Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
murbblurb · 21/05/2021 09:12

Dogs place a serious restriction on life and activities. People who choose to have dogs must accept that. If their friends and family get pissed off and won't see them because the dog limits where you can go and you have to carry bags of shit around - fair play on the friends and family and choices have consequences.

You can't leave a dog for hours, it will bark and ruin the day for the neighbours and they are also destructive.

NoMLMbots · 21/05/2021 09:14

@RampantIvy

TBH I can't understand why a dog can't be left at home just for the duration of a pub lunch. I grew up with dogs, cats and guinea pigs, but my family had a balanced view about them. The pets enhanced our family life but they didn't take over our life.

I think the issue with lockdown dogs is that they have never been left alone, so when people start returning to work there are going to be a lot of anxious dogs.

True

I had never hear of dogs with separation anxiety before now it appears it is commonplace. Obviously the owners fault for not correctly training the dog/getting it used to being alone etc but how stupid.

UhtredRagnarson · 21/05/2021 09:14

OP I am a dog owner, dog lover and I agree with you. My dog is very important to me. She is like a third child and my life very much rotates around her needs as well as my DCs. However, I don’t want to have her attached to my hip. And I know other people don’t love her like I do. I attended an outdoor yoga class recently and one of the other attendees brought her dog Hmm it was not the reading session I had envisaged. Listening to her dog snuffling, chewing, scratching, choking himself by pulling on his lead and making normal doggy noises really pissed me off.

Lightswitchesoffatnight · 21/05/2021 09:17

@CrystalE

We do want to see them - not their dogs.

We have guinea pigs - we love them and they enhance our lives but we don't need them with us every waking moment.

We’ve had a Guinea Pig, they are cute. We’ve also, always had dogs. The difference between the two is, the former is just a pet, the latter is part of your family. People who don’t ‘do’ dogs tend not to understand that.

You won’t change how people feel about their dogs. As a dog is considered part of the family, peeps want to do stuff with them. Dogs aren’t the sort of pet you leave at home.

I hope this helps.

Branleuse · 21/05/2021 09:17

its really not even that complicated is it. Noones forcing anyone to be friends with dog owners. You arent forced into going for walks with people surely? If you want dog free country walks, you meet a friend that doesnt have dogs. If you dont want to be around children, you dont try and meet up and do child friendly activities with parents and tell them not to bring their kids.
Your friends lifestyles are part of who they are. When youre an adult, you usually are spinning many plates, and juggling many balls.
People have relationships, they have families, and they have pets that need looking after. These extra responsibilities do impact on the other things you have time for, and thats why people bring them along to try and multitask. Its also why some people drift apart if they cant tolerate this.

MissyB1 · 21/05/2021 09:17

OP you sound much harder work than any dog.

SoapboxFox · 21/05/2021 09:18

Rabbits and guinea pigs are herbivores, not 'vegetarians' which implies a choice.

Having said that, you can buy so-called 'vegetarian dog food'.

CrazyCatLazy · 21/05/2021 09:18

I thought this was a wind up at first 😂.
They’ve chosen to take the commitment of having a dog, which comes with restrictions and rightly so they are prioritising them. Good for them for being great dog owners.
It annoys me when I can only meet my friend with young babies in a place suitable for young babies, but such is life and I recognise that my friend has priorities and commitments that I don’t.

LST · 21/05/2021 09:18

@Minezatea

Brilliant. OK then 🤣 Like I say, just don't go. I am so so glad my friends and family are who they are. This thread is making me really appreciative thats for sure!

Well yes, like I said I wouldn't. Makes me glad that most of friends and family - who understand that their dogs are not fun for everyone to be around and don't think they have the right to force them on others - are who they are. Makes me appreciate them all the more for their ability to consider others not just themselves.

I'm not considering just myself. I still stand by the fact that going for a walk and expecting someone not to take their dog is unreasonable. If it was just a pub lunch I wouldn't take him. Me and DP take our dog (well used to before covid) every Saturday into the local town and go to all the pubs that allow dogs. If someone wanted to join us they would be welcome.
Badpicknic · 21/05/2021 09:22

YANBU OP.

Turkishangora · 21/05/2021 09:27

I used to think walks and dogs were the perfect fit but I've had too many walks ruined by other people's dogs. It's very awkward when friends rock up at my house with their dog, the dogs aren't welcome, they scare my cats, bark, smell and trash shoes/furniture. Dogs can be left for time limited periods if you train them correctly. I grew up with dogs, rescue greyhounds to be precise. They were easy animals they didn't bark, could be left, slept all night, walked without any dramas. The issue these days is the owners not the dogs. They are neurotic, fussy and unboundaried with them and don't understand them. Dogs are pack animals and need to know where they are in the hierarchy in a house. If you treat them as equal to humans with few boundaries they will be needy and aggressive.

Cyberworrier · 21/05/2021 09:29

I agree LST. Most dog owners I know do two one hour walks a day - it really is illogical and inconvenient for the family with a dog to have to do those walks on top of a lunch time walk with the OP. And I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a pub that’s not dog friendly in England for years, I think NI has less, not sure about the rest.
To me it sounds like suggesting going to a zoo or the science museum, without children. When both activities are great family inclusive activities and not bringing the children will require booking a baby sitter. Pub lunch and country walk or beach are lovely activities families with dogs like to share with their dogs!
I would love to know if the other family have actually asked her to carry the dog poo! Haha. Some of my relatives were squeamish about dog poo....then they had a baby and realised how tidy and easy picking up dog poo is.

ExConstance · 21/05/2021 09:31

My dog - SBT cross- is vegetarian. She lives on a Purina feed that is made from pea Protein, although this is because of a skin condition it shows dogs can happily and healthily be vegetarian.

ArrrMeHearties · 21/05/2021 09:34

I got stumped at vegetarian pet 🙈😂

Flatpancakes23 · 21/05/2021 09:35

What the hell is wrong with mns. Dogs arent are a required extension of someone. They can leave the dog at home for a couple hours to spend some quality time with family members. Especially if they havent seen them in a while. I'm saying this as someone who lives with a dog. Sometimes taking the dog makes the whole outing about them and their needs rather than just being able to relax and enjoy the company of the people your with. I get you op. I'm afraid you posted on the wrong website for a matter like this. Mns are dog crazy and if you so much as imply something negative towards a dog you get a backlash.

Auntycorruption · 21/05/2021 09:37

I think your biggest issue is these sound like people with untrained dogs.

No reason why a well socialised and trained dog can't go on a fields walk on a lead, or wait in the car while you have a pub lunch if they're not allowed in.

It's not the dogs that's the problem, it's the people.

aiwblam · 21/05/2021 09:40

OP, the fact is that these people have dogs.

You can’t just sod off for the day and leave the dog behind - because it’s just cruelty.

These people come with their dogs.

Cosmos45 · 21/05/2021 09:45

@CrystalE

What's weird to me is why everyone, after 20 years of child rearing graft would then want to tie themselves down with another committment. I also question whether the humanising of pets has gone too far - if they didn;t bring dog and just left it at home with lunch - would the dog actually be thinking - oh no am missing out on lovely family day out?
I am sure my dog wouldn't be worried about missing out on the lunch but she would be worried at being left at home alone. Before Covid I could probably leave her for maybe 3-4 hours (at a push) by herself when we went out, any longer than that we would ask a friend to look after her. Now, due to us being at home 24/7 for the last year she panics if we leave. In fact she panics when one of us goes to the shop. She is elderly and we have had her since she was 8 weeks old, so hell yeah, she would be really stressed and upset at being left. To me, this is the same as leaving a 4 year old child at home alone. Sorry you don't feel the same but most responsible dog owners would do the same. If I was being invited for a walk I would assume the main purpose of it would be to walk the dog as well.
LST · 21/05/2021 09:46

@Cyberworrier

I agree LST. Most dog owners I know do two one hour walks a day - it really is illogical and inconvenient for the family with a dog to have to do those walks on top of a lunch time walk with the OP. And I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a pub that’s not dog friendly in England for years, I think NI has less, not sure about the rest. To me it sounds like suggesting going to a zoo or the science museum, without children. When both activities are great family inclusive activities and not bringing the children will require booking a baby sitter. Pub lunch and country walk or beach are lovely activities families with dogs like to share with their dogs! I would love to know if the other family have actually asked her to carry the dog poo! Haha. Some of my relatives were squeamish about dog poo....then they had a baby and realised how tidy and easy picking up dog poo is.
I havent come across a none dog friendly pub for years either with the exception of wetherspoons, which I don't want to go to anyway!
AgathaAllAlong · 21/05/2021 09:46

I agree that folk who treat their pets as humans and expect you to fuss over them, invite them to your wedding and let them stay over at your house overnight when they visit. But I see no problem with a walk, it's just a walk. Ask them to suggest the place like others have said, or do a 5 minute google to find suitable dog walks and pubs nearby. It seems to me that you are being almost deliberately difficult about the pub. How hard can it be to find one dogs can be at?

RB68 · 21/05/2021 09:47

Fundamentally dogs are pack animals and don't like being on their own. They always need more exercise so if you are walking somewhere you take them too, its being efficient. Half the problem now is its a no no to leave the dog in a car - even if the weather is abysmal like today. Although I don't understand why more people don't buy the boot prop things that you can lock etc.

I find walks without the dog boring if I am honest - although that could say something about the company as well

DenisetheMenace · 21/05/2021 09:49

Do something instead of a walk? Don’t suppose they take them to the theatre?

Cosmos45 · 21/05/2021 09:51

@RB68

Fundamentally dogs are pack animals and don't like being on their own. They always need more exercise so if you are walking somewhere you take them too, its being efficient. Half the problem now is its a no no to leave the dog in a car - even if the weather is abysmal like today. Although I don't understand why more people don't buy the boot prop things that you can lock etc.

I find walks without the dog boring if I am honest - although that could say something about the company as well

Same here! I only started to walk when I got a dog. My dog is getting slower now and can't do the type of walks we used to do and I don't have a hankering to go out alone without her for a 5 mile walk like we used to do together. It just seems pointless to me to walk without a dog.
TheMotherlode · 21/05/2021 10:07

YANBU op, I really don’t know when people became so previous about their dogs.

DSis and SIL have both got dogs in the last couple of years and it makes planning any family activity so much harder as they expect the dogs to be included in absolutely everything. Trying to book a holiday with them and can only stay in dog friendly accommodation, must only go to dog friendly restaurants. Booked an afternoon tea recently for a family birthday and SIL/BIL refused to come as they couldn’t bring their dog Confused.
They also went through a phase of not wanting the dog and toddler to be too close as the dog was nervous so rather than putting the dog in another room or outside expected me to keep the 2 year old on my knee for hours Hmm

Jaxhog · 21/05/2021 10:08

I sympathise Op. Some dog owners are like this. Not all, thank goodness.

The problem with 'dog friendly' places is that they are full of other dogs too. I like dogs, but don't want them always around me - especially on a beach or in an eating place.