What's been "mansplained" to you recently?

[askingrandomsonlinemighthelp]

My DP is a mansplainer extraordinaire. We were walking along the coast toward a famous (in these parts) lighthouse.

He told me what a lighthouse was.

Working in recovery and vulnerable people who need support to rebuild there lives I get tired of people be it male or female trying to tell me that or these people lives are in a mess through there own doing and addiction is not an illness and so on.

I have a few learnt short sentence replies to shut them up. This can come from either male or female.

Also as a widow people try and tell me what to do etc etc. I'm like are you widowed? Well no is there answer so they get short sharp shift replies

How to bring up children by a man in his 60’s never married, never had children of any kind, nor looked after them in any context. He knew everything about everything, and had been everywhere.

@keffie12

Working in recovery and vulnerable people who need support to rebuild there lives I get tired of people be it male or female trying to tell me that or these people lives are in a mess through there own doing and addiction is not an illness and so on.

I have a few learnt short sentence replies to shut them up. This can come from either male or female.

Also as a widow people try and tell me what to do etc etc. I'm like are you widowed? Well no is there answer so they get short sharp shift replies

Well said, there’s still a lack of understanding around addiction, and I wish people who don’t understand just keep quiet.

@Pinkrinse

How to bring up children by a man in his 60’s never married, never had children of any kind, nor looked after them in any context. He knew everything about everything, and had been everywhere.

TBH that sounds like DH and I before we had our DCs!

At least we now realise how stupid we were though.

I screenshotted a post on here as it made me laugh - the one about Hunger Games and twatting her husband. I sent it to my friend.

She replied, she didn't know what mansplaining meant.

Fortunately, her DP had explained it to her.

Erotic transference. I’m a therapist.

Encounter groups. See above.

The menopause. A male manager had just been on a course about it and was now fully qualified to talk to any female colleagues about theirs. I was SO tempted to take him up on his offer.

My husband is on the spectrum and if he knows something, he HAS to impart the knowledge. Even if everyone in the room/world knows it. He does it to other men too though. I take comfort.

In hospital after having my DD by c section I was opposite a woman who had just had a DS we both had trouble getting our little ones to latch on during breastfeeding but we needn’t have worried because later that day during visiting time her FIL came in and said I don’t know how you’re having so much trouble it clearly tells you what to do right there , as he pointed to the breastfeeding guidelines on the wall!
If I’d been bottle feeding he would have had one planted firmly in the back of his arrogant little head!

I was livid that she assumed an Oxford educated man - or indeed any sentient adult - was so thick he needed ticks and crosses explaining to him, as if the fact he had cancer meant she should treat him as an imbecile.

I've got to defend this one. Lots of people just nod and say 'yes' when talking to health care professionals and don't listen, usually because they are stressed.

I used to stop half way through explaining a procedure and say, "can I just check, what's your middle name?" 9 times out of 10 the answer would be, "yes" with a nod.

And it cuts across all demographics including Oxford educated.

Written info is, hopefully, read later.

The difference between sex and gender.

That was entertaining.

And then a first meeting between me and a potential speaker at one of our work conferences: he spoke to my colleague as though she were some lowly servant (she's our project manager and, while very sweet and gentle, absolutely sh*t-hot at her job) and then spent 10 minutes explaining to me what the subject of our conference was really about.

My colleague then introduced me as Head and and he went white as a sheet

Needless to say, we didn't hire him.

I was told by the man who came to repair the dishwasher that it wasn't the pump, but rather I was loading it wrong.

One pump replacement later. . . Twat

@GodolphinHorne

I know this is all ‘light-hearted’ but don’t think the small children ones really count? My three year old daughter also regularly explains stuff to me, like words to songs that I’m getting wrong (i.e. instead of her nonsense versions).

But, I do have a meeting coming up with a male colleague who has kindly offered to explain work/life balance to me, and how to work part-time properly.

I’d include teenagers in this. They love to tell me what they ‘know’ or have ‘learnt’. As long as they are not wrong I let them get on with it.

Me, pregnant, getting into a taxi to meet friends, every single time:

Taxi driver: off out are you? Anywhere nice?

Me: yes meeting friends for dinner

Taxi driver, looking at bump in rear view mirror: when’s it due then?

Me: in a couple of months.

Taxi driver: you’re going to get the shock of your life when it comes: sleepless nights, can’t go out anymore.

Me: yes I know, the sleepless nights are tough aren’t they.

Him: you don’t know the half of it. My missus slept one hour in every 24 the first 3 months. She didn’t see her friends for five years because you’ve got to put the kids first, innit .

Me; silent

Taxi driver: sorry I’m just having a little laugh to myself, because you’re going to get such a shock when it comes. You won’t be able to do this anymore so make the most of it.

Me: I’ve actually got three at home already.

Taxi driver: it’s not your first? From the look of you, I thought it was your first...

Me: no.

SILENCE

About my geriatric pooch: "Make sure you don't overdo it with her, remember she's old!"
I'm a veterinary nurse

A male colleague telling me how amazing breastfeeding is and how breastmilk contains antibodies. I was a peer supporter for 2 years until we were defunded. When I mentioned this he just carried on and was wrong about half the stuff he said! When I corrected him he just wasn't listening and carried on talking. I told him he was a mansplaining arse and needs to listen to what women tell him.

I am not popular at work

I’m going to stick my head above the parapet here. I’ve had men explain things to me that I know well in a most irritating manner. But nothing beats the internet for this sort of thing, as you cannot see who you are explaining to, and women are as bad at this as men are. Over in another thread here on mumsnet I have had many aspects of my job explained to me by customers and people who know someone who does my job. I’ve pointed out the inaccuracies of some of their points, only to have another MNer come along and explain it again to me! I’m fairly sure the posters are women, but if a man had explained my job to me the way these posters had, it would be mansplaining to the extreme.

Nhs absence management policy. Mansplained to me by a car mechanic.
I've worked for the nhs for 16 yrs.

@Climbingthegreasypole

Me, pregnant, getting into a taxi to meet friends, every single time:

Taxi driver: off out are you? Anywhere nice?

Me: yes meeting friends for dinner

Taxi driver, looking at bump in rear view mirror: when’s it due then?

Me: in a couple of months.

Taxi driver: you’re going to get the shock of your life when it comes: sleepless nights, can’t go out anymore.

Me: yes I know, the sleepless nights are tough aren’t they.

Him: you don’t know the half of it. My missus slept one hour in every 24 the first 3 months. She didn’t see her friends for five years because you’ve got to put the kids first, innit .

Me; silent

Taxi driver: sorry I’m just having a little laugh to myself, because you’re going to get such a shock when it comes. You won’t be able to do this anymore so make the most of it.

Me: I’ve actually got three at home already.

Taxi driver: it’s not your first? From the look of you, I thought it was your first...

Me: no.

SILENCE

Maybe he could have put them first too rather than laughing at his wife's misfortune... twat.

@Mycatismadeofstringcheese I really need to know what your follow up was here!

When I was doing a PhD my DH frequently told people all about it in my presence. He was never right but I couldn't be bothered to correct him.

Oh, thought of another. We were interviewing someone and I arrived a couple of minutes late so wasn't introduced at the beginning. The candidate was talking about the (senior technical and scientific) role and kept saying 'he will do this, he will do that'. Really jarring to hear when we always use gender neutral language at work talking about job roles. When he'd finished and I was introduced (as someone who did the role he was being interviewed for), he actually did a double take, I think he must have assumed I was from HR. He was pants in the interview though so didn't get the job. Ha!

@tentosix, I had to learn the hard way always to take my receipt from self-checkouts.
I was stopped at the exit, because one item had a very small security tag on the back, which of course I hadn’t noticed, and there had been no alert to summon an assistant to take it off.

I had to stand there, humiliatingly suspected of shoplifting, while they went through a load of receipts in a bin, to find the one that proved that I’d paid for it.
Never again!

[quote Pbbananabagel]@Mycatismadeofstringcheese I really need to know what your follow up was here![/quote]
I was far too nice about it and after laughing hysterically for a while, phoned and patiently explained what I needed.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

A male colleague telling me how amazing breastfeeding is and how breastmilk contains antibodies. I was a peer supporter for 2 years until we were defunded. When I mentioned this he just carried on and was wrong about half the stuff he said! When I corrected him he just wasn't listening and carried on talking. I told him he was a mansplaining arse and needs to listen to what women tell him.

I am not popular at work

I posted up thread about it but yes the same happened to me - mainsplained at about the virtues of breastfeeding by a twentysomething man at a work event 🤦‍♀️ (“It’s very good for the baby, you know”) 😬

I had my revenge by describing the symptoms of a particularly bad attack of mastitis in great detail, until he and all the surrounding men were shifting from foot to foot in discomfort and absolutely desperate to get away 😄

My brother-in-law is, I think, the original mansplainer!

Just a few examples.

I was a very experienced senior fraud examiner working for a huge company. I had to go to the Old Bailey to present complex evidence in a high prodile case. BIL explained in minute detail how me giving evidence was a waste of everyone's time. You see, the police are the ones to investigate crime, not me!

He tried to explain how to put up a tent - I go camping alone, UK and worldwide. I don't think he's even been on a campsite.

Drew diagrams so i could understand how fossils were formed.

But, the funniest was him explaining periods and pregnancy and how they are connected. I gently tapped his arm, said "there there", I told him I understand how frustrating it must be to have to live in a world with women; he then started to explain why I had no idea how frustrating it was having to explain even the basics of life!

I stopped seeing him 4 years ago and my quality of life improved!