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Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
LST · 21/05/2021 08:38

@Minezatea

What’s the issue if the dogs join you on a walk though?

Depends on the dog of course but my friend brings hers and we spend half the time stopping so he can sniff things, calling him back if he's been off the lead, or standing still as he's sat down and had enough of walking. It is much less enjoyable as a result.

I'm with you OP. Nothing wrong with having a dog but I'm not a fan and don't want them trampling over my picnic, jumping up at me, marring my walk, stinking the place out in a pub. Obviously in their house this is just how it's going to be but to never have respite from their annoying habits is a bit much.

You are being unreasonable expecting dogs owners not to take their dogs on a walk. If it is that much of a hindrance to you, don't got on a walk with them. Simple.
TheMNChicken · 21/05/2021 08:40

This is a change of pace from the usual dog bashing MN threads, I'll say that.

wdmtthgcock · 21/05/2021 08:44

We just get up in the morning, think - its a lovely day, lets go some where lovely and go there without having to worry about any of this shit (other than making sure guinea pigs have ehough hay for the duration)

So just do that then.

For family activities where they are insisting on bringing their dogs insist on them planning the dog friendly days-out. Why can't they plan? As they have dogs they must have lots of ideas.

RhubarbCustardy · 21/05/2021 08:45

Lizzie523. Exactly. My friend is always distracted when he let's his dogs off the lead and its hard work esp as they too aren't that responsive when called. I have made a couple of excuses as to why I can't go and so not seen him so often as I feel that his mind isn't really on our conversation but what to say is 'please can you not leave the dogs at home?' He is a dear friend and sensitive who is going through a particularly difficult time so would be upset if I said anything.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 21/05/2021 08:45

YANBU, and I say that as a huge dog lover who has had a few. Now I’m pet free I can go anywhere, any time, stay out as long as I like and, much as I’d love another dog, it’s lovely not to have to consider a dog’s needs.

I have a walking friend who’s lovely but who always brings her dog. Pooch is well behaved but I dread encountering cattle; cattle tend to dislike dogs, making the situation potentially dangerous, and friend is scared of them at the best of times. Then there are stiles that the dog needs help getting over, which resulted in dirty paw smears on my jacket.

Dogs (and kids) ruin the flow of decent country walks in my experience and I prefer hikes to be human adult only affairs. Same for in cafes and restaurants.

Minezatea · 21/05/2021 08:46

You are being unreasonable expecting dogs owners not to take their dogs on a walk. If it is that much of a hindrance to you, don't got on a walk with them. Simple.

I disagree. Why do only the dog owners wishes matter? Anyway I do go but I enjoy walks with her less than with others as a result of the fact that we are only walking for around 70% of the time and dog managing the other 30%. I would draw the line at having them in a pub. In that instance I would choose not to go as it's just not fun. It's not necessarily wrong of her to bring her dog for a walk but it's still to think that it doesn't change things and to assume that everyone is happy to be dominated by the dogs needs.

HJ91 · 21/05/2021 08:48

OP, I’m with you, but am also not a dog person. Having lived with a dog briefly, the noise, (often smell) and the constant attention/neediness irritates me. Last time I went for a pub meal outside, a friend’s dog constantly kept trying to eat off my plate and the owner laughed as though it was adorable and kept hinting that I should give the dog some of my food (I didn’t). I also feel uncomfortable around them as I’m a runner and have been chased/jumped on many times, which reminds me of a terrifying experience with a dog I had as a child, and receive a torrent of verbal abuse when I’ve asked the owner to keep their animal on a lead. Every time, without fail.

Even if they can’t leave the dog alone, they could surely find a dog sitter if they cared enough about seeing you. However, you may be treated like a pariah by the owners if you dare to admit you simply aren’t a fan and would rather not be around them.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 21/05/2021 08:51

You sound ridiculous . How dare people make a decision that enhances their own lives, if it's dares inconvenience you 🙄
A) well behaved dogs on leads can be around livestock

@ginoclocksomewhere, people have been seriously injured by cattle because they’ve followed footpaths through fields with “well behaved dogs on leads”! Most cattle attacks on walkers are because of this. So OP doesn’t sound ridiculous to be uncomfortable.

Killahangilion · 21/05/2021 08:52

We have a large breed dog that needs plenty of daily exercise. That’s our responsibility to meet that need.

However, there’s no way I’m bringing him with me when meeting friends unless it’s for a doggy play date with their dog. The dog has an outdoor run with kennel so he’s put in there when we go out without him.

He’s a dog not a child. He can be left home alone.

LST · 21/05/2021 08:55

@Minezatea

You are being unreasonable expecting dogs owners not to take their dogs on a walk. If it is that much of a hindrance to you, don't got on a walk with them. Simple.

I disagree. Why do only the dog owners wishes matter? Anyway I do go but I enjoy walks with her less than with others as a result of the fact that we are only walking for around 70% of the time and dog managing the other 30%. I would draw the line at having them in a pub. In that instance I would choose not to go as it's just not fun. It's not necessarily wrong of her to bring her dog for a walk but it's still to think that it doesn't change things and to assume that everyone is happy to be dominated by the dogs needs.

Don't go with her then. If we were going for a walk I'd not go if I couldn't take the dog as I have mobility issues and would have to wall him later and my legs just wouldn't allow. If there was a walk and it ended in a pub I would also take him. He lies under the table asleep. You don't even realise he is there. What is the issue with that? If the dog is not well behaved I would understand, but if they are there is literally no issue!
Branleuse · 21/05/2021 08:55

I wish more people would bring their guinea pig on pub lunches. Id be more inclined to accept the invitation then

Maharajah20 · 21/05/2021 08:56

I feel you!!

I do not want family members bringing their dogs EVERYWHERE.
Come to my house for a bbq, Sunday lunch, birthday, Christmas ANY visit and dog has to come. Why??
I don’t like dogs. I don’t want your dog in my house. I have made this very clear. Said no dog in my house.
So they come and park in my drive , nearly through the window, and leave dog barking in the car 🙄
Any family trips out and dog has to come.
It is infuriating.
It has caused major upset in our family.

Embracingthechaos · 21/05/2021 08:57

@Branleuse

I wish more people would bring their guinea pig on pub lunches. Id be more inclined to accept the invitation then
Couldn't agree more.

I would also like to have a pint with a chameleon, but unfortunately I don't think they are vegetarian.

Minezatea · 21/05/2021 08:58

He lies under the table asleep. You don't even realise he is there. What is the issue with that? If the dog is not well behaved I would understand, but if they are there is literally no issue!

Well dogs smell so of course I would realise he's there. It would certainly be less of an issue with a well behaved dog (and well behaved owner?) but as you can see from this thread, they are rare.

Lalliella · 21/05/2021 08:59

I totally agree OP! I hate dogs and I can’t be doing with people who impose their dogs on others. My pet peeve is having to go and stay at their dog-stinky house every time we meet up because they can’t come to stay at ours because we won’t let them bring their dog!

We’re going to an afternoon tea party soon and 2 couples are bringing their dogs! Fuck off! I don’t want your stupid smelly yappy slobbery animal harassing me when I’m trying to enjoy a piece of cake! YADNBU OP.

Branleuse · 21/05/2021 09:00

@Minezatea

You are being unreasonable expecting dogs owners not to take their dogs on a walk. If it is that much of a hindrance to you, don't got on a walk with them. Simple.

I disagree. Why do only the dog owners wishes matter? Anyway I do go but I enjoy walks with her less than with others as a result of the fact that we are only walking for around 70% of the time and dog managing the other 30%. I would draw the line at having them in a pub. In that instance I would choose not to go as it's just not fun. It's not necessarily wrong of her to bring her dog for a walk but it's still to think that it doesn't change things and to assume that everyone is happy to be dominated by the dogs needs.

Well theres only two options isnt there. Bring the dog or dont bring the dog. You cant compromise and bring half the dog.

Id rather walk my dog than walk with a friend and then have to still walk my dog later. Seems mad not to combine it. My dog is not a pain.
I have friends who know best way to spend time with me is to come on a dog walk as it kills two birds with one stone and we are both busy.

LST · 21/05/2021 09:03

@Minezatea

He lies under the table asleep. You don't even realise he is there. What is the issue with that? If the dog is not well behaved I would understand, but if they are there is literally no issue!

Well dogs smell so of course I would realise he's there. It would certainly be less of an issue with a well behaved dog (and well behaved owner?) but as you can see from this thread, they are rare.

Brilliant. OK then 🤣 Like I say, just don't go. I am so so glad my friends and family are who they are. This thread is making me really appreciative thats for sure!
Minezatea · 21/05/2021 09:06

Brilliant. OK then 🤣 Like I say, just don't go. I am so so glad my friends and family are who they are. This thread is making me really appreciative thats for sure!

Well yes, like I said I wouldn't. Makes me glad that most of friends and family - who understand that their dogs are not fun for everyone to be around and don't think they have the right to force them on others - are who they are. Makes me appreciate them all the more for their ability to consider others not just themselves.

MrsMaizel · 21/05/2021 09:07

@CrystalE

What's weird to me is why everyone, after 20 years of child rearing graft would then want to tie themselves down with another committment. I also question whether the humanising of pets has gone too far - if they didn;t bring dog and just left it at home with lunch - would the dog actually be thinking - oh no am missing out on lovely family day out?
You are expecting everyone to bow to your unusual views .
gottakeeponmovin · 21/05/2021 09:08

Surely you can find somewhere to go where you can walk the dog? Walks and dogs are a perfect fit. If you wanted to do something like go to a restaurant then they wouldn't bring the dog. I don't see how this is restricting the activity for you at all. It sounds like you are just being awkward

whenwillthemadnessend · 21/05/2021 09:08

I have a dog and I knew before I got him I could never be the sort of owner that never leaves him.

I trained him
To be ok alone for an afternoon or morning. If it's longer I'd get someone to pop in.

I couldn't live with a really needy dog. Rod for own back.

noblegreenk · 21/05/2021 09:08

I can sympthatise with your friends and family to an extent. I don't take my dog to the pub because she gets restless, but I feel guilty going for long walks and not taking her. Walks are her favourite thing, so I feel guilty to go walking without taking her. I can understand yoy feeling the way you do about pub meals but not walks.

DreamingNow · 21/05/2021 09:09

@CrystalE, as non dog owner, I would get back to them saying that actually you don’t know what’s best to do when going out with dogs so they need to do the planning/booking etc...

Then I would ignore the dogs and let the owners deal with them.

The issue you have is that it’s family so you won’t be able to always ‘impose’ non dog friendly activities. You’ll have to compromise a bit but they need to take ownership of the fact they are the ones who have a dog. Not you.

greenlynx · 21/05/2021 09:10

OP, I’m with you 100%. Bringing dogs to meet up with relatives looks like bringing a toddler to the hen party for me - it completely changes dynamics. And no, their dogs are not family members they are animals. So it’s ok for you not to be keen on them ( dogs).
However I agree that you are suggesting too dog friendly activities, try something completely different like a dinner at the restaurant or meet up at ceramics studio.

Maharajah20 · 21/05/2021 09:12

@Lalliella

I totally agree OP! I hate dogs and I can’t be doing with people who impose their dogs on others. My pet peeve is having to go and stay at their dog-stinky house every time we meet up because they can’t come to stay at ours because we won’t let them bring their dog!

We’re going to an afternoon tea party soon and 2 couples are bringing their dogs! Fuck off! I don’t want your stupid smelly yappy slobbery animal harassing me when I’m trying to enjoy a piece of cake! YADNBU OP.

🤣🤣🤣

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!