about his own myriad shortcomings. It doesn't matter what you wear, eat or wax, he's just picking at you to make you feel like shit so you won't see what a failure he is. Trust me, when you leave, all your friends and family will own up that they have always hated him and saw right through it. I promise.

Fwiw, I already had a daughter, but at your age I was single and miserable after a dreadful relationship and had consigned myself to a lonely life as a single parent and my child to never have siblings. At almost 43, I have a lovely, caring, complimentary DH, a comfortable life where all the people who love me are so happy I met someone decent, and two little boys who are such a wonderful addition to our lives that we look at each other and sigh like a pair of morons all the time. It can happen. But it won't with that waste of oxygen in your life.

I got divorced at your age. I was very lucky in that I had family I could live with for a while during the purchase of a new house. As soon as I had my own place (long before I moved into it) I started to feel better. Imagine being free to make your own decisions about everything. You will unfurl.

A new relationship is great, but actually you don't need one until you want one. Being alone is wonderful for a while. You will be absolutely fine. You will be especially fine because you're not leaving a relationship you're happy in - everything will be better.

you havent lost your chance of a family, but you will if you waste any more time with this asshole

Just think that while you are wasting your time with someone who does not love you your ideal, lovely, caring man could be literally working next to you, walking past you in the street, shopping next to you in Tesco's.

Leave this man, learn to love yourself again physically and emotionally and then when you present your happy, confident self to the world who knows what will happen.