I think harry is really brave

[ssd]

Talking about his mental health. Starting talking is the hardest bit. I have to start the conversation and i cant. And i can usually talk for Britain.
I admire him.

I must admit I know little about mental health therapy, but I am baffled by the “blame” element. At least I am confused why it is seen as beneficial to find blame and then to chew on it endlessly and to confront the culprit(s).

Whenever did anyone say, “You’re quite right, I’m sorry, I’m a bad person” ? They either are a bad person in which case they won’t be sorry, or they are just like most of us and made some mistakes in which case they will be deeply hurt.

My dsis had therapy and blamed dm for ridiculous sins. Absolutely pathetic and trivial stuff such as unimaginative cooking and lacklustre birthday parties. She was vitriolic about this and everything that was wrong in her life was focused on dm’s inadequacies. (Dm had weeks to live so she felt it was urgent.) When I had dd she turned on me and she had been told to “let it out” how I had stolen her thunder (from a cyst removal) which resulted in her phoning me up when dd was three days old and screaming at me.

Sorry to vent but this is my experience of someone being told to confront their family. And dsis wasn’t being paid. Heaven knows how much worse it would have been....

I think PP had had enough of Harry. When Harry came over for the summit with the Queen, PP was filmed being driven away from Sandringham. The smoke from the car tyres was something to behold

That is pure assumption or wishful thinking.

Some of the stuff I read on here has me open mouthed it really does

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind

I don't think Roussette's comment is ignorant or distasteful- she's mentioned losing a sibling at a young age in horrible circumstances. We're all products of our experiences and I know exactly what she means.

Of course grief can hit people in unexpected ways and can be horrific. But taking personal situations out of it, can anyone really say that an elderly person who has lived a long full life dying is the same as a young person? I've always found it a comfort to think of a long life well lived but do appreciate that others think differently. I think it's helped me to think this way.

My one remaining grandparent is very elderly and in absolutely terrible health, and it's at the point where it will be a relief when they are no longer suffering. I thought when Philip died good on him, he lived a long full life, and I'm glad he didn't drag on in terrible health. He didn't seem the sort of person who would want to live in that way.

I think the issue with roussette's comments are the implication that grief can be measured on a scale - that is patently not true. Intellectually you may realise that the death of an elderly relative should be a ' celebration of a good life' but that's not really how life( and death) works. At the time of course you can be devastated and suffer grief and to suggest otherwise is hurtful and dismissive to the bereaved, suggesting that they should just get on with it because after all - they were old . No one has suggested that this is the same as a young person dying in whatever circumstances .perhaps this is not what was meant, but it certainly is how it comes across

@Roussette

I think PP had had enough of Harry. When Harry came over for the summit with the Queen, PP was filmed being driven away from Sandringham. The smoke from the car tyres was something to behold

That is pure assumption or wishful thinking.

Some of the stuff I read on here has me open mouthed it really does

I always notice a lot of wishful thinking and opinions stated as fact on these threads.

I feel really uncomfortable watching all these endless interviews. Who is advising him?! I cannot believe that any therapist would suggest the scorched earth/ pain for sale approach Harry is taking. What exactly is he planning to do with his life? When I heard they were moving to Canada for peace and privacy I thought- good in them. Good luck to them. This is like watching a slow motion car crash. And today he released statements about how Diana was exploited into her tell all BBC interview and it ruined her life... does he not have any self awareness at all? Fast forward thirty years and we will be seeing Archie selling his interviews about how his parents ruined his life and messed him up. I think Harry needs some time away from the spotlight and some genuine advice from someone who cares about him and doesn’t just want to make money out of him.

I just find I can’t believe most of what he’s saying. Archie’s third word was grandma Diana (really?) and his first word was Crocodile... and his statement about drinking a weeks worth of alcohol in a day well yeah so did a lot of 20 year olds. Everything is just so dramatic with them, I actually thought he was brave at first but now I genuinely believe they’re playing a massive game and using the MH card for this is disgraceful, it’s clearly about money and publicity.

Whenever did anyone say, “You’re quite right, I’m sorry, I’m a bad person” ? They either are a bad person in which case they won’t be sorry, or they are just like most of us and made some mistakes in which case they will be deeply hurt. Very good point

I adored my father who was sadly long gone before the dcs arrived. Yes, I tell them about him and how proud he would have been (sometimes!) but “Grandad” as a third word?

I think it must have been terrible for him losing his mum.
And of course he has a lot of healing to do.
But the royal family are just like any other family - they have their problems and there is always two sides to the story.
Would you be OK about your brother speaking to the international press about the problems in your family?
When Charles was his single parent, Harry was either at a boarding school or in the army for decent chunk of his life. It's not like he was at home all the time hanging out with Charles being on the receiving end of his apparently bad parenting.
And I don't get how he can openly say his brother encouraged him to have therapy before he even met Meghan and he heads up a mental health charity but all of a sudden now money is involved its like he has discovered the benefits of therapy for the first time.

Lady Gaga speaking brave and Glenn Close moving. Really tough speaking out and having your emotions exposed. Haz it was everyone elses fault, appears to believe his life is harder than other peoples and had so much therapy now it is getting obvious he won't change.

William and Harry are different people @Watermelon222

We all respond to death and grieve differently. Plus William went through the death of his mum at a different age to his brother - obviously. What's not so obvious is that they were at different stages of development and that would - in addition - change the way they were affected by their trauma.

I think losing your mum as a child affects a persons identity profoundly. Harry might seem like a bore - but even with therapy the death of his mum will always be a fundamental part of who he is. Every stage of your life puts your grief into a new light. Having children has been the most significant time for that to happen and is probably why Harry is being so vocal now.

I’m sorry it’s not brave. It’s either very stupid or very clever depending on why they’re doing it. What’s the motive(s)?

What do they want out of it. Everything they’ve ever done has been meticulously planned and choreographed. Nothing is unintended, nothing by accident.

Publicly bitching about your family is not a well known therapy technique I’ve come across. Quite the opposite and I’ve had several years for grief and trauma. So it can’t be that.

Is he having some sort of breakdown, is he being manipulated (ironically) in the same way that Diana was? It could be that.

It’s certainly not going to heal the rift and build bridges as they begin their new life. So it can’t be that.

What we do know is that they’ll make a fortune out of this. It’s good for their PR. It’s very likely to be that.

We also know it will further antagonise relations with the RF. Is that what they wanted too, if so why?

And what about the future. What are their long term ambitions and how does hostility with the RF fit into that? Is it deep seated insecurity on the part of H, narcissism on the part of M or both?

This is planned, calculated, and purposeful. Not brave. Brave would have been to come back and talk to them face to face. Not to bully them through the world’s media.

I think his new psychologist has a lot to answer for. He’ll live to regret going this far.

I didn't say it could be measured on a scale. I am just not sure where you got that from.

If you have ever suffered a completely awful horrific tragedy of someone in the prime of their life, you just cannot think of it exactly the same as a 99 year old passing away at home. (Sorry, I will say 'passing away,' because it suits the point I am trying to make)

I have never ever suggested someone should 'get on with it'. Never, and I do bridle at that suggestion given I have spoken to very many bereaved people with something I was involved in for a long time.

I am not trying to put anything on a scale but I just know that someone who has gone through an unexpected shocking tragedy of a young person, talks very differently to a person whose elderly parent just slipped away in their nineties. Yes, the grief is there, of course it is. But the raw shock of someone's young life gone in the flip of a coin, isn't.

Now... you can take offence at that if you wish. That is what I feel and have experienced from personal grief and from others.

mummyoflittledragon I agree.

I do think the RF tried to protect both boys. For me, the outpouring of grief (I never did quite understand that but each to their own) and the media frenzy that ensued, more or less forced their hand to return to London to show their grief.

All they wanted was time to shield the boys. The members of the public who voiced their displeasure must shoulder some of the blame for that. As must TB.

I remember being shocked and saddened by her death but the weeping and wailing by people who didn’t know her was met with raised eyebrows round here.

H was right in that respect. He had to put in a stiff upper lip when he lost his mother, while strangers were beside themselves crying.

I still think hurting others will never soothe your own soul though. It may well be healing for him in the short term. Losing the trust of your family in the long term though? Not worth that.

I must admit I get a bit annoyed at those who wear their emotions on their sleeve being oh so sensitive and those who put on a brave face being cold and unfeeling. It just ain’t that simple.

@douliket

I absolutely agree,Op. I have never, in my life, seen somebody, to be so viciously attacked in the media, well, except maybe for Diana. Christ, it seems some people can't make their mind up. I think it's fascinating how as a nation, the uk, wept on the streets when Diana was hounded to her death, openly blamed the media. The minute the royal family needs the media once more to strengthen their power, then the uk are fooled again.they did it to Diana and not they will do the same to Harry. If Diana really was the people's princess, if you really loved her like you all said you did, those many years ago, then support her son. She can't do it, so do it for her. You do not have to pick Harry or William,support them both. Harry is now in the position that his poor mother was in and the people of the Uk Should be ashamed of how they have turned on him. Is bullying really this rife in the uk? Yes, I think Harry is very brave to walk away from a powerful institution, knowing the backlash he would receive and knowing the Uk people would easily be led and turn on him.

Great post.

I think Harry needs some time away from the spotlight and some genuine advice from someone who cares about him and doesn’t just want to make money out of him

I couldn't agree more, but there's no knowing if his therapists aren't also awaiting their turn in front of a camera; after all some of Diana's did it, so what's to say the SoCal version may not do the same?

The feeding frenzy is ghastly, but it's perfectly true that he can think for himself, and it's his choice to offer himself up time and again - so he'll just have to deal with any consequences

It’s good for their PR. It’s very likely to be that.

It clearly isn't good for their PR, judging by this thread and the whole of the British Press.......

I still think hurting others will never soothe your own soul though. It may well be healing for him in the short term. Losing the trust of your family in the long term though? Not worth that

Completely agree

@IrmaFayLear

I must admit I know little about mental health therapy, but I am baffled by the “blame” element. At least I am confused why it is seen as beneficial to find blame and then to chew on it endlessly and to confront the culprit(s).

Whenever did anyone say, “You’re quite right, I’m sorry, I’m a bad person” ? They either are a bad person in which case they won’t be sorry, or they are just like most of us and made some mistakes in which case they will be deeply hurt.

My dsis had therapy and blamed dm for ridiculous sins. Absolutely pathetic and trivial stuff such as unimaginative cooking and lacklustre birthday parties. She was vitriolic about this and everything that was wrong in her life was focused on dm’s inadequacies. (Dm had weeks to live so she felt it was urgent.) When I had dd she turned on me and she had been told to “let it out” how I had stolen her thunder (from a cyst removal) which resulted in her phoning me up when dd was three days old and screaming at me.

Sorry to vent but this is my experience of someone being told to confront their family. And dsis wasn’t being paid. Heaven knows how much worse it would have been....

I must admit I feel similarly.

I can't really fathom the therapeutic benefits of essentially encouraging what is essentially quite narcissistic behaviour.

It feels like an approach that can only result in opening fresh wounds for all involved rather than help heal old ones.

It’s not a great post at all. Harry did not walk away. He tried the SussexRoyal thing, which was very much not walking away. Remember that?

@VoodooQueenofthebayou

I completely disagree, I think he has actually done more damage to discussing mental health than good. What he has done is weaponise it to settle old scores and monetise it to fund his future. He has not come at this with clean hands so his credibility is shot.

I think he is very publicly unravelling and is in a spiral downwards. He's probably only got so much to sell and is hoping something sticks that he can make a long term income from. The problem is he is becoming a side show which isn't good because that tends to get very old very quickly.

His celebrity pals will start backing away from him once he isn't useful anymore. They are clearly using him right now and making money off the situation. He will eventually become persona non grata when he keeps selling stories.

Its really sad to watch.

I feel sad for William, must be painful watching him unravel so publicly. William went through exactly the same trauma and there's no acknowledgement of that, its all about Harry.

Its really sad to watch.

Agree.

Who here would advise someone who is obviously vulnerable and working through some deeply personal issues to go public in this way?

@Roussette

I didn't say it could be measured on a scale. I am just not sure where you got that from.

If you have ever suffered a completely awful horrific tragedy of someone in the prime of their life, you just cannot think of it exactly the same as a 99 year old passing away at home. (Sorry, I will say 'passing away,' because it suits the point I am trying to make)

I have never ever suggested someone should 'get on with it'. Never, and I do bridle at that suggestion given I have spoken to very many bereaved people with something I was involved in for a long time.

I am not trying to put anything on a scale but I just know that someone who has gone through an unexpected shocking tragedy of a young person, talks very differently to a person whose elderly parent just slipped away in their nineties. Yes, the grief is there, of course it is. But the raw shock of someone's young life gone in the flip of a coin, isn't.

Now... you can take offence at that if you wish. That is what I feel and have experienced from personal grief and from others.

@Roussette you've articulated it better than me- I get exactly what you mean.

It's the absolute sheer horror for me, the devastation for the person themselves for all they have lost, the life and opportunities they no longer have. It's the agony of their parents, as a parent nothing scares me more than something happening to my children. My lovely grandparents, I don't know how they bore the loss of my aunt. It's the young children who are left without a parent. It is just unparalleled loss.

'Harry is now in the position that his poor mother was in and the people of the Uk Should be ashamed of how they have turned on him. Is bullying really this rife in the uk?'

No he isn't being bullied, grow up. Many people wished him well, many people thought he should have avoided the big wedding do in the first place and just quietly stepped back.

The problem isn't his mh issues it is the way he is being enabled by big media corporations in the US to project all his fury onto his family. He is self harming in public and it is uncomfortable to witness.

@IrmaFayLear

It’s not a great post at all. Harry did not walk away. He tried the SussexRoyal thing, which was very much not walking away. Remember that?

They wanted to work something out with the RF and were stonewalled. I have no problem with 'the Sussex Royal thing', why should I? And the gist of the post I quoted was mainly about the shitty, awful bullying that continues to happen and is an absolute stain on our national character, frankly.