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Original poster

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

410 replies

CrystalE · 21/05/2021 00:07

I don't mind dogs. We don't have them because of environmental concerns - we have vegetarian pets.

However recently I am fed up as trying to arrange to meet various family members seems to be totally constrained by their dogs . Here are examples:

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"

I want to see family - not their dogs. Why can't the dogs just stay at home ...............

We love our pets but we don't want to take them everywhere with us.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 21/05/2021 08:08

Well aren’t you a nice person

The dogs mean a lot to your family members. Yes I would probably leave mine at home if I was meeting someone like you ( If i cba to meet you)

Say to them you don’t want them to bring the dogs

But dint expect them to meet you often

Deadringer · 21/05/2021 08:08

I agree with you op. Thankfully no one i know irl is like this, unless it's specifically a dog walk when we meet up it's humans only.

MotherOfGodHoulYerWhisht · 21/05/2021 08:09

I haven’t rtft but imagine you’re getting flamed.
For what it’s worth I completely agree with you! I can’t stand dog people. Not dogs, I love dogs, I hate ‘dog people’. Our dog is very much part of our family but we don’t let it dictate our life and we certainly don’t have the entitled attitude that everyone else should accommodate them. People comparing them to children in any way are batshit.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 21/05/2021 08:11

@CrystalE

They are not our friends. They are our family. We haven't seen them for almost a year because of Covid. We want to see them - unencumbered by dog complications.

Many country walks are not suitable for dogs where we live/ are planning to meet because of livestock.

We don;t have to carry the poo but the dog owners do and this is a PIA as they are always wondering where the next dog poo bin is.

Well, you sound like a laugh a minute. No wonder they prefer quality time with their dogs.
NoMLMbots · 21/05/2021 08:11

What's a vegetarian pet? Canaries? Slow worms?

@CrystalE

EmpressSuiko · 21/05/2021 08:11

Dogs are social animals, it’s not fair to keep them locked indoors for hours at a time, especially if you can find a place that allows dogs to join you.
My pup goes almost everywhere with us, it’s really healthy to keep a dog socialised as it can help prevent any behavioural issues.
Are the dogs well behaved?

AlternativePerspective · 21/05/2021 08:12

So your pets are ok because they’re vegetarian. Never mind that you’re keeping animals caged who should never have been caged in the first place?

If you want people to take you seriously on the animal front you shouldn’t have any pets at all.

You talk about humanising animals in relation to dogs, yet many animals such as rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters have been caged for our entertainment purposes.

A hamster travels around 5km in a night yet people think it’s ok to keep them in little cages with a wheel to fill that need for distance.

Similar with guinea pigs, they’re not meant to be caged, they’re meant to be free, but humans have decided they want to own them, so who gives a shit about the environment there eh?

RestingPandaFace · 21/05/2021 08:13

I was a dog owner for 17 years until my two passed away quite close together and I get it @CrystalE some people have to make everything about the dog, and it gets wearing! Yes they are lovely, yes they are family, yes I preferred their company to some humans, but they don’t have to be the centre of everything all the time. It’s OK to want the focus to be on the people, especially after not seeing each other for so long.

MIL and FIL are the same about their bloody cat. They wouldn’t come for Christmas lunch the last 2 years because they can’t leave their cat alone for 4 hours. Madness.

Cactusesi · 21/05/2021 08:13

Some people love their dogs much more than their friends and relatives. It can be quite humbling and even annoying to take second place to an animal.

Latelatelate · 21/05/2021 08:15

Easy.

Lets meet up for a pub lunch - family member A - "are dogs allowed"
Not inside no, sorry.

Lets go for a country walk - family member B "can it be dog friendly"
Do you know anywhere?

How about a beach visit - family member C - "will dog have to be on lead"
Yes

Be specific. We’re thinking of going to Do you want to go? Unfortunately they don’t allow/it’s unsuitable for dogs.

Foresttheout · 21/05/2021 08:17

I would find it a bit odd if a friend was annoyed i'd asked to bring my dog on a walk as it isn't hard to find a dog friendly route and you can go through fields of animals just on lead. Unless it was phrased as do you want to come on this specific walking route which isn't dog friendly then whatever the dog stays at home. Same for the beach if you had just generally invited me for a beach walk I would ask if we can go to local dog friendly one. If you asked me to go to a specific non dog friendly beach again fine dog stays at home.
R.E the pub yanbu on that point unless all the pubs around allow dogs it is annoying to have where you can eat/drink dictated by an animal. Although even if the pub you chose was dog friendly i'd probably leave mine at home anyway because that is an activity that doesn't really benefit the dog or the owner like the walk would

Sparklingbrook · 21/05/2021 08:18

@NoMLMbots

What's a vegetarian pet? Canaries? Slow worms?

@CrystalE

Guinea Pigs, rabbits.
CutieBear · 21/05/2021 08:19

I don’t like the idea of dogs being in restaurants and pubs! So I’m not surprised that it annoyed you. However, if you’re going for a walk then I don’t know why a dog would bother you?

CutieBear · 21/05/2021 08:21

@Pinchoftums

What the fuck is a vegetarian pet?
Did you not go to school? There are animals that are herbivores (vegetarian) such as rabbits.
Chunkymenrock · 21/05/2021 08:21

I understand OP. You don't need to justify it on here. I have guinea pigs too and love dogs very much but don't love the compromise they cause. I'd do a mixture if I were you, one time go for a walk with their dogs but another time ask if you can go for a meal without dogs as you want to enjoy their company without compromise.

ImaHogg · 21/05/2021 08:22

I love my dog to pieces, he is my best buddy but I only ever take him when meeting family/friends if they too have dogs, we never bring him with us when people don’t have dogs. But then again most of my friends do have dogs so it’s not a huge problem and everyone adores my dog, I tend to gravitate to those with similar likes/dislikes.

Moondust001 · 21/05/2021 08:24

@Cactusesi

Some people love their dogs much more than their friends and relatives. It can be quite humbling and even annoying to take second place to an animal.
Some people have met their relatives, and definitely love their dogs much more, and with good reason. I certainly can. The same isn't true of my friends, but then my friends would never think "let's go for a walk and she can leave the dog behind". That is because they are friends. And fwiiw, my dog is definitely better trained and behaved than many of the children I meet. It isn't that dog owners value their dogs more than valuable people. It is an assumption on the part of some people that they are valuable. And have you not considered the very real possibility that actually the dog owners in this case are not tied to the animal, but that it provides a useful excuse to not meet the OP because they actually don't like her and her attitudes? It's much easier to say I want to bring the dog (knowing she hates dogs and will therefore probably not invite them very often) than to say that they would rather walk over hot coals than meet with a relative they don't really get on with. Just because someone is family doesn't make then someone you want to spend time with.
VeganCow · 21/05/2021 08:24

I feel the same about kids too, and I have 2 grown up. Can't be doing with them, I am a doggy person. So, bring your dogs, but PLEASE for the love of God, leave your kids in the car, at home, on the beach, anywhere but at the dinner table.

RampantIvy · 21/05/2021 08:24

TBH I can't understand why a dog can't be left at home just for the duration of a pub lunch. I grew up with dogs, cats and guinea pigs, but my family had a balanced view about them. The pets enhanced our family life but they didn't take over our life.

I think the issue with lockdown dogs is that they have never been left alone, so when people start returning to work there are going to be a lot of anxious dogs.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 21/05/2021 08:25

Surely if you arrange the outing, you can call the shots? And if they don't like it, they don't have to come. But if you're arranging the outing to see them, you're going to have to compromise.

We have dogs and tbh I find a walk without at least one of them a bit of a waste of time, but they can be left and we often go to the pub without them.

MrsMiddleMother · 21/05/2021 08:29

I completely understand! I really do not like dogs, so if I want to see and spend time with you, no I don't also want to have to see your animal. I don't know why people are so happy to leave their pets at home while they work or go gym but can't just to go for lunch. I also fully avoid 'dog friendly pubs and cafes 🤢 so no i wouldn't be going with food with your dog in tow.

LST · 21/05/2021 08:31

There is zero chance if I was going for a walk or the beach with family I would leave my dog at home.

Paperreceipt · 21/05/2021 08:32

Fed up of other peoples dogs complicating my life.

I'm another one who read this and briefly thought, "That's how I feel about other people's children". I mean, I'm not really fed up of it, but, you know?

LST · 21/05/2021 08:32

@MrsMiddleMother

I completely understand! I really do not like dogs, so if I want to see and spend time with you, no I don't also want to have to see your animal. I don't know why people are so happy to leave their pets at home while they work or go gym but can't just to go for lunch. I also fully avoid 'dog friendly pubs and cafes 🤢 so no i wouldn't be going with food with your dog in tow.
There are no pubs where I live or go on holiday that don't allow dogs apart from whetherspoons.
Minezatea · 21/05/2021 08:33

What’s the issue if the dogs join you on a walk though?

Depends on the dog of course but my friend brings hers and we spend half the time stopping so he can sniff things, calling him back if he's been off the lead, or standing still as he's sat down and had enough of walking. It is much less enjoyable as a result.

I'm with you OP. Nothing wrong with having a dog but I'm not a fan and don't want them trampling over my picnic, jumping up at me, marring my walk, stinking the place out in a pub. Obviously in their house this is just how it's going to be but to never have respite from their annoying habits is a bit much.