What's it like having older children

[Motherofmonsters]

My eldest is 3 and I just can't imagine what it's like to have a child that's not really young. It makes me feel strange to think of them being more independent. Does it feel strange or is it really natural and you don't notice.

I have a 19yr ok who hasn't lived at home go almost two years.
Being her Mum is a absolute pleasure, I adore it.
Seeing her grow into adulthood and her achievements without my help make me glow with pride.
She's been with her lovely boyfriend for four years and they just go from strength to strength.

I do miss her, but we message or call daily and are closer than ever, this is my favourite stage of parenting.

Oh ffs, excuse typos.

@WorkWorkAngelica

This thread is (mostly) reassuring.

There's a thread running just now about whether someone should have a 3rd baby when she has older children (preteens I think). The overwhelming response is that the older children will need her more as preteens/teens and it's so hard to parent them at that age etc. I found that really depressing to read. The 0-5 stage has been so difficult and demanding and I'm due number 3 with little enthusiasm for doing it again. I really, really can't cope with the idea that worse lies ahead. If it does, what's the point? Why would I even bother doing this?! My whole life will just be given over to servicing my DCs needs

Honestly? I genuinely believe that if you put the real effort in in the 0-5 years, and get it (mostly) right then the rest of the parenting ride is all downhill. I found the 0-5 years hard, very hard because I was determined to get it (mostly) right.

This meant always imposing firm, but fair, boundaries from when they were tiny. I always meant what I said, and said what I meant - so they knew exactly where they stood with me. I didn't issue empty threats or empty promises. I insisted on good manners and a sensible bedtime routine.

My DDs were allowed (limited) choices - e.g. do you want to wear this dress? Or this dress? Do you want a cheese sandwich or a ham sandwich? I never got bogged down in those endless pointless toddler negotiations that were so stressful for so many of my friends. I refused to be dictated to by someone who had yet to develop the ability to reason, or apply basic logic. Basically I was a benign, but loving, despot

And, it worked. It worked like a dream. I put all the hard work in when it really mattered - and ever since it been effortless and easy and enjoyable (95% of the time).

I like teenagers, Am not so good with little ones.
Teenagers are maddening & you long for them to move out, but they are also fascinating & fun.

100% agree with @peaceanddove although it's not easy and it doesn't work for everyone.